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Flying Again


STARKISS

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Hi All,

I am going to fly again, It has been over one year since I was on a plane last. The last time I was on a plane was when we came home from vacation and it was the trip that we lost my mom... It was a very hard flight because of just losing my mom and the fact she was not coming home with us... It was a very bumpy ride in the plane.... Now I am going with my sister and her family to Walt Disney World and all I can do is cry about going.... I just can not get excited about the trip.... I feel I want to go very much but the fact of getting on another plane and traveling out of the country just makes me cry... Does anyone have any help or ideals so that I do not make a mess of this trip for my sister's family.... Take care Shelley

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Shelly,

I can imainge what you are going through, the last plane ride I took was coming home from Disney World without Karen. I don't remember much of the flight, I think I was pretty much out of it. I wish I could give you some words of advice, all I can say is to turn it over to God and ask him for peace. God bless you and have a safe trip.

Love always

Derek

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Shelley

I have been reading your posts and am so sorry for your loss. I'm sure your sister is anticipating your anxiety and will help you through...and you will help her as well. Good luck on the plane ride...I know you'll do fine. Go, enjoy and have fun...your mom would want that for you.

Take care...Lori

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Hi Shelley...

I've found that when I have to do things that I feel anxiety about,like getting together for family stuff, I try to approach it with a "be in the moment attitude". Yep, I'd rather stay home where I feel safe and unexposed to anything outside of my comfort zone. (I say that as if I actually have a comfort zone yet). I would say to go with the knowledge that no matter what comes up, you'll be okay. You will. If you find yourself in overwhelm..explain that to your sister and take some time to breathe, be alone,walk...whatever brings you close to your center. I know our "center" is a hard place to find right now. Try to be aware of tension being held in your body and let it go. Expect about 50% out of yourself and know that people who love you will get it and let you be where you are...and still love you. I know all of these things are hard to do...I get it. I feel most times that I am functioning at 30%. Know that we're thinking of you and sending you energy and courage.peace to you...Marie

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Starkiss,

My therapist has taught me how to deep breath and picture a very relaxing place in my mind before getting into a very stressfull situation. If you have an ipod, listen to music and picture a very relaxing place in your mind. Remember. your making new memories with your family that your Mom and Dad would want you to do. I'll keep you in my prayers that all goes well.

Missing my Mom,

Trudy

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Hi Lorikelly,

Thank you for replying to my post, I think the time for flight is three and a half hours from Toronto airport. I will definitely keep you posted as to when I return from this trip... Take care Shelley

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Hi All,

Thank you all for your kindness and support you have given me through all the replies to my post... I leave this Friday morning at 6 am and I still have the trouble about getting excited about the trip... I fear that when I get on the plane all I will be able to do is cry... If I do cry I fear that I will spoil it for the children.... I do not want to cry but when I think about leaving and going on the plane that is all I can do...Thanks again for all the kind words and support Take care Shelley

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Hi All,

I am emailing again to tell all that this trip is a big mistake, I say this because I just found out today that my brother-in-law really does not want me around all the time when we are in Disney World... How am I suppose to enjoy it if I am all alone in a place that I know nothing about... If I knew this before I agreed and paid the money I certainly would not be going.... Now what will the trip be like knowing that he is not wanting me to hang out with them all the time.... I am certainly not looking forward to this trip and I wish I could just say no I do not want to go.... Take care Shelley

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Oh Shelley,

I agree with Trudy, your BIL is a big jerk. Ya know what, you might just have a good time by yourself! Just wander around and do what YOU want to do! You might even meet some people who you can chat with. I'm so sorry he had to add this extra stressor to the trip. And if you think you might cry on the plane, just go to the restroom, have a good cry and don't worry what they think. Think of it as an adventure and a break for you. As Trudy said, we'll all be with you (unfortunately in mind only....wish we could be there in person....we'd have a good time for sure!). Just try your best to not get too nervous about it and try to have fun. Good luck, I know you can do it and come out ok!

Big hugs,

Shell

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Hi Trudy and Shell,

Thank you so very much for your kindness, It is so nice to visit this site and find people here that really do understand and care about what is happening to you... I wish everyone was like that... During my flight I am going to pick the seat away from my brother-in-law and just try to enjoy a good book... At the hotel I will just pretend that he is not there and I will try to have a good time without being around them all the time... I have planned a trip after we come back it is just to the town I was living in with my parents before they died but I will stay at a hotel and just do some sight seeing on my own... Take care and Thank you again for being there for me when I really did need friends... Shelley

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shelley

that bil is a jerk. i know it will be hard to do things alone but disney is great about that. there is so much to do. maybe you will have a good time when you are alone. are your nieces and nephews going? if so maybe you could take them for the day and your sister and brother in law can have there own time. what does your sister say to him? have a safe trip, wish we could be with you. lori

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Hi Lorikelly,

I was joking around with my two nephews and my neice this morning I told them that Bailey their dog could go to Florida with them and I would go and stay with their Uncle Barry where Bailey is going to be... My nephew spoke right up and said no Aunt Shelley you need to come I want to show you things.... That made me feel a little better... I found out by my neice that her mom was a little more than upset with their dad yesterday but I did not stick around to find out what actually happened... As soon as I finished my cake I was out of there.... Thanks for being there for me when I really needed a friend Take care Shelley

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Hi All,

Thank you All so very, very much for all your kindness and support during this difficult time that I have come across... I now realize if I need a friendly word all I have to do is come to the computer and sit down and open this website up... I know that it is not like having a real friend face to face but it is just as good to me... Thank you again for all your support and kind words that All of you have written in all my posts.... You are All Angels to me.... Take care Shelley

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Shelley, dear ~ as someone posted elsewhere in one of our forums, there are real people behind all these messages, and the friendship you feel here is real. If that is all you have right now, then celebrate it and let it be enough. If love required the physical presence of the beloved, then none of us would be able to maintain our relationships with our deceased loved ones. All of us here know (or are learning) how to continue to love in the absence of the ones we love. Whether we can see you or not, whether you can see us, we still are able to love one another.

I, too, hope your trip to Disney is over the top and FUN. No one deserves it more than you do. Take all of your friends here with you in your heart, and we will keep you safe in ours. :wub:

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Hi All,

It is certainly nice to know I have some real friends out there... Thank you for all your replies, I must admit yesterday at dinner by brother-in-law who said he really did not want me to hang around all the time with them while we were in Florida has now decided that he would like it because his wife said that they would not be able to take a day and go golfing if I were not with them... Now you would probably assume that they would ask me if I would look after the kids for the time they golfed but guess they just assumed I would because all they can talk about is going golfing and there was no asking me anything.... But you know I am going to look after them because it would be nice for them to get away for even a morning and I know the children would love it if I did... That is why I am for them not for the grownups..... Take care and I will certainly tell you all about the trip when I get back Take care All and God Bless Everyone Shelley

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Hi All,

Well it is twelve hours and counting, I want to thank you all and I will definitely be thinking of you all... Especially Derek who lost his wife there, I only wish for everyone here is that you all get out and have some fun too... I know everyone is hurting over losing a loved one and it is hard to think of having fun but think of what your loved one would have wanted.... Take Care and you are all truly amazing people and I am very proud to call you all friends... Thanks again Shelley

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