Mrcelloboy Posted November 21, 2007 Report Share Posted November 21, 2007 It's beautiful and sunny in California; I imagine same in AZ as well.I'm finishing a book called "The Time Traveler's Wife" and have reflected lately on how I often feel like a time traveler in my grief.I'll be celebrating tomorrow with my son Quinten, my lady-love Melanie, and her son Evan. We plan to light a candle for Kathy. I have one I'd gotten when she was still living that spells out "GO GIRL" each letter a different color. She went allright.Thinkgs have been good lately. I've been dealing well and Melanie and I seem to be doing OK with my sadness which still wells up at some point almost daily. I'm learning to praise some of the loving things that go on for Mel and I, not just reflect on how wonderful Kathy was. Melanie is so very understanding, but sometimes I realize too late that something I said hurt her. It can be a little bit of a dance at times, but I believe we'll make it; that I'll come out learning to love Melanie at a level I love/loved Kathy.How's it going for others this Thanksgiving?Maury Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted November 21, 2007 Report Share Posted November 21, 2007 Maury,I hope you and Melanie and your sons have a good Thanksgiving. I'm having a tough time right now, my husband doesn't handle holidays well, I am just figuring that out. Last night he got smashed (all night) and wouldn't answer the phone when I called or let me know what was up and he was antagonistic towards me this morning. I finally realized that it's usually right before a holiday when he goes sideways. It hurts a lot because I always used to have wonderful holidays and it's hard not to remember. I've decided that no matter what, I'm not going to let him ruin my Thanksgiving, I'm having my kids up and we'll have a good time with or without him. I'm not sure what the future holds, but I have to make mine bright the best I can. I realized somethings a little too late, but I'm making the best of it...if I can spare one person on here from doing the same, it'll be worth something.I'm wishing everyone the best...KayC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertBob Posted November 21, 2007 Report Share Posted November 21, 2007 Gee, Kayc, I'm sorry. You are handling it the right way.Special blessings to you.--BobMaury,I hope you and Melanie and your sons have a good Thanksgiving. I'm having a tough time right now, my husband doesn't handle holidays well, I am just figuring that out.KayC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinne Posted November 22, 2007 Report Share Posted November 22, 2007 Kayc, I am so sorry for what you are going through, but you are handling it right. I know what you mean about jumping into things too quickly. When Jimmy died I drank and jumped into the relationship with John before I finished grieving and finding myself, which is why I have now lost him and have to help my girls deal with losing their Dad. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving.Hugs & prayers, Corinne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted November 22, 2007 Report Share Posted November 22, 2007 Kay, I hope it gets better for you, this is definitely no a good day for me either, my chrohns is flaring up though I don't "feel" any grief, its rearing its ugly head. Why does it have to be this way? this stinks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted November 22, 2007 Report Share Posted November 22, 2007 Kay I am so sorry for what you are going through, and I hope you are thinking of what is best to do for you, it sounds like you are. You deserve the best and don't you let anyone tell you or treat you differently !!! William I know what you are going through, my Steve had Colitis and had a rough time with it too. Everyone please have a wonderful Thanksgiving, we will get through this !Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lyn Posted November 22, 2007 Report Share Posted November 22, 2007 Maury, good to know everything's going well with you. What you shared gives me some hope for the future too. KayC, You have always inspired us with your faith and optimism. I hope things get better for you, you are handling it well. Im wishing you the best..William, are u taking your meds? Im sorry you are having a hard time now. I am with you too. Please feel free to vent here. I had a hard time the past week too and wouldnt have made it without you guys.Many thanks to all of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted November 22, 2007 Report Share Posted November 22, 2007 Wendy, Lyn, thanx for your being here too, missed some doses of meds, oh well, I pray tomorrow will be a good day for each of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
walter/Erica Posted November 22, 2007 Report Share Posted November 22, 2007 Kayc you are always there for us... I am praying that God will hold you and bless you now and be with your husband. Take Care, Love Erica Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted November 26, 2007 Report Share Posted November 26, 2007 To all my friends here,I felt really cut off from all of you this weekend as my internet connection wasn't working at home and I had four days away from work...however, I had the best time I've had in years. My kids came up and my daughter and someday son in law spent the night on Thanksgiving as John's bdy was Friday and they wanted to help us celebrate, and my son came up both days...we ate and ate and played games, went for walks, watched movies, and played with the dogs. I couldn't have hoped for any more. Today it is back to the old grind but that is as it should be, it feels good to have a good weekend and dread work instead of the other way around and I think all of you know what I mean. My husband was very tender and we had some good talks this weekend...I know the trucking business he wants to start isn't going as fast as he'd hoped but I told him I thought he should relieve some of the stress off himself and go at a pace he can handle rather than killing himself, I've waited this long, I can wait another year. It just feels good to be going in a positive direction.My thoughts were with all of you this weekend, I just wish I could have gotten on line, every time I tried it wouldn't work and my emails wouldn't send. Maybe my old dial up connection was overloaded... KayC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorikelly Posted November 27, 2007 Report Share Posted November 27, 2007 KayC I am so happy that you had a good weekend. It does help start the week off to a good start. I hope that we all will continue to get better days.Lori Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted November 27, 2007 Report Share Posted November 27, 2007 Lori,I hope so too...it almost feels out of place to say something good here, but I want you guys to see that it can get better and even if it's up and down, we have good and bad moments and that's better than all bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stallyn Posted November 27, 2007 Report Share Posted November 27, 2007 Kay,if we could rub a budda or summon a genie just to make the holidays "enjoyable" though impossible would be a nice christmas gift. I'll find a pond and throw a quarter in it with a wish we will do a-ok this holidays Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted November 27, 2007 Report Share Posted November 27, 2007 William,Since we usually throw pennies in ponds, a quarter ought to do the trick! KayC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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