Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

I Think It's Time But Not Sure


Recommended Posts

Hi Jan,

I think you'll find most of us saying there is no time frame on doing those things. I think you'll know it when the time is right for you to place things away, donate, etc. We each have our own times, sometimes it even years. Just take your own time. Good luck!

Your friend, Karen :wub:;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jan

There is no time frame as others have said. Here on this site we won't put a time frame on something like that. Those on the outside world will however say that it is time and such, but they just don't know. For me I have slowly started removing her things. It has been over 2 years now and there are still some of her shoes in the closet. I got rid of her clothes when I needed room in the closet. As time goes on I find myself more and more ready to get rid of more things. You will know when the time is right and only you will know. Don't let anyone else make you get rid of something before you are ready as you may find that you regret it later. You won't regret it when you are ready.

Love always

Derek

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jan

I think you'll know when the time is right. I could put some of the things in the hall closet from the bathroom relatively quickly but for the most part all of his clothes are exactly where they were when he died 6 mos. ago. Since he died during basketball season and my grandsons have to get dressed up on game days I dry cleaned all of his ties and all the "boys"(sons in law included) took which ones they wanted. I also didn't feel bad about giving the t-shirts he had worn to work before he retired 5 years ago to a mission. He had worked for the local Medicine Shoppe as a delivery person so I am having a friend make teddy bears out of his Med. Shoppe shirts. The tummy will have his name and one arm will have the Med Shoppe logo. If you have a lot of ties I saw a thing where they made a table runner by basically cutting the ties in half and alternating the fat with the little. Someone else had covered their small lamp at the bedside by layering the tie "ends". That way you have something to remember him by.

I hope this helped some. I can't say a whole lot because I am still too new to this but I know what I read from everyone that eventually you will feel comfortable with something that is written.

Mary Linda

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jan

Take your time. There is no wrong way or right way to go about this. When I heard a friend of mine's mother decided not to get rid of anything of her husband's, I thought at the time that she was in denial. But now that I am in the same situation, I don't think I can disagree with that decision. I do eventually want to donate all of his clothes, but for now it's a little difficult. You see my husband just died only 3 1/2 weeks ago. I did give away some of his shirts that were still with labels on them to my three brother-in-laws. My husband and I were in the process of rennovating our home and there is quite a bit of supplies, debris - whatever you name it comes with rennovating. I have started to clean out my home so I can get to finishing it.

So do what's best for you. Some people feel more comfort in seeing their loved ones belongings.

Love and God Bless,

Jeanne

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you so much for all your replies. I am so glad that I found this website. I am so very sorry for all of you that have had recent losses. I know exactly what you are all going through. It will be 5 months August 9th. It is a tough road. But with the help of everyone on this website it makes it a little easier. Jan

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jan,

Our closet rod that had George's clothes on it broke shortly after he died, and I needed to do something with them so I boxed them up to give away when I was ready and tried to be mindful of where I thought he would want them to go...he was a very caring man and I knew he'd want to help the down and out, so most of his clothes went to Sponsors, a place where newly released inmates go as they reenter society. I kept the clothes that most reminded me of him...his fishing vest and hat, his robe, a favorite vest he loved, a jacket, a sweater...things I can go and touch and hold from time to time.

His colognes, etc. I held onto for several months...I still have some of his things in my bedroom, like his jewelry box that my son made.

This is such an individual thing, I don't think it matters so much how long we keep them as that we listen to our own heart when we make those decisions. If you decided to pass anything along or get rid of anything, you will know what and when the time is right.

KayC

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...