dpodesta Posted April 6, 2009 Report Share Posted April 6, 2009 Hello my HOV Family,Well tomorrow will be 3 years since the loss of my wife. As I reflected on this today thinking about the things that were going on today and the time frame of things tomorrow I couldn't believe that is has been this long. I look back at where I was 3 years ago, the pain that I was in and the wonder of how I was going to make it by myself rasing a then 6 year old boy. The raod has not been easy and still sometimes it still isn't. I have come a long way since then, in that time frame I have gained a relationship with God that I never thought possible, I have a church family that means the world to me, and I have a group of friends here on this site that I consider family as well. Right now all is well, I think about tomorrow and while there is some sadness, I am not overly grieved by the thought of it being 3 years tomorrow when my life changed forever. Tomorrow might be different as far as feelings go but for now I am good. I have to work tomorrow which will be a distraction for me and I am sure will help me get through the day. There have been a lot of ups and downs but the downs are getting fewer as time passes. I hope by posting this that those that are newer to this group can get hope from this that things will get better. Those that are in this and have less than a year right now are going through a lot of pain and it is hard to imangine that life can get better, but I can tell you from my experience that it will. Just keep coming here, post your frustrations and we will help you get through it. I have asked several of my closer friends at church to pray for me tomorrow, and to pray for my son as well. This has not been easy for either one of us but we are making it. I also ask those of you here that pray to also keep us in your prayers tomorrow. Thank you all of you for being here for me when I needed it most, I hope I have been a help to some of you. Love alwaysDerek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinne Posted April 6, 2009 Report Share Posted April 6, 2009 Derek,I will keep you and Carson in my thoughts and prayers today. Love & Hugs, Corinne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeanneC Posted April 6, 2009 Report Share Posted April 6, 2009 Hi Derek:I know that all these anniversaries we go through are tough. I am happy that it is not as hard as it was in the beginning for you. I have yet to reach one year. That will be in June. But things seem to be getting better for me. At least I don't burst out in tears when I talk to anybody. But our lives have changed forever and it wasn't what we had planned it to be.I will pray for you tomorrow and hope you have a nice day.Love and God Bless,Jeanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted April 6, 2009 Report Share Posted April 6, 2009 Derek, dear, know that you and Carson are in my thoughts and prayers . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted April 6, 2009 Report Share Posted April 6, 2009 Derek, It was 3 years ago today you lost Karen, a wonderful wife and mother and I wanted to let you know my thoughts and prayers are with you and Carson on this day and always. You already know how proud I am of you with the wonderful job you are doing with Carson, it has been very hard I know. You also have given such wonderful advice and support to this group of us who are on this horrible journey together and I know we all send our love and prayers to you today. Godspeed to you and Carson my dear friend, sweet dreams. ((((HUGS)))) Love you,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teny Posted April 6, 2009 Report Share Posted April 6, 2009 Derek Im thinking of you today and your son. It is 29 months for me and you were one of the first of my far away friends that have been here for me .You had always a very good advise and so understanding.An ancient philosopher <Aristotelis> told < never talk about a very deep pain to people that have never been bitten by a snake they will nvever understand your pain>.We have all feel the same pain so we can be supportive for eachother.You cgave me hope and wish for you to find joy again.Love from far away TENY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnC Posted April 6, 2009 Report Share Posted April 6, 2009 I can't believe it has already been three years, I remember when you were posting on here and it had been only a few months and how much you have grown since then. And you have been of such help and comfort to so many grieving people on this board -- I am certain your wife sees this and sees you with Carson and is so proud.Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marsha Posted April 6, 2009 Report Share Posted April 6, 2009 Thank you, Derek, for posting this reflection of your journey. You always have words of wisdom, hard earned, I have no doubt. Hearing these words helps me, at just over 9 months, to realize that things will change, hopefully for the better. You and Carson are in my prayers today. Hugs, Marsha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 6, 2009 Report Share Posted April 6, 2009 Derek,My prayers are with you and Carson today...the "anniversary of" (as I think of it) is always a bit challenging to get through. I'm not sure if it's better or worse doing this with a child to raise...certainly harder in some ways, yet having someone around to care for is a plus as well.I wish you the best today...keep growing in Him, He'll get you through everything!Love,Kay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted April 7, 2009 Report Share Posted April 7, 2009 Derek, I wanted to tell you I was thinking of you and your son on this third anniversary. I just had mine third yr. a few months ago and can't believe the time has passed, seems like yesterday. I hope you continue to find peace in the months ahead. Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlg Posted April 7, 2009 Report Share Posted April 7, 2009 DerekBy now the day is over and I hope you and Carson had a "good" day together when you got home from work. It is hard to believe that the road gets easier but I have noticed instead of taking 4 steps back and a 1/2 step forward it is now one or two steps forward and a 1/2 step back. There will always be things that make us sad, like tonight with the Final Four for me. Even though I won my pool I was very sad because it just wasn't the same without Tom here. I am sure he and Karen are up there watching out for us.I hope your road continues to get easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennO Posted April 8, 2009 Report Share Posted April 8, 2009 Derek...you were also new and fresh here with me three years ago. I hope you endured your "sadiversary" and also took time to celebrate the wonderfulness of Karen and, of course, what the two of you produced in Carson. I know that having a young child can be a blessing and a curse, but think of the strength our children will have from walking this difficult road with us...Love to both of you. Jenn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackietnd1 Posted April 8, 2009 Report Share Posted April 8, 2009 HI DERICK,YES.... YOUR WORDS HAVE HELPED ME THROUGH MANY A DAYS. I AM NOT SURE IF YOU WERE HERE BEFORE MEOR IF WE CAME THE SAME TIME. I WILL ALWAYS KEEP YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY IN MY PRAYERS AS I PRAY YOU WILL PRAY FOR ME.KEEP THE FAITHJACKIE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpodesta Posted April 8, 2009 Author Report Share Posted April 8, 2009 Thank you all of you for your thoghts and prayers. The day went by well, a few sad times but over all it went well. I think that knowing between here on this site and at my church were praying for me. This has been a long hard 3 years, however I really believe that this was the easier of the years. This was the first Christmas I have had since the death of my grandmother in 1986 that wasn't depressing. So I know that it does get better, and I am glad that my experiences are a benefit to some of you all.Love alwaysDerek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STARKISS Posted April 8, 2009 Report Share Posted April 8, 2009 Hi Derek,I will keep you and Carson in my thoughts and prayers and also want to thank you for all the kindness you have shown my throught the past years... It is coming up to the fourth anniversaries of the deaths of my parents and it is true to look back and see how much each of us has gone through... Thank you for being there for me and I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers... Shelley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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