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Six Months September 30


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Next week will be a very significant marker of six months since my husband took his life. I have been meeting with a grief therapist for a few months, which has been so helpful on my journey. Recently I went to a widowed persons meeting and had such an uncomfortable experience as the people shared their stories of nursing loved ones who had terminal illnesses. I didn't share my story because I felt so ashamed that my husband didn't fight for his life the way others had; where do I belong I wondered...Since then I learned of an organization that sponsors an awareness event called Out Of The Darkness Walk, which is a fundraising opportunity to provide suicide prevention. I decided to participate in the walk in my city next Saturday, Oct 3, in memory of my husband and also in hopes of increasing awareness so that people who feel so helpless and hopeless will know that there is help for them. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers, this will be an emotional experience for me and all my fellow walkers who have lost their loved ones the same way. Thank you, Mary

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I don't even begin to know how to help you other than to tell you that we are all here for you. I don't know the circumstances and it is none of my business but I can only imagine your grief. I had a friend whose child committed suicide and there is a website for survivors of suicide. I think that may be the webadress also but I don't know if it is .org or what. You may want to look in to it as well as this site.

I am glad you are going to a counselor and that it is helpig. I know that grief is grief and a lot of things are similar but each case is also unique. Please let us know what you need from us. We will help you as much as we can.

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As Mary Linda said, everyone's grief is unique in its own way, though there are similarities in the journeys we are going through. For me, it meant a lot to have something beneficial come out of my husband's death (ie. something to help others). Walking in honour of your husband sounds like a very positive thing to do, both for yourself and for him, as well as those others you will be helping. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Korina

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Many years ago I worked with someone who lost a spouse to suicide, and he shared with me that after time he understood that it was not his fault, he could not have prevented it, and very importantly that his wife's decision to take her life had no reflection whatsoever on how much she loved him. It was just that she was in too much pain (mentally) and that it overcame all her other emotions (such as love for him). It devasted him at the time. My heart goes out to you, truly. I hope that you find peace, as he did.

What a wonderful thing to do. I would imagine the walk will be incredibly emotional, well done for being brave enough to participate. I hope that you connect with others and can support each other.

We will always be here for you, to listen, to talk.

xx

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Mary,

I belong to a grief share support group, which is a class and held at church and there is a women in there that lost her husband to suicide and.. she too has shared some of the same feelings you did. The response of the group is that it is an illness and your husband was in pain.. you did not know or you would have helped him. All our journeys are different and there are many that know that something is wrong and refuse medical care ... well if they knew shouldn't they do everything they can do get better for their loved ones? and many times they refuse or ignore it.

My heart goes out to you and I hope you know that he was sick, love you very much and that you find peace as you go through this terrible time.

My husband celebrated his six months in heaven too and it is a very difficult lonely journey which I take one day at a time.

hugs

laurie

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Mary, dear, my heart goes out to you, and I hope you can feel the loving support of our Grief Healing family as you continue to travel this journey. This kind of loss carries its own unique set of challenges, and I'm glad to learn that you've found a way to connect with others in your community (through the Out of the Darkness Walk) who will relate to some of what you're experiencing. There are dozens of resources aimed at suicide survivors; you'll find many of them listed on the Suicide Loss page of my Grief Healing Web site. I hope you'll take some time to explore some of them. Meanwhile, know that we are thinking of you, and holding you in gentle thought and prayer.

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Dear Mary,

I hope that your Out Of The Darkness Walk will give you some strength and power as you go through this 6 month anniversary. My heart goes out to you. To lose a partner under any circumstances is tramatic and that is what we all share here as we try to navigate this new space.

Much love and strength to you.

Shelley

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Mary,

I am sorry you lost your husband, and I want to welcome you to this site, there are many caring people here who have also lost their spouses. I know that suicide is one of the hardest things a person can have to deal with, and you aren't the first one here that has gone through it, I commend your efforts to raising awareness that there is help and hope for those who are feeling otherwise. Six months is a significant time marker in that it is when reality seems to kick in for many of us, so our thoughts and prayers are with you during this time. I wish you the best.

Kay

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