God Box

[azusaman]

Yesterday I was looking through some of Adrianne's stuff and came across a box which she called her "God Box". In it I found notes and prayers she would write to God and most of them were prayers for me and her addiction and finding a job. Needless to say, the rest of the day was spent crying about how concerned she was for me at a time when I was totally shutting her out. Now this is some heavy-duty guilt that's almost more than I can handle. I feel so bad that I am considering some one on one counseling. Does anyone else on this forum get counseling? Does it do anygood? Just asking.

Ted

[Kavish]

Hi Ted,

I too would have wanted to share more with others but sometimes it depends on the listener if he is listening or not. About counselling it is the same thing. All we need is somebody to listen. I am sure your wife Adrianne knew your concern for her and she can listen to you now.

regards,

kavish

[LindaKoz]

Hi Ted,

I have a Pastoral Counselor who I visited in the past when I was struggling with life issues. We had become very close and she was at Brian's services. I spoke with her about making an appointment in a few weeks -- actually e-mailed her yesterday. She told me that we can work on all of the grief issues, especially the last few days of Brian's life. His death was very sudden and I've been playing the should haves and could haves through my mind. I want to be able to let go and focus on the memories we created during our time together. Personally, I have found it healing to meet with my counselor. Because I am a seminary student and have a relationship with God, I chose a Pastoral Counselor -- bringing God and Jesus into the healing process works for me. Probably the most important piece is to find someone you are comfortable sharing with and who is gentle and experienced in grief issues.

Peace, love, and blessings,

Linda

[MartyT]

Ted, dear, you may find it helpful to follow the links in this post: Can Anyone Tell Me if Therapy Helps?

[Kat2005]

I have been going to group therapy and it has help somewhat. I am seriously considering going to a one on one also. A friend that has gone through a similar experience opted for one on one and they said it helped tremendously.

[mrspapajohn]

Ted - - Every one seems to find relief differently. When Stephen first passed away, I felt tremendous guilt and just wanted to be alone to try to work my way through it. After a while, I found that talking it out helped. I was lucky enough to have a friend who had also gone through a similar time and was there to listen whenever I wanted to talk. There are still times (many) that all I want to do is be alone with my own thoughts, so I guess my answer would be to try counseling to see if it works for you. This is probably the most difficult thing we will go through in our lives snd I wish you the very best. You are in my thoughts.

Kathy

[LarrysGirl]

Ted, Even though my Larry was very ill, we never dreamed he would not get a transplant and live our dreams and plans. So when he died I could not cope at all. I called one of his doctors who put a counselor from a local hospice in touch with me and we met for pretty much the first year. I was very suicidal and if not for her, and THIS SITE, I would not be here. So it is a personal choice for each of us. I had very little support so I needed it from outside sources. Deborah

[marsha]

Ted - My primary doctor recommended a therapist - I held off and held off, but finally went to see him about a month and half after Joe died. I saw him, weekly, for about a year. I was glad I did, as it was such a relief to be able to spill out anything and everything to an objective, caring ear. Because he not only listened to me, but he also gently directed me when I got fixated on my anger and guilt. That, plus being here reading and posting, I believe helped me to realize that whatever I was, and am, feeling, is normal. A very important thing when you feel like you're losing it! Hugs, Marsha

[Maryo]

Hi Ted,

I did the one on one counselling by telephone in my own home. I was able to talk to her about everything I was feeling. The sorrow, guilt, and loneliness were also issues for me.I needed to hear that everything I was feeling was normal.I found it very helpful.

Mary Lou

[singledad2]

Ted,

Though I did not go through counseling, my youngest daughter did and I believe it kept her from spiraling out of control. She was so against it, but she got so much out of it that by the time she stopped, she was very happy that I had basically forced her hand on the deal. As others will tell you though, the impact of counseling is largely dependant on the individual and the counselor. If you and that person can 'gel', I would certainly recommend it.

SD2

[Korina]

Ted:

I am attending counselling with someone who has experience with situations including addiction. I have only gone 3 times so far (I have a budget), so I cannot say for sure how helpful it has been so far. But I have identfied with her that working through my guilt is something I need to focus on (she picked up on that in our first meeting...!). What I do feel is for sure is that this is a person I can just blab to, say things that I might not be comfortable saying to friends or family, and receive some feedback from an objective place.

Korina