Kat2005 Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 I really thought I was doing ok today but when it was time to leave work and everyone was wishing everyone Happy Thanksgiving I lost it. I just can't imagine the Holidays without Pat. This was always a time when we both took vacation to get ready for Christmas. We would put the tree up and the decorations out. I did most of it but he was there always giving his approval. This year I am still on vacation but no one to share it with. I don't know how I will truly get through these next few weeks. Both our families are very small, so alot of the holidays were spent just he and I. I do have my wonderful son and friends that will be there for me if I need them. I just feel like I lean on them too much. I know that I have alot to be thankful for and I should focus on the positive but the pain in my heart takes over sometimes. I would like to wish all my friend here a "HAPPY THANKSGIVING" and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers during this holiday. Take care, Kat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaKoz Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Oh, Kat, I'm keeping you in my prayers, too. I thought I was doing pretty well today until I went to the grocery store with my son. I lost is several times because Brian and I used to do the shopping together. I could picture him checking out the meat department and trying to decide what we should buy. I just miss him so much. I hope you are able to find some peace during the next few days. Lean on your friends as much as you need to. That is really what friends are for. And, take comfort in being with your son. That's my plan. Hugs to you, my friend. Peace, love, and blessings, Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David'sGirlStill Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 Oh Kat and Linda, As I sit here in my office with the tears streaming down my face, I read your messages. I so understand and wonder how many other souls are feeling the same way. I thought I was doing ok, even better than normal, and after I wished everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and the last person walked out of the office, I fell completely apart . How in the earth do we all get through tomorrow? Yeah, I know I have a lot to be thankful for. But this hurts too darn much to be thankful for anything. I wish everyone the best thanksgiving it can possibly be. Hugs Phyllis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted November 25, 2009 Report Share Posted November 25, 2009 I know your heart is hurting. The holidays are difficult after losing the one's we love. Its so hard to go through the motions while other families seem to be in tact. Try to be kind to yourself and know it is hard but you will get through it with the support from friends and family and this great site full of others who know exactly how you feel. Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kath Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Dear Kat, The tears are there to help you heal. It is okay. They don't and won't come so readily forever. You and everyone else are going through the hardest time you will ever have. If you lost a limb and limped and cried, it would be expected. You lost your spouse, your best friend, your reason for celebrating, and so much more. Tears, my friend, are expected and will not be held against you. I had tears today for a different reason. Every year since Bob died (2007), my church and my neighbor's church have sent a turkey. Last year, through coupons and the generosity of so many people, I had accumulated 5 turkeys. I ran all around looking for people to give them to. This year, I picked up a small (10lb) bird for the kids and I. My church knew I was not expecting anything but I still received one from a neighboring church. I heard of a family that was struggling after the father was laid off and I brought it to their house this morning. They don't know me, and I don't know them. The look of gratitude on their son's face moved me to tears and I cried all the way to work. I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of angels. I had no idea I'd feel as overwhelmed on the other end. I pray all of you feel the presence of angels tomorrow. Be it a sign from your loved one, a gift from a stranger or even a sense of warmth from knowing you are being lifted in prayer. To me, you are all angels here on earth and I am grateful for your presence in my life. Kath Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korina Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 My heart goes out to all my friends in the USA this weekend. And Kath, what a wonderful experience - I am sooo glad for you. Korina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laurieb Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Kath You are my angel for today. Thank you so much for your comforting words. We may not get what we want, but we do get what we need today. God Bless you! Laurie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azusaman Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Hi gang, I've been off for a few days and wanted just say I wish everyone of you great people as happpy of a Thanksgiving that's possible. Adrianne and I didn't like turkey and didn't realize it til a few years ago we were sitting down to a turkey dinner and I looked over at her and said "you know I really don't like turkey" to which she replied "you know I don't either, why do we cook one every year? We sat there and had really good laugh, so every year now I will remember that time as a very special moment and hope I can still laugh about it. Best to all, Ted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rochel Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 My Dear Friend Kat, I am with you sister and in your corner with my arm around you and I'm sobbing right next to you...I had a meltdown last night...the worse yet...ready to leave my home for about 2 mos...wanting to take Bob's sweatshirt with me and when I saw the red Wisconsin...I lost it...The pain was so bad that I told myself "just go to bed"...this was also after thinking about this time last year I was complaining that the stuffing was too dry...little did I know I wouldn't have my man next to me this year....such little crap that people worry about...I'm telling all the people that I see don't fight with your loved ones, you don't know where they will be next year....I would urge you Kat that don't think beyond today, it will help you in the most rough of times...keep your eyes on God and He will see you thru...Bless you this day...Rochel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rochel Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Hi Linda,I bet that you and Brian would entertain with his beautiful music on this day!!!...I know that you will be around your many loved ones today...it is so hard to not have so many memories...When you picture him in the grocery store, I bet you get that ache in the pit of your stomach...I know I do...We can't help but think of them, but then we have to suffer the consequences...It sure doesn't seem quite fair does it...Yes, I must say that the grocery store is the place for tears...I watch all the smiling couples and listen to the laughter and I fold...Since this loss, I have trouble with a lot of people laughing...I used to laugh a lot more than now...Bob would also be in the meat department looking for the best deals...He was generous, but he loved deals...We were together last year with my mom and her friend and this year...Bob is gone...and I'm going to Ca. to move in with my mom for awhile...I urge people not to fight with their loved ones...nothing is that important...You have a good day my friend...and keep being the beautiful woman that you are inside and out...Blessings, Sheila Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rochel Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Hi Phyllis, Yeah, isn't it hard to hear that you have a lot to be thankful for...I feel the same way...and it is weird when you are around many people and then left completely alone, that ole bad heavy spirit comes on like gang busters...That has happened to me several times...you just howl sometimes so God will pick you up and take you to your lost Love...I will pray for you Phyllis..In fact, this morning I prayed for the entire family here...you are all so special....Rochel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rochel Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 You go "Girl"!!! I'm so proud of you...I bet that they thought Jesus had walked thru the door...You are a wonderful person Kath and many of your posts have blessed me...You have a good day...Bless you, Rochel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rochel Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Hi Ted, You have as good of a Thanksgiving that you can have also...I will be off the site for awhile so I will say good bye for now...Bless you Rochel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaKoz Posted November 26, 2009 Report Share Posted November 26, 2009 Hi Rochel, I'm actually spending a few days at the beach with my son. Couldn't face the traditional Thanksgiving. We left early and got here before noon. Had a glass of wine and then went for a walk on the beach. I wrote Brian's name in the sand. There is a song by the Glengerry Bhoys that we both loved which has a line "I want to write our names in the sand." We never did it together. I'm going back to the beach tomorrow and going to write both of our names. Right now I have some brie baking in the over and my son and I are going to have a few Sam Adams. Brian was a beer drinker -- good beer, so we will drink to and for him. The condo I rented overlooks the bay and we will sit on the balcony a nd look at the water. It's a gorgeous view. Of course, I wish he was here with me physically but I now his spirit is with us. You made me laugh about your Bob looking for deals in the meat department. Brian was always checking out what was on sale as buy one get one free. He had five children and we would have Sunday dinners so it was always a bonus if we could get something for free. I was just telling Kevin today how Brian was such a simple man who got joy out of the smallest things. He was excited to find the perfect pepper mill. He told me that he didn't care if he ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as long as he was eating them with me. I love him so much and I will miss him forever. For some reason the pain is not as intense at the beach . . . there is just a prevailing sadness. There are tears but not uncontrollable sobbing. Wish I could stay here. Be well, my friend. When do you leave for Calif.? Maybe the change will be good for you. It's hard to tell what will work and what won't work of this grief journey. Especially since what works one day doesn't necessarily work the next day. All we can do is take it one step at a time and do the best that we can. I know that you miss Bob terribly but I also know that he is right there with you. And someday we will join them and there will be a grand reunion. Hugs to you from Maryland this time. Peace, love, and blessings, Linda PS I'm wearing Brian's red Musikfest sweatshirt right now. It makes me a little sad but it is also comforting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korina Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 Hi gang, I've been off for a few days and wanted just say I wish everyone of you great people as happpy of a Thanksgiving that's possible. Adrianne and I didn't like turkey and didn't realize it til a few years ago we were sitting down to a turkey dinner and I looked over at her and said "you know I really don't like turkey" to which she replied "you know I don't either, why do we cook one every year? We sat there and had really good laugh, so every year now I will remember that time as a very special moment and hope I can still laugh about it. Best to all, Ted We always had chicken! Korina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azusaman Posted November 27, 2009 Report Share Posted November 27, 2009 We always had chicken! Korina That's what be started having also Korina..a good ol' Paula Dean recipe. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now