sunstreet Posted July 7, 2010 Report Share Posted July 7, 2010 I will not be posting for a time. I find myself feeling some anger that my love is not here now as I face surgery. She would be taking me to the hospital, she would be holding my hand till they took me to the operating room, she would be there when I woke up. She should be here now. I struggle to accept that she chose to end her life. I struggle to let myself feel angry at her for abandoning me, our life, our dreams, our love; and yet I feel angry. I feel all the support here. I am not alone. I can do this, I can face surgery on my own. I will close with an image I use some times that helps me to remember that all feeling states eventually end/change. I think of the image of the waves on the ocean, the wave being all the pain we feel and all waves eventually reach the shore and dissipate, and that wave of pain is transformed. Courage to everyone as we collectively mourn. Blessings, Sunstreet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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