Hellow To My Far Away Friends

[teny]

Hellow my far away friends I do miss some of you that are not posting any more so I think that you have recovered.I do feel better some days but I also have days that I dont find any meening in life without my love.44 months is a long time especialy for those in my family who think that life goes on without him and I can not share the pain that brings tears every time remembering the life that is gone forever.Where is the new normal I read in all grief healing books?.I do have loving children and grandchildren but no life of my own.Nobudy to share my feelings my fears my every days promblems that with the economic situation in Greece are many.Im tired I dont know a way to relax cause to relax I need a shoulder and ahug that IM missing so much.Im so sorry for all you new friends here .Where are you my old ones? how are you doing?Love from far away Teny

[LarrysGirl]

Hello Teny, its been awhile. Not too many of the group that was on when we joined post anymore. I miss hearing how they are also. Don't feel alone, I've not been able to make a new life for myself still. Yes, there are days that I function more normally, but not a day that my heart doesn't yearn for him, his smile, his voice. He was my best friend who I shared everything with and it has left a empty place inside me. You know you can always email me. We can stay in touch. So good to hear from you, take care of yourself, Love to you, Deborah

[teny]

Deborah,

thank for your replay I domt know your email. I would like to keep in touch with you.love Teny

[MartyT]

Teny, dear ~ Just click on the name of the person who posted a message, and you'll be taken to the profile page for that particular member. If the member has chosen to share his or her e-mail address, you will find it there. In this case, click on LarrysGirl and you'll be taken to Deborah's profile page. Her e-mail address is right there, under "Contact Information."

(So nice to "see" you here again, Teny ~ You know you are always welcome here ♥)

[Korina]

Teny:

It is so nice to hear from you, though your grieving continues to be so difficult. For my part, I am living my new reality because I have joy in Kailyn. But still sadness, too. Everytime I go to the playground and see all the Dads with their kids, I grieve for Kailyn, too, who won't get to play with her Dad. How am I going to explain to her when she asks. Daddy is with the angels, and watches over us; but he cannot play with you like the other Daddies. I know she is getting to the age where she understands there is a difference between mommies and daddies. She is a smart cookie, and knows her Daddy when she looks at his picture, even though she was only 4.5 months old when he died.

And my heart is always with Scott. I looked at some emails he sent me and it broke my heart. But then today, I looked at some pictures of us from a couple years ago, and I felt like nothing had changed; like he was waiting for me at home. I don't know how to explain it. Weird.

I am sure things are tough in Greece with the economy. But I pray that you will find joy in your family and grandkids.

Take care,

Korina

[Frank G]

For my part, I am living my new reality

Korina,that one line from your post is a perfect discription of what most of us must be going through.

Take care,Frank...

[LarrysGirl]

Teny, I can see you are having a hard time sending me a message. We will have to do it this way, go to your regular email and email me at thepicketline@cox.net Please try that, Deborah

[mlg]

Teny,

I am so glad you posted because I was afraid that you may be ill because I sent you a couple of emails and did not get a response. I too feel better at times but there are other times I feel that I am at square one. I have a friend who started to date because she said she can't live the rest of her life without that love and affection and caring for someone. My problem is that I don't want somebody else's love and affection I want Tom's.

I have spent the last 4 months recovering from having my knees replaced and it has given me way to much time to think.

All I can say is that God has gotten us this far and I'm sure he will guide us through the rest of the trails too,

[WendyJ]

Teny my dear sweet friend I have not gone anywhere and no I have not recovered, not sure I ever will. It is just over 3 years now, I still hurt, I still cry...some days more than others. I probably sleep more than I should at times, I think it is just depression. I had finally admitted to myself that I have been through entirely too much the last couple years, 2 of which are my Grandmother and my Mom continuing to fight her cancer. The rest I care not to mention and 1 was just a very stupid mistake on my part. I wouldn't mind meeting another special someone if that is possible there could be another one, but I do not care to date, had enough of that horrible experience. I just try to take life day by day and other than seeing family I go to work and then I go home...I feel safer there and closer to Steve. I think of you often and wonder how you are doing, so nice to hear from you my dear faraway friend.

Love Always,

Wendy

[kayc]

Teny,

How good to hear from you!!! I don't think it's so much that we've "recovered" (does one ever really 'recover'?) as we just don't know what else to say. There are a lot of new people here going through their experience together with a similar timeline...I think I feel "odd man out" anymore. (Sorry, don't know how to translate that!)

It's good to hear from you though. I, too, miss everyone that used to be on here. And I wish you a better future.

Love,

Kay

[marsha]

Hi Teny - I'm still here, though I read a good deal more than I write. Almost 25 months for me. I have flashbacks of the healthy Joe, of our life together, more than the sick Joe. It still hurts. I'm glad you posted - Hugs, Marsha

[valley]

Teny in Greece, hello!

Sept. 9th my husband will have been gone 2 years. I move forward each day, but like you........I miss him all the time. Our conversations, laughter, arguments even.....discussing our kids, my mom, what we are going to do each day. I long for him. I keep asking myself...."where are you Tom"? Sounds stupid, but still I cannot believe that big, strong man is not just around the corner and will come to me.

Yet I make plans and entertain and enjoy my friends and mow my lawns and problem solve on my own. I do business, make decisions, learn things that I never needed or really wanted to know and part of it is.....my two grown children need me to put my best foot forward and not live in sadness. I could live there. But I don't let myself. They loved their father and they cannot move forward if I do not. I have learned that. And Tom would expect that of me. I am still "in love" with Tom, it is an active feeling and has not gone away.

Like many of you I have lots of responsibilities and do my best to carry them out and do a good job. But darn.....today I was out using my weed whipper and picking raspberries. Enjoying my place. Came in the house with a cabbage from the garden and looked out my window and there was a huge brown bear. I ran out on the deck and banged some pots and pans. Nothing happened. The bear looked at me and then continue breaking my ornamental plum as it tried to get the tiniest little plums. So tomorrow I need to clean up the mess and then I plan to cut all my grapes and haul them off. They are small, but around my porch deck railings and I know that will be the next place the bear goes. So my life keeps me busy.

Is my life rich? No. Not like it was. I believe, not like it will ever be again. Because I know in my heart that Tom was my match. We clicked. We got each other. But I will move forward because it is my nature and because I am surrounded by friends who reach out to me, a mother who is 93 and needs me to be strong for her, my children need me to be a sign post for how to survive when all you want to do is surrender.

And as I say, "I am in love with Tom" and for right now, that sustains me.

Love to all you dear people,

Valley

[Daughter2010]

wow Valley...you sound a lot like my mother. She has ended up taking care of a lot of things my dad used to do. All of the things you describe I can see in her, I admire you for how you have carried on with your life. I guess all of us have to in one way or another. I just got of the phone with my mother and tonight was one of those melancholic ones, making plans for the future and I got to understand more about how she is dealing with dad's passing.

I guess for all of us, we have to remember to take it one day at a time, we need to keep going. If one day is too hard or too sad, tomorrow will be better, just put one foot in front of the other.

I am thankful I found this place, because I feel understood in my grief, it is somewhat of a comfort. Sharing our thoughts, worries, emotions, helps us cope with our situation.

I guess only the Big Man upstairs knows why He allows us to go through this process, a very painful one.

Big hug for everyone,

-L

[Maryo]

Hi Tenny,

Nice to hear from you.It has been 2 years since my Husband has been gone. The pain is a lot less.

I am looking forward to my daughter getting married and if she is blessed with children I will be happy to be a grandmother.I miss my husband every day but life didn't stop so I must keep on going.

It is so nice of you to bring us back to see how we are all coping.

Take care.

Mary Lou