rain Posted November 4, 2010 Report Share Posted November 4, 2010 I always loved that descriptive phrase from Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby, that the man was possessed of a “heightened sensitivity to the promises of life”. It struck my 16 year-old mind as poetically descriptive, moonstruck even; words that hinted of innocence and wisdom, hope and pragmatism intertwined. I find myself now at the opposite end of Fitzgerald’s pier, burdened by a heightened awareness of the certainty of loss and the literature of death. Everything I read of bereavement I respond to resoundingly, emotionally. Like that 16 year old girl, I believe that these are the first and best words ever written, and that they were written especially for me. Today, in the review section of the Times I read the words that have been banging around my head for months. Three months. Three months, six days and counting, I guess. Describing a character in his novel “The Finkler Question,” author Howard Jacobson writes of the widower Julian Libor: “But Libor — dapper, intellectual and artistic — is losing his energy for argument, fading away after the death of his wife. By all accounts, the relationship was ideal, and he’s heartbroken. ‘How do you go on living knowing that you will never again — not ever, ever, ever — see the person you have loved?” Julian wonders. “How do you survive a single hour, a single minute, a single second of that knowledge?‘” That, for me, is the definitive question; how do you go on with the loss of half your being, knowing it is gone forever? My husband and I both believed that life is fragile and death is final. We cherished the time we had together, mindful of its transience, and we never let a day go by without letting the other know how much they were loved. Now, like Libor's, my heart is broken. So the query remains. How does one survive with the knowledge that one's heart is no longer in this world? How does one live a day, an hour, a minute? I'm not sure I can. Or want to. In search of an answer, I just fade away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!Register a new account
Already have an account? Sign in here.Sign In Now