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This isn't strictly speaking a grief issue - or rather only indirectly. A week ago I told you about the hit and run driver who smashed into my car (with me in it). The insurance company says the car is basically beyond repair - or rather the repairs would cost more than what I'd get in an insurance payment. This means I'll have to buy a new car, I guess.

Does anyone have a suggestion for a new widow with no car smarts whatsoever? I need a station wagon - or at least a small station wagon - so I can put my dog in the back, and also have room to haul college kids and their stuff from home to student housing and back again. I want something safe and secure that won't collapse on the freeway.

Any ideas are welcome. Had my husband been here - this would have been his job. And unlike me, he'd probably enjoy it.

Melina (car moron)

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Unfortunately I have no advice to give you Melina - I am in the same boat myself. I need to find a new car and the thought of going to a car dealership leaves me cringing. I don't want to be taken advantage of by any slick salesmen!

I have decided to not step foot on a car lot without a knowledgable man with me. I may enlist the help of my brother in law.....he keeps asking me if there is anything he can do for me, and I may have found just the job!

Do you have any friends or family that might be able to help? Or husbands of friends that would be willing??

Good luck!!

Tammy

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Hi Melina,

I have generally made all my car decisions on my own and always got good deals at dealerships by negotiating which has a lot to do with being able to walk away if you do not like their deal, the way they are treating you, etc.

I would suggest getting the consumer reports car buying guide or subscribing online or find the magazine that had the 2011 cars in it (library?). I like their unbiased information. . Its usually at bookstores, and/or online.

I made all my decision based on their reports and especially on the cars that were rated highest for reliability. I always chose highly rated reliable cars. Reliability is top priority with me and you can search consumer reports to find these vehicles in this category. They also rate used vehicles.

My current vehicle is a 2003 Toyota Matrix (kind of a station wagon) and still going strong after 100K. One factor is choosing it was high ratings on reliability. Has never let me down. I have done nothing to it repair wise in the last year or so except new tires, I carry all kinds of large musical equipment in it, plenty of space for loading stuff, easy to drive, and its a real workhorse. Would buy a Toyota again, despite their recent problems and they sure are offering great deals, along with other manufacturers.

http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/cars/new-cars/cr-recommended/best-worst-in-car-reliability-1005/reliability-findings/reliability-findings.htm

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Subarus are also good. You don't mention the size of your dog or if you need 4WD or not, but an Impreza is good. My son also has a Baja and it is GREAT, very versatile, good gas mileage, AWD, can haul a refrigerator in the back end, or dogs, and it has nice leather seats, front and back. Toyotas also are good (providing the brakes work...a little joke here). Hondas are reliable but I haven't seen a Civic Wagon in a few years. I would strongly suggest visiting several dealerships before making a decision as well as checking out consumer reports and checking pricing on line before locking into a deal. You want to be supplied with information so they know you aren't a pushover! It is a good idea to borrow a neighbor's husband or someone in your family who is mechanical who can come with you and look it over. And do run a vin inspection report to check for prior wrecks, etc. Good luck, and try to enjoy this, it's a bit of leg work, but it can be fun buying a new car too!

Make sure you check for oil leaks, undue exhaust buildup, check the hoses to see what condition they're in...are they cracked and brittle or do they look like they've been replaced as needed? Do they have a maintenance book that shows the care the car's been given? Receipts for parts? And don't forget to check the tires...that's a good haggling point if you're going to have to replace them right away. Make sure you bring a CD and make sure the player works (mine quit and they want $375 just to look at it!).

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I had to replace the vehicle a few months after Lars passed, the repairs were costing too much. We had already talked about what we wanted, so for me I just went online and watched for the right price, mileage etc.Contrary to what a few people said about Fords being no good, my vehicle is a 2009 Ford Escape and I wouldn't give it up for a minute.

I don't think that women are still looked upon as not being able to make major decisions. If you find this happening, do as Grace suggested and walk away. If they want your business badly enough, they will try to accomodate you.

Get your sons to give their input as to what be the best car/wagon for you? If you travel in the winter in Norway you might want to consider 4x4 all wheel drive.

Try to make this an experience that you can look back on and say "Wow, I did this". It's a good feeling .

Good luck Melina, I'll be cheering you on

Lainey

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Thanks everyone for your input. Lots of ideas here. I don't have a man that can accompany me to a dealership, but do have a couple of female friends. Kayc - our dog is medium-sized, an Icelandic sheepdog.

Our oldest son has been doing research on cars - thinking of buying one soon, and says the newer Ford Focuses are supposed to be good. In the end I suppose it also depends on money. Cars are far more expensive here in Norway than they are in the states, so it's a big decision.

Glad my car moron status gave someone a chuckle - we sure need some of those.

Melina

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Melina, I thought you were our Norway friend. You probably have access to some cars that are more expensive here. I've always heard Volvos were good, safe and reliable. They're expensive here though so we never looked at them. We are a Chevrolet family, but don't know if you have access to them there. My next vehicle is going to be a hybrid SUV, or something like a Chevrolet Traverse. Something that the seats will fold down if needed to haul cargo. Sorry you have to part with your vehicle so soon though. It would be nice to shop around a bit before jumping into the decision.

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Melina, I don't know if it would be of help to you but I thought I would share what I am doing anyhow. My car is nearing 11 years old, and it is time to be thinking on another car now too. I don't have the physical strength due to my health issues to be going to many dealers looking at cars. I have hired a car broker that came recommended to me by my Rheumatologist. Basically, you tell them what your needs are, the price point, and they do all the leg work, and dealing with the car dealers, etc. For me, to put out the fee for the car broker is worth it.

I wish you luck with it Melina and I am sorry that you are having to deal with this now.

Blessings and Courage, Carol Ann

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All good ideas - thanks everyone. I'll call the insurance guy today to find out how much I get. Unfortunately, I'll be getting less because they don't know the person who hit me. It doesn't seem fair that I should have to pay out just because some idiot decides to do a runner. I know the street he came up from and I know he was driving a BMW (minus the parts I salvaged from the road), but the police say they don't have the time to check this sort of thing out. I almost feel like doing detective work and calling each and every person on that road and asking them if they have a BMW in need of repair...

Melina

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Melina, a friend of mine recently got a Ford Focus, and is very happy with it. She gets real good gas mileage. I will probably drive Mike's 99 Buick Park Avenue until it falls apart. It runs good, and still looks real good. Had some minor under the hood work done recently, by a friend of ours that owns a Auto Repair shop. I trust him very much. Also got my studded tires put on for the winter, so I guess I am set. When the times comes for another car, however, I am going to take a good look at the Ford Focus.

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

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Fords tend to not last as long, I've had some real problems with them (my Ranger is in need of it's 3rd transmission and it only has 72,000 miles!) but my daughter had an Escort that got 42 mpg...however, it only lasted 150,000 miles. Chevys are good but it'd probably cost more in Norway.

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I just wanted to share this car dealership story. I went with a friend to the local Toyota dealer. She was looking for a nice, used Corolla. The salesman took us out to the lot and we looked at some. I was commenting/asking why used cars are almost as expensive as new ones. (Toyotas do hold their value, but just to act like the skeptic). So we looked at a few. I then told the salesman 'she's looking for a white car.' The salesman showed us the car and named the price. Ouch, too much. I said to my friend, let's go, let's leave, that's too much, leave now with me. So, we started walking out the door. The salesman ran over to us and said, wait, and my friend ended up getting a really good deal. Take your time, and do not hesitate in walking away if you do not like the price. And always try to talk them down a few notches in the price. Men, in general have no poblem with this. I think this is because they do not take negotiating personally, and neither should you. Just, know the price you want to pay, and ask.

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