mfh Posted March 27, 2011 Report Share Posted March 27, 2011 This month of March has taken me by surprise. I truly did not think the first anniversary (which is today, Sunday, March 27)would be any more difficult than every other day...they are all difficult. I was wrong...not only is the anniversary difficult (I am writing this late Saturday night and will wake up to the 1st anniversary) the entire month has been riddled with increased pain, flashbacks, tears and more tears....It really blindsided me. I have cried daily since Bill died and many day before he died but this month has been incredibly difficult. A friend will go to Bill's grave with me in the morning. He is buried in a country cemetery outside of my rural town. We will then go to breakfast. And then I plan to get in my car and go for a very very long drive through our hills, alone, something we did on many Sundays. I feel like I am back at last March....the loneliness increases....the house seems more silent. Tough time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAP Posted March 27, 2011 Report Share Posted March 27, 2011 Dear mfh, Hang in there.Today will be tough, but you will be in all of our thoughts, prayers, and meditations. HAP Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lainey Posted March 27, 2011 Report Share Posted March 27, 2011 Dear mfh, You are in my thoughts, as I well remember the day of Lars' first anniversary. It was terribly hard day. I hope your drive will make you feel better, as you remember all the wonderful moments you spent with your loved one. Sending ((hugs)) your way and I hope you have a peaceful day. Lainey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Nicholas Posted March 27, 2011 Report Share Posted March 27, 2011 Be strong. Metta Nicholas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melina Posted March 27, 2011 Report Share Posted March 27, 2011 Mfh, I'll be thinking of you. I understand why this must be an extra tough time. Melina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostmyHoney Posted March 27, 2011 Report Share Posted March 27, 2011 Im sorry you have been having such a tough time this month. I truely wish there was something we could say to make it all better. All I can do is offer (((HUGS))) and wish for you to find peace and comfort in something you do today ! Rachel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted March 27, 2011 Report Share Posted March 27, 2011 We're all thinking of you today, dear one, and holding you gently in our hearts . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nats Posted March 27, 2011 Report Share Posted March 27, 2011 MFH, I will keep you in my prayers today, may God grant you comfort and help you today. NATS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
west Posted March 28, 2011 Report Share Posted March 28, 2011 I too just celebrate my husband's first anniversary. I agree the month was most difficult remembering last year at this time. It feels as if time is standing still and nothing helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted March 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2011 First of all, thanks to all for your loving support. You all know what today means or soon will and we do not walk alone. Thank you. I am blessed with many calls today, friends who reached out, went to lunch with me, went to Bill's grave with me and respected my need to call it a day at 3pm and be alone. Exhausted from it all. West, I agree with you...I feel as if I took many steps backwards this month and now have to get up, dust myself off and take baby steps back to where I was. It was a hard month for both of us...today I went to Bill's grave and left some flowers even though I know they will freeze tonight as the temps drop. I also went to lunch with a friend who gets it and then came home and crashed. I planned to take a long drive alone as that is what we did on Sundays but I was too sleepy to drive. The exhaustion of the year, the month and the day took its toll. I bet you felt the same way....I am so sorry for how hard your day was. It is a comfort to know neither of us is alone though we do not know each other. I hope you had some supportive people around you or call you at least. Starting year two feels threatening to me...like Bill's life moves further to the background...more days we will not share. But both of us will get up tomorrow and step by step move through the day...another lonely day, if I may say. May you sleep tonight. Peace, MFH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deb625 Posted March 28, 2011 Report Share Posted March 28, 2011 Thank you for sharing and I'm glad you had lots of love and support to help you through your first anniversary. It sounds like you honoured the day beautifully. Mine will be coming up in May, which doesn't seem very far off now... All the best, take care of yourself. Hugs, Deb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted March 28, 2011 Report Share Posted March 28, 2011 MFH, I'm sorry I missed seeing this in time, but I'm glad you made it through the day. I went through my 1st anniversary alone, it can be pretty rough, I guess some people were afraid to bring it up (like I'd forget it?). Hugs to you... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted March 28, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 28, 2011 Thank you. I am so sorry you went through that time alone...it is more than a day long..we both know that. I am blessed to have so many brave friends. Today does not feel any less painful...I know that. MFH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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