Death Is Nothing At All.....

[nats]

I was given this by someone and wanted to share...

NATS

Death is nothing at all

I have only slipped away into the next room

I am I and you are you

Whatever we were to each other

That we are still

Call me by my old familiar name

Speak to me in the easy way you always used

Put no difference into your tone

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed

At the little jokes we always enjoyed together

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was

Let it be spoken without effort

Without the ghost of a shadow in it

Life means all that it ever meant

It is the same as it ever was

There is absolute unbroken continuity

What is death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind

Because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you for an interval

Somewhere very near

Just around the corner

All is well.

Nothing is past; nothing is lost

One brief moment and all will be as it was before

How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again....

--------

Video version

[melina]

Thanks for sharing this - it's comforting to read...

Melina

[Lainey]

nats,

Thank you for sharing such a wonderful poem.. it brought on the tears that really needed to flow.

Lainey

[just one more hug]

Beautiful...brought on my tears also. I do feel Bill is here with me and talk to him day and night..hope I am not going off the deep end..but it comforts me. Yesterday, watching tv,I pointed out to him that the Steak and Cheese was back at SubWay again..he was so upset when they took it off the menu. Sounds crazy I know but it has only been eight weeks since I lost him after 54 years and I just feel he is still so near me. Anyone else talk like that and say those silly things??? I always talk to him before I go to sleep..when I can sleep...just like we used to talk. I am still Carol and he is still Bill and that will never change. I wear my rings and have his his wedding band on a chain around my neck...always together..just in a different way. God how I mioss those hugs!!!

[Chrissie]

Nats, thank you for that beautiful poem. It brought a comfort to me that I have been needing lately.

Carol, it has almost been 16 months for me and I talk to Tim every day and miss his hugs so much. Just the other day something happened at work (can't remember what it was) and I started to pick up the phone to call him and share it with him. I also still wear my wedding band, I have no reason to take it off. Tim was my soulmate and yes, I am going on with life, but I miss him terribly and carry him in my heart always.

This site is a wonderful place to come to. You can express your true feelings and everyone understands. I don't post much, I'm not very good with words, but I come here everyday. Take care of yourself and do whatever brings you comfort during this difficult time. Most important, let yourself grieve.

Hugs,

Chris

[nats]

Hello Everyone,

You are all so welcome, anytime I can pass something along or help someone who is grieving it makes me understand more why God has decided for me to experience this journey, I also have found that just being helpful and nice to people also give me a great sense of security now something I never had before....I cherish little things now also something I took for granted before....I do indeed feel Ruth daily as well which is somedays very hard to deal with because I can't touch and hold her....

NATS

[just one more hug]

I will come here everyday...just to feel the understanding from all who are sharing this journey. Have cried all day long...funny how it comes and goes. Just to know that I can say anything I need to and not be judged. Tonight I feel the pain so much more than yesterday...it just happens with no warning and makes me ashamed of myself for not having the faith to know Bill is in a happy place waiting for me...when all I want is for him to be here with me now to hold me and tell me as he always did....Don't worry...Don't hurry...he said it all the time.

Just a couple of weeks after Bill died I was sitting at the kitchen counter across from his empty chair and my whole body was hurting...neck. back. arms..just my entire body. I realized that I was not really breathing....but rather holding my breath for periods of time. Maybe it seemed like that helped the pain in my heart. I don't know why I was doing it. Please do not think I am crazy for what I did about it because I will do whatever it takes to get through this.

I showered, dressed and drove to the mall...a small miracle in itself since I had not ventured out alone at all since Bill's death. Got a small tattoo on my inner wrist that says..just breathe...you have no idea how that has helped. Many times, day and night, I look at that tattoo and just breathe. Who knew you could have such pain that you sometimes could actually not breathe??? I found out.

Bill's death was not from a car accident or cancer or a stroke but rather an infection called C Diff he got from a hospital stay. We had no idea until it was too late. His entire colon was destroyed. An untimely and unnessary death. Hard to deal with. They say God has a plan for all of us....and some day we will understand...til then I have not only the pain of having my life partner and best friend taken from me...but a lot of anger to deal with and no place to put it. After only eight weeks have gone by in this hell I can't imagine the rest of my life trying to deal with this...but I will do whatever it takes because that is what Bill would want me to do...Don't worry...don't hurry...one step at a time. I still want him to come back!!! It hurts so bad!!!!.

[Cheryl]

I hope this site helps you along the path. I am so sorry you lost Bill. We are all here to listen and share. Your loss is still so new and painful. I love the tatoo! It will remind you not only to breathe but will also remind you where you are traveling too. As you learn to breathe again you will find strength. Best wishes, Cheryl

[Elly57]

Nats, it's a wonderful poem. I had this read out at my husbands funeral this past week. He was not a religious person and we had an officiant over see everything. It was beautiful.

I had C Diff a few years ago. That was not a fun time at all. It has taken me nearly three years to get back to normal ish. My husband nursed me through that time, he was by my side. When my husband was diagnosed this past March with pancreatic cancer, stage 4 and decided to go to Mexico in May for alternative treatment......it worked for a while......then back home again we were entering the chemo program and he had a massive stroke. Which paralyzed the complete left side. He was still able to talk and joke and make conversation. An amazing man. We did everything together. I miss his closeness, his arms around me protecting me, he held doors open for me. He loved me so much. I wish I had said it more to him. I would climb I to bed with him at the hospice and cuddled him for hours before I had to get out for some sleep. He had so many ports in him for the pain. The nursing staff would come in every few hours to check on him. Why don't they have beds just a little bit wider for us to share. The one night I wasn't there, he fretted, and looked for me. Three weeks he was in the hospice. I was with him every night after that. I feel like I've been on over drive since March and now I don't seem to be able to hold a thought for very long.

[enna]

What you are talking about is raw grief, Elly. I am so sorry for your loss. I too liked the poem when I first saw it here on this forum. I cannot begin to tell you how much being here has helped me on my journey.

It seems to me that I am in another time and place since my Jim died. Jim's death has changed me ~ the pain never goes away but I am learning to weave it into my daily life now. The fog slowly lifts.

Anne

[Wifflesnook]

Lovely poem. I don't have the faith in God that others here do, but since my Pete died I do have the strong feeling that death didn't separate our 'souls' for want of a better word, and I talk to him, I've had a few experiences that make me think he is not gone. I can't explain these but I cling to them. Yes, Anne, we are in another time and place even if we stayed physically in our home as you and I have done. It's going to be three years on 7th November since my Pete had the stroke which destroyed our happiness (he died the following May). I have measured time differently since then. I hate to think we have been separated so long but I know in my heart we will never be separated. I love this forum. I don't know how I would have coped without being able to talk to everyone here. Jan

[kayc]

I'm glad you found comfort in the poem and were able to make use of it.

Jan, I think you have faith, maybe not "religiosity", but your faith has evolved since I've known you, it is unique and yours, and the important thing is that it works for you, and it brings you encouragement. That's the important thing!

[Wifflesnook]

Yes Kay. You are absolutely right and I'm very aware that my feelings and beliefs have changed. Pete and I were never atheists. We were agnostics if a label is necessary. We were both brought up as Christians but found ourselves unable to believe in the Christian God. However we became Pantheists for lack of a better form of belief. If Pete were still with me (well actually I beleive he is) he would have moved with me into a different spirituality. He and I can never be separated by death. I know that as well as I know anything.

[Queeniemary]

Lovely poem Nats, I remember seeing it before at some point. "Just one more Hug", it is not silly to talk to Bill, my Mike will be gone 5 years in January, and I am always talking to him. I am so very sorry for your loss of Bill, you are still in early days, and I know that raw disbelieving grief you are experiencing. You will find this is a great place to come for comfort, advice, and to vent when you need to vent. Very wise people here, some have traveled longer on this road, and it helps (or at least it does me) to listen to, and share stories here. Wishing you much comfort.

My sister who is in nursing home rehab following brain aneurysm surgery is battling c.diff right now. She was on antibiotics due to pneumonia, which destroyed her good bacteria, they tell us this is not uncommon in a nursing home or hospital setting. So sorry that your Bill's was not detected sooner.

Jan, I too love this forum. I discovered it in April, 2010 a few months after Mike died, and truly believe it and the people here saved my sanity. Made me realize that I was not alone in the way I was feeling.

QMary

[Elly57]

This was a reading we had at my husbands funeral just a few weeks ago. I found it very comforting and will always.

Thank you for posting this

Elly