Not Feeling Good Again

[Dwaynecg]

Nats,

I have had a sense of life beyond this one we are in here and now, from when I was very young. I was hit on the top of my head with a big heavy ladder when I was around that age. My mothers uncle had repaired a roof and he had brought the big ladder down onto a back porch roof. Then as he was coming down the short ladder off the porch. He lost his grip on the big ladder and it fell and hit me right on top of the head as I sat in they grass watching him work. I was out cold. Everyone thought I was dead. I remember, looking down on all the family around me lying on a couch. Then I woke up with a bad headache. Then again at this same farm in Loveland Colorado, it was winter, my 4 brothers and I were out behind the barn playing on the frozen small river. Mom called us in for supper. My 4 brothers took off and as I started off the ice it broke under me and I was in fast moving ice cold water under the ice. Just when I was about out of breath, the hole I fell through appeared before me and it was like a big giant hand help pull me out. I ran to the house so fast and so cold, I was blue. But no one believed me that someone helped me out, because everyone was in the house. So from then on I knew there is something bigger and more powerful than I. I was given a small bible by a friend in high school. As I read it I became to understand that it was the hand of God who had, saved me all those years before.

I know and have always said it was God that brought me to Pauline, and her to I. After all She was born and raised in Fall River MA. I was born and raised in Colorado. The date we met the heavens opened up and it poured rain heavy all morning long. As my friend that worked with me headed back to Abilene. KS. We got to our turn on old highway US 40, in the town of Chapman around noon time, because it was to wet to work. Dave asked if I wanted to have a beer 3.2 at that, was all that was served in bars in KS at that time, and shoot some pool at a small place called Pop's Place. As I walked in and sat at the bar there was Pauline. We talked for hours. Dave had to call for a ride home. Again it was the hand of God that brought us together. Because He knew she would need someone special in her life, to love and care for her as, God knew Pauline would become ill with MS and no one else would be there for her. As it turned out that is what happened. Even her own family, her Father, Brother, and older Sister never believed she had MS until about a year and a half before she passed. The MS was first seen by her eye Doctor in her right eye in 1987, but it still took 5 more year for the final diagnoses to confirm MS. We were always had very deep Christian beliefs. Mine has only deepened so much more, after she passed on into God's Kingdom. Only through Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior that the flame that started burning in me about the second week of June. Then When God gave me the gift of seeing Pauline's face so Happy and Healthy on her fifth month anniversary of her passing, that the flame turned into that roaring blaze. Even though I have lost this summer due to many illness, I could have just sat back and wallowed in my grief and pain and sickness, I made a choice not to do that. By the power of prayer and my deep faith in God and Christ that They have lifted me on high. No one or anything will keep me down again. I will and am getting better every day, and by the end of the month I will be starting my nursing school.

Nats I would love to sit and have, coffee with you. My brother in Christ. You had an amazing experience with Ruth and the butterflies. Trust in that and build on they joy and warmth you felt and I pray still feel, because that is a true gift from God, to deepen your heart and soul, that Ruth will always be with you and Brenda, to he guide you into and through your new life.

God Bless

Dwayne

[Dwaynecg]

UPDATE, Hi Everyone,

Today I got my final, results for the C-DIFF and, I am FREE and CLEAR.

On the other hand I called the Career Center, I have to go in tomorrow and re file my application for my schooling to become a nurse. The last 2 weeks they ran out of money. I will meet with my counselor and set up a meeting with another counselor who handles the schooling part. She did tell me I have, nothing to worried about, because it is a good time with the new funding coming in and getting my application in right away. I will get the funding again. It is the right time now that I am finally HEALTHY. it has been a long summer.

I also have all 12 songs down that we will sing in October, but only 2 more practices between now and then. I am very HAPPY with myself and the goals I set and have reached. I know I will be in nursing school sometime in October.

Thank you all for your prayers and support through all my tough times I had this summer. I feel them all. This is an amazing place to be, after such a greatest loss of my life.

God Bless, each and everyone of you on here

Dwayne

[ksbeachbum]

That is GREAT news Dwayne. I'm so happy for you. Keep marching forward, you are an inspiration to all of us.

Hugs

Becky

[MartyT]

Dwayne, I'm feeling very happy right now, and I think it's all your fault

[mfh]

Dwayne,

I am celebrating with you. What great news....it is all working out and you have been patient for so long and hopeful. Congratulations!

Mary

[Dwaynecg]

Thank you, Becky, Marty, and Mary,

Yes it has been a long time coming, and a lot or hard work. I have been walking, I thought a little over a mile, yesterday I drove my route, and it is 1.7 miles. Yesterday I walked it in 25.29 minutes. When I started last spring it took close to an hour, of course I did not realize my body was sick at that time. I am feeling good and strong.

Marty T, you make me laugh, I thank all of you for your kindness, your prayers, and all your warm thoughts all have sent my way. It really does help pull you back up and on your feet to continue into my new life.

That is what Pauline wanted for me. We talked many times about after she passed. I will always miss everything about hr and our life together, but I know she is right here watching my type this out, to make sure I do not make any mistakes in my spelling and grammar.

God Bless. Becky and Mary my dear friends, I pray you find the peace abd strength I have been given.

Marty you keep working at what you do so well, to lead us all through our own greif. You do it so well.

Dwayne

[Earl C]

Good work, Dwayne, and I totally believe that Pauline is watching over you. I've had signs with my own health that Wanda is still right with me in everything I do. You do have wonderful support here, and as you say, Marty is a leader of women/men who are in this predicament without ever signing up to do this.

We'll pray that everything works out, and the re-application just flies through now. You're really looking forward to this, I can tell, and I think the sooner it starts working out the better.

Anyway, they say that persistence is the key to life, and you certainly have that quality, along with the love of your wonderful person!!

Keep going, never stop, your persistence is showing. I see Becky and Mary and Nats, all of us, appreciating how hard you've worked at this.

Earl C

[Dwaynecg]

Dear Earl,

As being the smallest, and shortest, in my family, I always had to fight hard than my brothers, to get what I wanted. I never give up when I put my mind into focus on what I want to do or get done. You are right persistence does pay off. I will get into school around the second or most likely the third week of October. Because, once I meet with the case worker who takes care of getting the funding for the further education at the Career Center, the last time it took about a week to get a proved. I am way ahead of most all the others because I have already done my testing at the Career Center, and scored a 94 on the test. The testing at the 2 schools I have to choose from I scored 100 at the first school, and a 96 at the second school. I feel really good that I know Pauline is by my side helping me with my life and anything I do. I was talking with a friend yesterday, and mentioned, that when I start school I may have to get a part time job, to help pay for gas and expense of going to school. He told me not to worry, that when the time comes he would loan me money so I can concentrate on my studies full time, and not have to worry about the money part. I broke out in tears at his kindness he has shown me. I told him I will wait and see how things go. It is a relief to know that the money is there if or when I may or may not need it. GOD is GREAT, He looks after me every day. I am Blessed to have such a LOVING GOD and a FORGIVING GOD guiding me as I walk this new path that none of us wanted to walk. The difference is I know I am not alone on my new path of life.

God Bless

Dwayne

[kayc]

Dwayne, Evidently that fighting for everything when you were young paid off, for you still have to and that is an asset that has come in handy! BTW, thank you for your phone call, I'm glad I was able to reach you when I tried you back. It always lifts my spirits to talk with you, you are so uplifting and encouraging even when you have had such a uphill struggle!

Kay

[Dwaynecg]

Dear Kay,

That is what I do best, Is to help, and try to make a person find that peace inside again. It doesn't mean that you will forget, because you never do. I only means that with a lot of hard and positive work and thinking in your mind to bring it back into that peace.

All the jobs I have every worked I have always been one to lead, the first to get started, the first, to motivated even when the work was hard to get done, the first to help others with there work. My last job of 27 years, the owner brought his brother in-law in to learn my job. I worked with that man for 4 years he never took note, I always did, because I cannot remember everything about all the electronics I to deal with every day. Before any of the crew came in I was already there for at least an hour checking every machine the electronics programs on all the equipment on each machine to make sure no one change any settings, that could happen often. All this time he wasted away reading the paper. When the crew came in. I treated them all with respect and the way I would want to be treated. Again he did not he yelled, an hounded the all the time. After I would leave around 12- 1 PM, then the guys would tell me he would go back to reading the paper again, and not try to fix any problem that might come up, he would tell them that Dwayne will fix in the morning, mean while a machine would sit idle and not produce about 120,000 pieces lost from production. I could ask my crew to do anything, and they would, because of the respect I gave them they had it for me also.

Now I have my new life and new opportunities, I will become a nurse , nothing can, or will stop me now.

Kay I really enjoy our talks, I wish others on here would take the opportunity and call me, I can lift them up also.

God Bless, you Kay, remember go to the Career Center the next time you are in town. It may be a surprise to you that God has this job just waiting for you to find it there.

Love Dwayne