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The Elephant In The Room


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The Elephant in the Room

There's an elephant in the room.

It's large and squatting, so it's hard to get round it.

Yet we squeeze by with, "How are you?" and "I'm fine,"

And a thousand other formsof trivial chatter.

We talk about the weather. We talk about work.

We talk about everything else, except that elephant in the room.

We all know it's there.

We're thinking about the elephant as we talk together.

It's constantly on our minds. For, you see, it is a very largeelephant.

It has hurt us all.

But we don't talk about the elephant in the room.

Oh, please say his (her) name.

Oh, please, say his (her) name again.

Oh please, talk about the elephant in the room.

For if we talk about his (her) death,

Perhaps we can talk about his (her) life.

Can I say his (her) name to you and not have you look away?

For if I cannot, then you are leaving me………

alone……..

in a room…..

With an elephant…..

From Facebook: Esdeer---who got Author: Terry Kettering's permission.

(Courtesy of "Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow"

TCF Mandurah Chapter newsletter)

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Very beautifully written. I have been fortunate in that my family and friends do not avoid talking about George. I do remember my mom commenting years ago that she liked talking with me because I would bring up Daddy (he's been gone nearly 30 years now) and it let her know someone else thought of him and missed him too. Now I know how she feels.

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I believe he is in all of our homes in some way shape or form. The trick is learning how to acknowledge the presence and deal with it....which is what we are all about here. :) Mary

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Great post. I guess I've been lucky that generally people haven't done this to me either but can appreciate the frustration for those who experience it. In fact I've probably done it myself in the past, although not meaning to, or thinking I shouldn't have. I know better now.

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Beautiful, Mary...thank you for sharing. I have been fortunate in that Mike is mentioned almost everytime I am with someone. Especially our theatre group. It starts..."Well do you remember when Mike......, or you know what Mike would have done....We have an annual theatre awards show, recognizing the plays and performances from the past year. A part of that awards show is now the E. Michael Bishop Award for Outstanding Production of the year. It is given to the director of the production that the awards committee considers most outstanding for the year. I am honored each year to be the one to give that award.

He was a large part of that group, and they are not forgetting him. My family is pretty good, but sometimes there is a small elephant in the room with us.

I think it is just hard for some people, they are afraid that they will upset you, or make you cry, or something. What they don't realize is that you just love to hear his name, and have memories brought up, and to know that others remember him also.

I know I will never forget, I just want no one to forget!

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

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they are afraid that they will upset you, or make you cry, or something. What they don't realize is that you just love to hear his name, and have memories brought up, and to know that others remember him also.

That's so true!

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  • 2 weeks later...

The Elephant in the Room has appeared in many places over the years. It was written by Terry Kettering and was originally published in Bereavement Magazine 12 years ago. It was later reprinted and appeared in Ann Landers' syndicated newspaper column on February 12, 2000. (I first saw it when I read it that day in The Arizona Republic, and it's been on my website's Comfort for Grieving Hearts page ever since.)

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Would you please send the FB page where you found this?

Thank you,

Jeramiah's Mimi

In addition to the information posted by Marty, I posted this after finding it on Stepping through Grief on Facebook

posted by Esdeer on feb 15.

Mary

Edited by MartyT
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