Looking For The Positives

[feralfae]

So glad to hear you had a good day Harry, and I hope you do sleep well and soon.

*<twinkles>*

fae

[mfh]

Harry, I am so glad the day went well and I do so know the emptiness of the house when you return. No one to share the day with...no one to curl up with...I am so very sorry.

fae, I first learned about the gin and raisins on the People's Pharmacy on public radio. Here is a link for more info. It seems to work well for people and certainly can not hurt and Kay is living proof.

http://www.peoplespharmacy.com/build/mt-search.cgi?IncludeBlogs=1&limit=20&search=gin+and+raisins

and yes, I saw the Missoula tea at Montana. I just ran out yesterday but until Maya sells her shop, I will get it there and then transfer over. Thanks so much.

Mary

[kayc]

fae,

No I don't have a website...I like making the cards, not the business end of it...too much like work! Perhaps someday when I retire and have more time...part of my problem is I'm horrible at picture taking...maybe if I took a photography class it'd help. My son's given me some pointers but when I get behind the camera, it's sure to not work!

At least I got them all stamped "handmade" on the back, matched up with envelopes, and stuck in clear jackets, and initialed the jackets so the seller would know whose they were, and taken down to the shop. It's a little place that sells lattes and teas, bagels and sandwiches, etc. and has handcrafted articles throughout the place, on consignment.

[mfh]

Kay, it sounds like you need photos for your cards. If you go to rf123.com you can get many photos for $1 or $2 each...download and print. I know it can add up but just thought I would mention the site as it is loaded with photos and graphics. I pay for several at a time and used the site a lot for the publication I published when I needed graphics. Just fyi

And I love buying hand made cards from little places....instead of Hallmark cards that are typically all the same in many instances. Though I do like some of them also.

Peace

Mary

[kayc]

It's not worth it, by the time you pay for the supplies, listing/selling/paypal fees, photos, shipping, packaging, you're in the hole! The competition is too great to charge much. Mine are retailing for $3 and she's charging 30% for consignment so at least I don't have all of the little fees that add up. I tried on Etsy and lost $.

[mfh]

Makes sense to me, Kay. It all adds up. Mary

[Queeniemary]

Glad your day went well Harry....I thought he looked like Ben also....we had lots of fun attaching the wig to the top of his head. He was pretty bald anyway, so he just shaved it, and we used spirit gum to glue the wig around the edges.....laughed a lot.

I have heard of the raisin and gin, never tried it, but may try it now. My hands hurt all the time!

Got a bit of unsettling news today. Three weeks ago my eye doctor discovered my pressure on left eye had gone up. I have glaucoma. He put me on new drops, at night. Checked again today, and pressure has not changed..so now I will be using old drops in morning and new drops in night. See him again in two weeks. Do not know what is next if this does not work. I have made arrangements to have my cataract surgery in Nov. and Dec., ready to get that done, having trouble reading road signs even in the daytime now.

Hope all are having a pretty good Monday.

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

[feralfae]

Q. Mary,

Thank you, yes, so far ,so good for Monday here.

I think we all probably will appreciate Kay's recipe for the raisins and gin. I have it on my "to do" list.

I am so sorry to hear about your eye pressure. I know marijuana is used to treat Glaucoma, but I do not know if it is smoked, eaten, used as a tincture, or what. Maybe one of the herbalists here knows more about it. We used MM to let Doug eat and enjoy his food, and to keep it with him. It was what kept him going through all the chemo so he did not starve, as many chemo patients do. The MM worked wonderfully, but I have not experimented with it for other ailments. And a dear friend here who worked at the dispensary in Billings, I think it was, bred up a strain just for Doug's chemo cocktail and diagnosis. Anyway, it might be worth checking out as an alternative to corporate pharmacology or procedures.

I know there are also Vedic treatments for glaucoma, but I don't know what those are, either. I will ask SSK when she gets back to civilization, as they are presently kayaking off the coast west of Valdez, I think. Last time her cell worked, they were grilling fresh salmon over a fire on a beach.

So, we will get you through this eye thing. You will see better than you remember seeing before. You and Mary are now officially on my "eye watch" list. *<twinkles>*

There is a thunderstorm coming in, so I am going to turn off the Mac and go read a book for a while. I am retired for the day, checks all signed. It has been a very good Monday.

*<twinkles>*

fae

[enna]

I'm doing pretty good, also. And I agree with fae that now we have two people to look out for as they face surgeries on their eyes!

I was wondering if marijuana works on heart failure!

Today it is already 108 degrees here in the Phoenix area...I am really bummed because I can't get in the water for three weeks!!

I am glad all checks are written, fae - well, we don't know about Mary yet...she has a way of putting things off. I do all of my banking online and can't remember the last time I wrote a paper check.

I received a call from my grief counselor about an hour before she was due to come over - one of her dogs got into something and he was bleeding so she was off to the vet - I haven't heard how her pooch is doing - she said she'll call after 4:00 PM Arizona time.

Actually I was sort of glad she had to cancel until next week - a few more days to think about our final farewell. I hope that is 'normal' because if it isn't, I'm in trouble!!

I hope you are resting, Harry. The picnic sounded like a lot of fun yet a lot of work. I also hate, hate the word cancer. Will it ever be gone during our lifetimes? I doubt it.

Anyone else notice how our 'gentle leader' added a message for us today. She has her ways in keeping an eye on all of us.

Today is a good day for me, also. Anne

[mfh]

Got a bit of unsettling news today. Three weeks ago my eye doctor discovered my pressure on left eye had gone up. I have glaucoma. He put me on new drops, at night. Checked again today, and pressure has not changed..so now I will be using old drops in morning and new drops in night. See him again in two weeks. Do not know what is next if this does not work. I have made arrangements to have my cataract surgery in Nov. and Dec., ready to get that done, having trouble reading road signs even in the daytime now.

Oh, Mary, I am sorry you did not get good news at eye doc's. I know you are scared and I am here for you. We shall get through all this together and hopefully come out the other side of it with good vision and stabilized glaucoma. Do let me know what the new drops do for you. ..or rather the new doses. You have my phone number...feel free to use it. I am pretty calm considering that I am 15 days from surgery. I am feeling more hopeful than not. My MD told me to tell the anesthesiologist that I want to be snowed....so for the worst of it..I will be in lala land...So that is mode one..hopeful and sort of calm. Then there is mode 2...terrified...and back and forth I go...but more calm than terrified so far. We will have a long talk after my first surgery so I can fill you in on what happens...etc. And yes, I have your phone number also. When do you see the doc again?

Mary

[mfh]

I think we all probably will appreciate Kay's recipe for the raisins and gin. I have it on my "to do" list.

So, we will get you through this eye thing. You will see better than you remember seeing before. You and Mary are now officially on my "eye watch" list.

There is a thunderstorm coming in, so I am going to turn off the Mac and go read a book for a while. I am retired for the day, checks all signed. It has been a very good Monday.

The raisin/gin thing is to soak yellow (gold) raisins in gin until the gin is soaked up or evaporated...cover the raisins with it. Once the gin has been soaked up...eat 9 per day. QMary, it might help your hand pain. I have that also...part of my osteo and ra.... Thanks, fae for putting us on the eye watch list.

It has been another interesting day. A delightful 3 hour breakfast here in the calm and quiet of our home. Then, I actually DID get the bills paid and went to the bank. It was 108 in my car when I got in. I took Bentley to the bank with me after cooling the car, drive through only, but we came home very quickly. The humidity is foreboding. I just returned from volunteering at the food pantry and there was a low count of families today...just so hot and humid and the mosquitoes are thriving but the gnats are worse. My friend is camping nearby at a state park and she emailed me and said the gnats were up her nose, in her throat..that it was raining gnats....NOT for me. I am no camper unless a comfortable motel is included at the end of a hike.

Home for the evening now. Easy day tomorrow. Going to do a painting over that I did on Sunday...room for improvement. I really like what I did but I want to make some changes. If it is presentable, I will share. IF.....

fae...I have one word for you...REST.

anne...so glad you got past the disappointment of Julie not coming and enjoyed the opportunity.

Kay...what about the washing machine?

Harry...REST

QMary....we will get through this.

Peace to all of you.

Mary

[Dwaynecg]

Hi Everyone,

Anne, while I think marijuana could help with any pain you may have. I do not think the smoke would do you any good. It is a double edge sword.
I just wanted to check in and let everyone know I am doing fine. Getting around 42-43 hours a week now, mostly in the ER at night. I am so amazed who I was given this gift, to take a person who has OD on something, and tears come flowing out. I tell them MY story and how I got were I am at, and it could be me in that bed, but Someone had other plans for me. I pray for them and with them.They tell me I give them HOPE!

I Love you all very much, and miss my time on here. Harry it was a cooker on Sunday, but I was working after church. I wish you well my friend, and someday that house will not feel empty anymore.

Kay I love you and will call you soon. I miss our calls. Take care.

God Bless,
Dwayne

[Queeniemary]

Fae, thank you for having both of us Marys on the eye watch list. Nothing to me is more frightening than thinking about something going wrong with eyes. It is good to know that we have the support. Mary's cataract surgery is more serious than mine will be, but she has lots of confidence in her surgeon, and will be in lala land, so we will all think positive thoughts.

Anne, I too do all my banking on line, rarely write a check anymore. Our great grands will never probably write one.....and yes I noticed Marty's message yesterday...our orders!

Fae, I have heard that marijuana is good for glaucoma, however, Arkansas is not a state that allows medical marijuana. May have to move....lol.(or find some friends that live out in the boonies)

Mary I see the doctor again in two weeks, about the time of your 1st surgery. I know you are anxious, anyone would be. I am, for myself, and my problems are not nearly as serious as yours. We will get through this...I love that, the Marys together!!!

Mary (Queenmary) in Arkansas

[kayc]

Dwayne, so good to hear from you, and I've really missed our phone calls! I know you're busy though and that's as it should be. Yes I remember how ill you were, and now here you are on the other side of the fence, helping sick people!

Mary, I'm sorry you are having eye trouble too...I know what that's like, I don't see well out of my left eye and it's hard to read road signs. They said they're "keeping an eye on it", whatever that means, since they only see me annually. It took me eight trips to the eye doctor for my glasses last time and they never were right, I just gave up. Have something starting. They're probably waiting for me to lose insurance before they decide to do surgery. Please let us know how the new drops work...

Hmmm, I'm not interested in smoking marijuana (have Asthma and Allergies) so if that's prescribed, I hope it's in another form. They give the dispensaries such a hard time I'm not sure how people who need it can get it! I don't have a green thumb so growing it is out, it'd probably just get my cats high anyway (or put them to sleep).

The washing machine repairman was going to come last night or tonight (since he didn't call or show last night, I assume tonight), here's hoping it isn't too big a deal.

I don't like counting raisins, besides some are big and some are small, do they mean big ones or small ones? (I'm overly analytical)...so I use an iced tea spoon, which is smaller than a teaspoon...it holds about nine average raisins. Once it's steeped for a couple of months (they say at least two weeks but it still tastes nasty then, unless you LIKE gin...I do not) the "liquid" in there doesn't taste too vile, in fact, it's almost pleasant, it definitely takes on the taste of the raisins. Just make sure it's GOLDEN raisins, the other kind don't work. Oh and don't waste your money on a $25 bottle of gin, the $4 bottle works just as well and it doesn't really help the taste much to spend the additional $...I tried that, hoping.

[mfh]

Queen Mary, I am with you on this eye journey we find ourselves on. I don't know if my situation is more serious than yours. Who is to know. The fact is you and I are both facing scary situations with our eyes and we are anxious about it and there is an outside risk to our vision..or inside...who knows that either. I am nervous. I had a massage today and then had to drive for about an hour round trip and cried all the way up and all the way back....missing Bill so much. I know it is tied to these surgeries and the massage tends to "loosen" my feelings resulting in some tears now. I go up and down. Calm to very frightened and back again. We will keep in touch.

[kayc]

My sweet Marys (both of you), it breaks my heart to think of your facing this seemingly alone. I know all too well how hard it is to face those hard places without our spouse by our side, or "having our back". Just know they are rooting for you, cheering you on, and have not left your side. They may not be able to talk to you like they used to, but oh they are there supporting you in the only ways they can, even now. It is times like these when I wish I could once again rest in the "abandonment to divine providence", knowing all is in His hands and for my good. I do miss that part of my faith, but the realist in me cries it is not that simple! I do know, however, that many prayers are going up for you both and will continue and you are surrounded by all of our love here, as fae puts it, in this tribe.

[mfh]

My sweet Marys (both of you), it breaks my heart to think of your facing this seemingly alone. I know all too well how hard it is to face those hard places without our spouse by our side, or "having our back". Just know they are rooting for you, cheering you on, and have not left your side. They may not be able to talk to you like they used to, but oh they are there supporting you in the only ways they can, even now. It is times like these when I wish I could once again rest in the "abandonment to divine providence", knowing all is in His hands and for my good. I do miss that part of my faith, but the realist in me cries it is not that simple! I do know, however, that many prayers are going up for you both and will continue and you are surrounded by all of our love here, as fae puts it, in this tribe.

Kay, thank you. I think the part of this whole surgery thing that is the toughest is that Bill is not here for and with me. I know that I am at risk in this surgery...with vision but it would be so much easier if he were waiting before and after. I do go into almost everything I do with a certain sense of trust and abandonment. I know that what will be will be and I WILL deal with it and then the huma part of me comes to the surface and fear takes over for a while until it subsides for the next wave.

[DeeU]

Mary, It is so true that when we are ill or facing surgery, we feel more vulnerable and want comfort and security from those closest to us. In your case, from your beloved Bill. I am glad you expressed this as it will help others know that this is normal. And I agree that often a massage will release not only muscle tension but also emotions. A good release, yet often, initially, fatiguing. Warmly, Dee

[mfh]

Yes, Dee, I have seen the pattern...when the challenges arise I want to reach for the person who shared them for so many years. And because I already feel vulnerable, it becomes more difficult to know Bill is not here physically. Thank you for your kind outreach. I agree...the release of feelings that follows a massage and in my case, happens during my massage also...is fatiguing but I find that the tears heal...I always feel better after a good cry...release...even one that seems to last and last. Thank you for reaching out. Peace to your heart, Mary

[kayc]

So many secondary losses.,..

[Queeniemary]

I had not even thought about this until now, Mike was with me for any other surgery that I had in the last 25 years....this will be the first major one that I face alone (I don't consider my toe surgery this winter major). The last major surgery was 2 days before he died, and he was with me for the surgery, and went home that evening (1 1/2 hrs away) to care for dogs, and I never saw him again. He was always there for me, and I miss that so much. My friend Dana, who lost her husband about 9 months before I lost Mike has just become engaged. Not sure how I feel about it. She is early 50s, and seems happy. I am not very fond of him, but guess I can learn, I definitely want her still in my life. He is a total opposite to Morris, he is loud and always wants to be center of attention. Morris was one of the sweetest, kindest men that I ever knew. Everyone loved him. No one likes Michael......but they say love is blind.

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

[kayc]

Mary,

Perhaps you can see your friend alone for lunch, etc. We don't have to like each other's spouses. My sister has a very obnoxious husband that none of us want to be around, we try to see him as little as possible so we take her out, etc.

[mfh]

I had not even thought about this until now, Mike was with me for any other surgery that I had in the last 25 years....this will be the first major one that I face alone (I don't consider my toe surgery this winter major). The last major surgery was 2 days before he died, and he was with me for the surgery, and went home that evening (1 1/2 hrs away) to care for dogs, and I never saw him again. He was always there for me, and I miss that so much. My friend Dana, who lost her husband about 9 months before I lost Mike has just become engaged. Not sure how I feel about it. She is early 50s, and seems happy. I am not very fond of him, but guess I can learn, I definitely want her still in my life. He is a total opposite to Morris, he is loud and always wants to be center of attention. Morris was one of the sweetest, kindest men that I ever knew. Everyone loved him. No one likes Michael......but they say love is blind.

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

Mary, I do know how you feel about this being a first surgery without our beloveds as we now undergo surgery that is frightening both of us. I have not had surgeries, except a D&C a long time ago which I discount, but I certainly have dealt with medical issues and other big life events and this will be the first big event I have to deal with alone. I do understand that. I also think that your last surgery was so filled with trauma...i.e. Mike leaving afterwards to take care of the dogs and you never saw him again. You were already in the hospital and had just undergone surgery only to learn that he has died. So not only is the thought of your eye surgery frightening alone or not and the anticipation of it tough as it is for anyone but it has to be bringing up the memories of learning that Mike has died and you were not able to be there and it was shocking if not traumatic. It is a double edged sword now, I would think.

I am sorry that this situation with your friend Dana is as it is. I would think that feels like another loss...the loss of freedom to just relax and enjoy her and her husband and maybe always having to work around him in order to enjoy your friend. These losses matter to us who have lost so much, I think. This happened when my friend's first husband died and later, not too long either, she remarried someone Bill and I could hardly be with. It changed things a lot. And we could see things that were difficult if not impossible to discuss. It is a loss.

Mary

[feralfae]

I had not even thought about this until now, Mike was with me for any other surgery that I had in the last 25 years....this will be the first major one that I face alone (I don't consider my toe surgery this winter major).

My friend Dana, who lost her husband about 9 months before I lost Mike has just become engaged. Not sure how I feel about it. She is early 50s, and seems happy. I am not very fond of him, but guess I can learn, I definitely want her still in my life. .but they say love is blind.

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

Oh, (Queeniemary) Mary,

This is truly, as other Mary said, a double-edged sword for you emotionally. We are all here for you, and will be checking in often. I really want to start an EYE HEALTH thread, but since my eyes are fine right now, I'll just look around here for updates.

Both you Marys, I think it is so good that you are here for each other, giving support and sharing this time. "Neighborhood" has a whole new meaning these days.

Ah, one of my dearest friends was engaged to a chap No One could stand to be around, but we were all too scared to say anything because she seemed so wonderfully happy. It lasted three months. She said later that she wished we had all gone through with our silly plan to kidnap her and hide her in the Yellowstone until after the wedding date. But now she is married to a wonderful man who loves her, and even cooks.

All right you two Marys, you are going to come through this wonderfully, and we are all here, singing happy songs and prayers for you both.

*<twinkles>*

fae

[MartyT]

You've said it, Fae, and very well too ♥