Looking For The Positives

[HAP]

Amen.

[Wifflesnook]

You speak for us all Anne

[HAP]

Dear friends,

On another note entirely, I am two days into building my groundhog defenses and have only had to improvise a couple of times. I am taking pictures as I go--and once I figure out how to get them off the camera and into the computer, I will post them.

Of course no sooner do I start working on this than the groundhog vanishes. Another part of the project was filling in his hole--which I figured was a pointless operation since the last time I filled one he just dug it back out the next day. No sign of the varmint yesterday or today--and no fresh digging either.

Tomorrow I strip off the sod around the garden--and If I have time I will start the demolition for my under the deck retreat if my legs hold up and I get the sod removed from around the garden done quickly enough that I have tome to do so before the sod-kicker has to be back at the rental place.

The positive medical news from both Shannon and Mary really is uplifting tonight.

Be well, all of you.

Peace,

Harry

[kayc]

Does your camera have a memory card? Mine, you push it in and it ejects, then you put it into your computer's slot. Before you remove it from the computer, make sure you right click on that drive to eject it and when it says it's ready, then you remove it, otherwise you can damage the drive and/or card.

[HAP]

Dear Kay,

It uses a cable that runs from the computer to the camera. It's more a matter of finding the time and fighting through the protocols than anything else. I miss film--it I understood.

I finished phase 3 this morning--and started the under-the-deck project since I had to rent the tool I needed and had the time on the clock left to get that done. I sill have lots of excavating to do before I can put the fence posts in and hang the fence.

Have to run off to return the sod-kicker to the rental place.

But first, Mary's news is wonderful and all the positive any of us can imagine for today.

Peace,

Harry

[mfh]

Jan dear,

I know today is yours and Pete's 51st wedding anniversary and I can only imagine the memories that are flooding your heart and mind today....so many happy moments (and tough ones, too)...and as blessed as we know we were to have such incredible men in our lives loving and cherishing us for so many years...that very reality makes these days incredibly bittersweet...so much to miss and so much to cherish.

I am thinking of you today....I know you will be lighting a candle and having a glass of wine as you remember (re-member i.e. put together the parts and pieces again). Thinking of you, with love, Mary

[kayc]

Jan,

I know today your thoughts are full...perhaps too full to come here, but if you do, I hope you know we've been thinking of you this week and I hope today brings you loving thoughts of you and Pete's life together and the everlasting love that remains.

This has been absolutely one of my best weekends in a very long time! Fri. morning a friend invited me to breakfast so I hurriedly cleaned my house and went. Then I was invited to a "tea party" at another friend's, and I enjoyed that. Then my son and DIL invited me to dinner at her mother's, so my daughter and I joined them. Then we met my family for dessert at leg one of our Family Reunion, and I drove home, getting home just before 11 pm. Saturday I picked up my sister and we drove to leg two of our Family Reunion, at Armitage Park in Eugene, a very beautiful park on the outskirts of the city...surrounded by beautiful green trees and the river. There I met and spent time with cousins I'm just getting to know on FB and Aunts & Uncles I have not seen in up to 44 years! One of my sisters brought my mom to Friday night's dessert, and although she didn't understand what was going on or know anyone, she was smiling big and enjoying herself. She kept telling my Aunt Sue "You look familiar!" and Sue would tell her, "I am your younger sister, Sue!" and she'd reply, "Oh, do I have have a sister, Sue?" Then two minutes later it would all replay itself.

I had the most amazing time getting to know my cousins, one had driven 15 hours straight to be there. I look forward to getting to know them better.

My kids, of course, didn't know anyone except their aunts and uncles, but they patiently humored us with their presence.

[MartyT]

Your family weekend sounds wonderful, Kay, and I'm so happy for you! It's about time you had a weekend like that! ♥

[Wifflesnook]

Dear friends

Yes this is our 51st wedding anniversary. We didn't quite make 50 together. I've had our daughter and two grand daughters staying with me since Wednesday and today I drove them back so I'm not at home. Going back tomorrow. I'm so lucky to have a loving daughter who gave me a chance to shed tears tonight with her. I told her how hard it is to imagine Pete near me. Sometimes it's as though he never existed. I know you will all know this feeling. And I find myself feeling what I could almost call guilt except it isn't, because I am functioning at all. I'm still terrified of letting myself fully feel the pain. Rainie said her Dad would think it was typical of me. I'm still very confused as to how I feel. My grief does not express itself in tears usually, because I'm so frightened I would never never stop. If it were not for being needed so much by my little family I would think my life not worth living. But I am needed. So I'm carrying on. And I'm glad she gave me the chance to release some tears tonight.

And I told her that this forum is my life line. It truly is. Thank you. Jan

[KarenK]

Just a bit of silliness here. I didn't want to hijack Boogieman's post about baking brownies.

After I read his post, I remembered I had a very old box of those frozen premade chocolate chip cookies that you buy from kid's school fundraisers. This stuff has to be at least 6 years old. So I got a "wild hair" and decided to bake some. Not too bad when they were warm, but now I have a container of chocolate chip rocks. Can you tell I don't cook much?

Which brings to mind the time that my son called me at work. He was 9 years old & alone for a few hours until his dad got home. Now this was a very resourceful kid. He said "Mommy, guess what? I'm baking cookies." I calmly asked him what he did & he said that he had read the instructions, cut the refrigerated cookies up, put them on a pan, & put them in the oven, but they weren't getting done. He told me they'd been in there for 30 minutes. I asked him if he had preheated the oven, and he said "What's that mean?' At age 9, I had never taught him the first thing about cooking. Those were some of the hardest cookies I've ever eaten in my life. LOL

This is my Science major who does Calculus in his head and could rebuild a complete engine at age 16, but I don't think he'll ever become a chef.

Karen

Jan,

I apologize for tromping on your post. You must have been typing as I was. I'm so glad you got to spend this time with your daughter. I'm sure each of us has felt that some of our worth is lost, or the never ending question of why I'm still here, when he/she is not. I just know our spouses would want us to carry on and do the best we can for ourselves and others.

Take care,

Karen

[enna]

It sounds like your reunion was fun, Kay. I am so glad you had a glimmer of light in your life at least for one weekend.

And, dear Jan, memories fill your head today as do they all days about your beloved Pete and all the wonderful times you had together. I wish he were still with you as he was several years back. I caught you on FB but I want to let you know that your are very much in my thoughts today as all days. I lit a candle for both you and Pete tonight and as I sat on the patio I enjoyed a new chardonnay I had not tried before - lighter than the oak I usually like but pleasant in the mouth. My preference is a very buttery oak taste which usually means a Kendall Jackson Grand Reserve for me.

Karen, I liked your story and we all move in and out of different threads and post whereever we want and that is always ok. After all, how many nine year olds know how to set the oven to bake!

[Wifflesnook]

Two really good things happened today. I can't remember when I had a better day since Pete had the stroke. First our daughter Rainie passed her driving test. This will make her life so much easier. She has been struggling on buses with two little ones on her own daily. And it will mean she can visit me and I won't need to do all the driving. So it will be good for me too.

Secondly the chap who is designing a memorial cairn for Pete came with his sketches. It will be in the form of a cairn, made from sea-washed cobbles and have a spiral in the design. Pete had a spiral as a tattoo on his arm. We counted ourselves as Pantheists and spirals are very important in the natural world. It's function will be as an insect hotel, for larvae, bees, etc to overwinter in. It's location will be only half a mile from our cottage, and about half a mile from the sea and three quarters from the estuary of the River Humber. We think that local friends, maybe birders and mothers will build it. It will probably incorporate a line or two from one of his poems. Pete would be totally embarrassed by this LOL. But I love to think that people will pass by and remember him. Our .little grand daughters can pick up stones to put in it. I will walk past it daily as long as I can. I shall begin tomorrow collecting stones. I'm also going to look through his poems to choose a suitable text.

[HAP]

Dear friends,

I am feeling very lucky just now to be alive and uninjured. As most of you know I have been putting in a complex fence system around my vegetable garden to keep the groundhogs out. While walking over some of the ground I have excavated I suddenly sank up to my hip in an undiscovered sinkhole. Fortunately my other leg was on solid ground and it held up despite having to support my weight in the sudden collapse. I managed to stand up without a problem. Then I looked down the hole. It goes down at least ten feet, though the section that collapsed only goes down about four or five.

Jane and I had a similar problem about a dozen years ago and had much of the back yard dug up then to fix it. The house is built on ledge, but part of the backyard is on an old quarry--fortunately well away from the house as we learned in our last adventure. This sinkhole is in an area we did not have dug up the first time--a decision I am regretting very much at the moment.

Needless to say, this hole is beyond my ability to fix so I have had to call an excavator. He is out on a job, so he will call me tonight. Needless to say, this is not going to be cheap.

But at least I didn't hurt myself physically in the process. And that is a positive after a wake and funeral this weekend, another wake tonight and another funeral tomorrow, and god only knows what next.

Jan, I love the cairn idea. It will be wonderful.

Peace,

Harry

[kayc]

Karen,

Put them in a tupperware container with a couple of slices of apple overnight and see if that softens them. Or heat them on low/slow setting in microwave for maybe 20 seconds (more or less, depends on the microwave wattage).

I did really well for going to the reunion "unattached" (I wasn't the only one as several are divorced), but I couldn't help thinking how MUCH George would have loved going and meeting my aunts/uncles. He had a heart for the elderly.

Jan,

I do hope you'll take a picture of it when it's done! I'm a visual person so it helps me to understand it if I can see it.

And nearly 50 years, that seems amazing, but then I know George and I would have been able to make it to 50 years had we met/married younger...but perhaps we weren't yet ready for each other. I find that my life before him and his life before me really prepared us to fully appreciate and love each other.

OMG, Harry, I'm so glad you're okay! You aren't in danger of losing part of your house to a sinkhole, are you, like the guy in Florida did? That is so scary! I'm trying to figure out how you're okay if one foot was on solid ground and one sunk down several feet! I'd think that would have split you in half! What a day/week you have plan...excavator, funerals, wakes, ugh! The groundhogs aren't going to win though!

[MartyT]

Jan, your cairn project sounds like an absolutely perfect way to memorialize your precious Pete ~ and how wonderful it will be for your grandchildren (and others passing by) to see it near your cottage!

Good Heavens, Harry! What you've described is frightening! I'm so sorry that this happened to you, but it's good to know that you came through this event without sustaining a serious injury! A positive indeed! (If I didn't know better, I'd suspect that rascal of a groundhog had something to do with this )

[Wifflesnook]

not sure if this will work. It's the rough sketch. In the foreground is how it looks. In the back ground is the cairn in situ

[Wifflesnook]

We have a First World War Sound Mirror which is an important historic monument in the background.

[enna]

I just lost a post that up and disappeared like a puff of smoke!! I must have forgotten to hit 'post' before I signed off!! No comments - I'm sure I'm not the only one who does that!

First of all, Harry, I am so glad you are all right! I'm glad someone is coming to fix the sinkhole. That must be some groundhog you have visiting you! Way too many wakes and funerals, also. I think it's our age.

First of all, Jan, I am so happy that you have not one but two positives to report to us.

Jan, how great that Rainie can drive. Yes, it will be so much easier on you and Rainie.

I really like the sketch of the craine. Like Kay, I am a visual person so it will be nice when the project is complete. A very fitting memorial for your beloved Pete. When you start gathering the stones let one of them be from me.

[HAP]

Karen, the house is on no danger as the entire mess is well away from it and it is built on a solid piece of ledge.

Marty, it could have been--and should have been--more serious than it was. Fortunately, my body always relaxes when something unexpected happens. Most people tighten up under those circumstances. For reasons I have never fully understood, I don't. And I suspect Jane was looking out for me there as well. Years--decades really--of yoga likely helped as well.

Nothing this groundhog does surprises me any longer. I've never had one go after green tomatoes before, but there were two gnawed ones on the ground when I went out there this morning. Unfortunately, he will win a round or two here because I will have to let the ground settle after the excavation and filling of the sinkhole for a year or so before I can really finish up the fencing project. Worse, the excavation may have to take out part of the garden before all is said and done. The good news there is my onions, which are in that area at risk, are about ready for harvest. I may lose a mum or two, as well, but everything else appears to be on solid ground. Of course I thought that about the area that collapsed as well... but most of the garden is sitting on top of ledge as well--a different one than the house is on.

Well, the guy has not called and I need to go to the wake.

Peace,

Harry

[Wifflesnook]

Harry, whenever something good happens I think Pete has a hand in it. I think your Jane helped you. How big is your garden? Sorry I think in the States it's called a yard isn't it? I would love to see everyone's yards. I will try to post a nice pic of my garden soon.

[Queeniemary]

Harry, so glad you were not injured. If both legs had been on the part that sunk, you could have been, as I am sure you know. That ground hog must be the ground hog from hell! None of my ground hogs have ever given me a minutes problem. Of course, I did not have fresh vegetables for them to steal either.

Jan, very happy about your positives. So glad your daughter was there for you on the 51st anniversary.

My positive for today...heading for silver sneakers class in a few moments. Finally got back on track on the exercise last week. I do enjoy the class, just rather stay home, perhaps a tad lazy.

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

[kayc]

Jan,

Thank you for sharing your picture, it helps us visualize!

Harry,

I think I'll co-exist with the groundhogs...

[kayc]

My positive...I had to drive to Salem today (140 mile round trip from my office) to a mixed up area I don't know very well to deliver our health insurance premium so we would not be cancelled effective July 1, (my boss didn't have $ to pay it sooner and they wouldn't let us overnight it, I couldn't wire it because the bank doesn't make the $ available until next day). I was nervous about driving in the big city in unknown area but I drove right to it and there was even a parking space right out front! So happy! I followed my nose and got out of the city and headed back to the office, again, so happy!

I haven't driven to Salem since my Prison Ministry Days, it's been probably 12 years!

[Queeniemary]

Kay, I understand about not wanting to drive in large cities, give me a small town anytime. I won't drive to Little Rock, one of the largest towns around here, always have to have a driver.

I had a wonderful visit with Mary last night on the phone. She has really eased my mind concerning my upcoming cataract surgery in Nov. and Dec. I so enjoyed talking to her...don't understand though, she seems to think I have a southern accent!!! Of course, I think she sounds like a Yankee. LOL

She is driving to the monastery today, arriving around supper time, and then will be in her room. Her brother is not there. Right after her appointment tomorrow she will be driving home immediately, and will give us at update at that time.

Looking forward to the update after her appointment with her eye surgeon tomorrow.

My positive today, cleaning out my closet. I have too many clothes, think I was online clothing store's best customer for a while! I do not wear even half of them, so am going to donate them. Same thing with shoes.

Jan, I am posting a few pictures of my back yard, from my porch, the maiden grass was planted by Mike probably five years ago. He loved grasses. The two Rose of Sharron were cuttings from my Mother's. I love my back yard, feels like I am in the middle of a green forest.

Mary (Queeniemary) in Arkansas

[kayc]

You all and your artistic (yard) ability puts me to shame! My place fits into the natural surroundings, and my beautiful green grass just turned straw colored from lack of rain. No one has extra water for their yard as we're on wells.

I want to post a picture of my mom's house...I was ecstatic after seeing it last night, they gave me a tour. They had to replace the roof/upstairs ceiling so while they were at it, went up four feet and vaulted it and added skylights. They turned the attic into a loft bedroom and the shop into a downstairs and added bathroom etc. so it's a fully contained unit in itself. They removed the cupboard/counter in kitchen so it now is open (next to dining room) and they installed granite counters and beautiful wood cabinets on the opposing wall and I think are putting in the appliances on the brick wall. All new windows throughout, enlarged/changed bathrooms, restored hardwood floors, new linoleum for kitchen, carpet upstairs. Changed some walls, everything freshly textured/painted. Removed the large built in bookshelf. Painted the middle brick wall cream. Made the upstairs into separate bedrooms with new closets. It's really quite phenomenal! My dad would be so pleased that they not only saved it but made it a work of art!

It was hard to see all of the rhododendrons and rosebushes go, as well as the trees but they plan to do some landscaping after they build the house in the back.