Mary1063 Posted May 25, 2014 Report Share Posted May 25, 2014 Hi folks, This is Mary's husband. Very flustered. It took me a while to navigate through signing in and I apologize if this post is not where it belongs. Mary had a much more significant stroke about a month ago now. She has been on a respirator. Her brain function is worse but she just won't stop fighting. Drs are slowly trying to wean her from the respirator. We talk to her. She can't talk back obviously but listens, tries to smile, and shows so much expression in her eyes. Squeezing hands is impossible on her left side and weak on her right. Emotionally, she knows that Thursday will be one year since Leo passed. She misses her brother immensely. As do we all. I must work during the week which makes everything more difficult. It's 10am here and I was suppose to be at the hospital by now. I better get things in gear. I thought I would stop and update you dear people who have supported Mary and our family. Prayers to you all... Butch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 25, 2014 Report Share Posted May 25, 2014 Dear Butch, I am so grateful you have updated us on Mary's health but so very sad to know she has had another stroke and is on a respirator. I just can't imagine how worn out you are as you try to work, visit Mary, and so much more. Please know you are not forgotten and we all hold you in our hearts and thoughts and prayers, Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted May 25, 2014 Report Share Posted May 25, 2014 Hi Butch, My heart goes out to you as you go through yet another health issue with our Mary. Please know that we are all keeping you and the family in our prayers. Let Mary know that we are holding her close to our hearts. She is a fighter. I hope she can be relieved of the respirator soon. Mention us to her everytime you see her. Let her know we are with her and loving her. Please take care of yourself. I cannot imagine what a strain it must be on you. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted May 25, 2014 Report Share Posted May 25, 2014 My dear Butch, it hurts my heart to read this latest news about our dear Mary. We are all so sorry, not only for Mary but for you as well, as we shudder to think what this has been like for you. As Mary and Anne have said, rest assured that we have not forgotten either one of you, and you both will remain in our hearts and prayers. Thanks so much for taking the time to let us know what is going on with both of you, and know that we are with you. ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 25, 2014 Report Share Posted May 25, 2014 Butch, I am so sorry you and Mary have had to go through so much and continue to still. I want to encourage you to hang in there. My best friend had a bad stroke, had to learn to walk and talk again. Her voice isn't the same as it used to be, more flat, but we've all gotten used to it. Her walking is slower but she does it. She's still the cutest thing, miles around. Right now she's riding a motorcycle with her BF. I just want you to know there's life on the other end of the struggle. We continue to pray for you both and are here to talk to whenever you need to. Give Mary our love. I know her heart is with Leo this week (and always)...I also know what it is to live with loss. They are never apart from us, we learn to carry them inside our hearts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted May 25, 2014 Report Share Posted May 25, 2014 Butch, I'm so sorry to hear this latest news about Mary. She and your entire family continue to face and endure so many awful happenings. Please know you are in our hearts and prayers. Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted May 26, 2014 Report Share Posted May 26, 2014 Dear Butch, Thank you for navigating the puzzle to come here and let us know how Mary is doing. I know we all wish there was better news, and we will continue to pray and hope for a good outcome. This is a very rough time for Mary and for you, and I will be thinking of you, sending all healing thoughts and best wishes, and of course, more *<fairy dust>* for everyone as you make it day by day through this rough time. I hold you in my heart. *<twinkles>* and Much Love, fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary1063 Posted May 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2014 Thank you all for your kindness, thoughts, and prayers. I read Mary your replies this evening and even though she can't talk she attempted a smile while at the same time tears formed in her eyes. She was happy. When life is this difficult, it sure is the sweet little things that bring joy. I thank you from our family for bringing her joy. Tomorrow she will be taken off the vent and see if she is able to hold her oxygen up on her own. Dr said it may take a few tries. Physical therapy is with her daily moving her legs and arms to prevent more atrophy. Goodnight. Blessing to each of you. Butch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 27, 2014 Report Share Posted May 27, 2014 Bless her heart but don't be surprised if she isn't riding off on a Harley a year from now like my best friend! Haha, you'll have to tell her I said that. My best friend learned to walk again, talk again, and she's done it. I hope it goes well when she's taken off the vent. and able to keep her oxygen levels up. And God bless you for being there through thick and thin with her...that's one thing I miss about having my husband gone. He was my best fan and cheering squad! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary1063 Posted May 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 Hi all, Mary is successfully off the ventilator. Trying to speak. Not such an easy job between being very winded and having a constant Oxygen mask on to help. Plus the aftermath from this most recent stroke has left her unable to get any words out. It is heartbreaking to see her frustration and pain. Her eyes show it all. She knows today is 1 year since Leo passed away. And she cannot talk about it. It is agonizing to witness. I brought some photos of he and Shannon and our family. I tried to talk to her. To tell her it is okay. Her brother (and Shannon and Ziggy) know where her heart is. Words are not needed. She just got so upset so I left for a little bit here. The Dr is ordering something to help her relax more. I will go back in a bit. I took today off. Bad memories from a year ago today. I just want to take it away from my wife. I also realize she is headed down the same road as her two brothers and their parents. God bless. And thank you. Butch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted May 29, 2014 Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 Dear Butch, I am so glad to know that Mary is breathing on her own, even if labored right now. I think what you did with the pictures and speaking for and to her, in a sense, about this anniversary was wonderful. I can only imagine how painful this is for you. You have walked through so much loss with Mary and now you realize that "she is headed down the same road as her brothers and parents." I hope you plan to stay here with us as you grieve. You are part of us now and walking with Mary on this journey will be difficult, of course, and we are here to support you. Please give her our love. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted May 29, 2014 Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 Dear Butch, Please give Mary my love, and let her know we are all holding her close in our hearts. I am so sorry that this journey is so terribly difficult for everyone in the family. I hope you have comfort and compassion from everyone there at the hospital. Please know that you are family here, both you and Mary, and we are so very grateful that you are letting us know how things are going, and for keeping the lines of love open between us and Mary and you. Butch, thank you for letting us know about the situation. We are here for you, and for Mary, too. *<twinkles>* for you both. fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted May 29, 2014 Report Share Posted May 29, 2014 Sending love and prayers. I wish we could be there to give Mary a big hug. Keeping you in my prayers, Butch. It takes strength and courage to see our loved ones go through so very much. I have not forgotten Ziggy, Leo or Shannon ~ they are marked forever in my heart. Anne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mary1063 Posted May 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Thank you all so very much. I read all of your words to Mary this evening. She had a most emotional day and evening. She remembers when we all had to say our goodbyes to Leo a year ago. It's not just losing him one year ago, but Shannon lost him too and had to keep fighting her cancer with setbacks and grief and loss of will to fight anymore without Leo. It is too much loss to bear for Mary. I just held her as she cried. Trying to get her to not cry because of her difficulty breathing. That was challenging. She got a sedative before I left this evening and I stayed until she was asleep before I slipped out. She wants to see our grandsons but she is still in critical care for a few more days so no kiddos. She cried and smiled all at once when I read your words to her. Thank you for your kindness in the face of your own grief and pain. Goodnight. God bless. Butch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Mary and Butch, I needn't tell you how unfair it is for one family to go through so much pain and struggle. At the same time, there've been some positives, you've been a loving supportive family. I'm so glad Mary is off the ventilator and hopefully soon will be able to talk. Will be counting the days until she can see her grandsons! I'm glad you were with her, Butch, as that was undoubtedly a very trying day for Mary. Praying for continued recovery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted May 30, 2014 Report Share Posted May 30, 2014 Butch, you are an amazing man and a devoted husband. Mary is blessed to have you in her life. We honor your commitment to her, and we hold both you and your Mary in our hearts and prayers. ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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