Gb Kitty Is Missed

[kayc]

I'm sorry it hurts so bad, I do remember what I felt like when King George died. I was very, very angry at the animal hospital for misdiagnosing him, esp. since they were all about the money and I suspect they didn't really examine him as they should have. They never apologized and truly seemed to not care. I'm still angry at them nine years later and would never take my animal there.

[Marj37]

Hi - here's my memorial spot in the living room( 2nd pic) . I don't think I posted it as yet. And the small Rosie Rat was one of Gb's favorites -

I has just ordered 3 new ones recently.

Working on pictures in my digi cams today.......that is an extremely tough job as each one brings back strong memories.

And wishing Gb were still here to purr and snuggle with me.

Wanted to get them off the cams so as not to lose them.

The first one is like many others I have at other windows........together they looked out on the world. I have "watching"

spots at every window in the house.

[Marj37]

I'm sorry it hurts so bad, I do remember what I felt like when King George died. I was very, very angry at the animal hospital for misdiagnosing him, esp. since they were all about the money and I suspect they didn't really examine him as they should have. They never apologized and truly seemed to not care. I'm still angry at them nine years later and would never take my animal there.

Love that name of "King George" That is so horrible when there is so much misdiagnosing going on.

I remember years ago when a vet told me Mr Purr was behaving weirdly because he was old and went ahead and gave him

some vaccines. A week later Mr Purr was back in the office with the other vet who told me he had renal failure. The vaccine must have really

spurred the renal failure into full fledged disease. He lived about a month after that.

It's such a risk. I thought it mostly happened with cats; but from being here in the group I understand it has happened with

dogs also.

I think we have to be on our toes at every office visit...........watch closely and ask all the questions we can think of.

My heart is with us all as we lean on each other for our daily support.

[Copperpot]

Hamish & GB are so adorable! Im so sorry you had to say goodbye to your GB. I know exactly how you feel about wanting to find their smell. It sounds so strange but I have been searching for my dogs smell everywhere since he passed. I see his dirty paw prints on our ottoman & I cant bring myself to clean them. I came across his heartworm chews today & I broke down for a long time. The reminders are everywhere I turn.

I wish I had something profound to say that could make you feel better. I really dont, but I thought I would share a poem my mom had shared with me just a week before our Chester got sick.

I walked a mile with pleasure, he chatted all the way

but left me none the wiser

for all he had to say.

I walked a mile with sorrow

never a word said he

but oh the things I learned

when sorrow walked with me.

I do believe we learn so much in these moments of darkness.

Sending prayers & healing thoughts from a fellow grieving soul

Carrie

[Kacy]

Marj,

The memorial to Gb is so beautiful! I love the pictures of him and the angels. He was so lucky to be so loved, and you were lucky to have him be a part of your life for so long. I know you miss him. Sometimes I wish we didn't care about them so much. Would make it easier, wouldn't it?

Mary

[Marj37]

Thanks much, Mary.

I sure wish the same thing at times. Yup, if he'd been "just a cat".

However, he was a soul-kitty and a wonderful companion and so interested in all life around him.

So here we are, Mary - mourning my Gb and your Allie.

Wishing you and all a portion of Peace this day.

[kayc]

Love the pictures!!!

"King George" got the title King to differentiate between him and my husband. I had the cat first and they both had the same name so we had to differentiate somehow...and he definitely thought he was King!

[Marj37]

Hi KayC

That is so dear and appropriate

[Marj37]

Hello .....

Every Sunday seems to feel so sad as it is the beginning of when i knew Gb HAD to go to that speciality ER. And I

watched him that day breathing heavily until my son got off work so he could take me as it was far from my

home and in an odd place (we even got lost out there-- thankfully I have OnStar)

I even started the day in a different way this morning---- I went to our island state park on the Detroit river a few miles from my home

and walked awhile -it was beautiful and quiet.

[kayc]

I can imagine how "too quiet" it must seem. Even sad contemplation is good in that it helps us process our loss...I've learned there is no way to circumvent the grief, but go straight through it. (Trust me, if there'd been a way around it, I would have found it by now!)

[Marj37]

Thanks, KayC----I am starting to understand that more now. Understanding it more than just say "process the loss" - but allowing body, mind & spirit

to attempt to do that.

This state of living is so opposite to the world around us. That's why it's an extreme gift to have a grief place like this site and people

take time to read what we feel and support what we are going through.

I loved my Gb; I love him now. I miss him terribly. And I will attempt to hold that up as an honorable place; not a negative place. As i do that

perhaps it won't feel so dark.

[kayc]

I feel a kinship with you as I feel the same way, both about my furry loves and also this site. This sure is an ongoing process!

[Marj37]

At lunch I was listening to Public radio. They were discussing PTSD and the vivid

memory images that are part of it. . And the night I had to let Gb go came into my mind like immediately switching

on the tv. The doc had him partially wrapped in a towel. And how frail Gb looked and how he sniffed my hair. I could barely swallow any more food. Really hard for me and the tears turned on..

Once again my mind must be processing all this. I know I do not want to lose the memory of him sniffing my hair;

knowing it was me. It is still raw .

Better I "talk" this out and not repress. I'm lucky to live alone because i can cry away or curl up if I need to

without anyone commenting.

Hamish is napping under my desk on a towel where Gb laid.

[Marj37]

Hi - I find the need to comment on the topic of routine. Cats thrive on routine. I try to keep the routine the same

with my Hamish as I did when Gb was here. Food times, treat times, a little outdoor time, brushing time - I've kept

the same but with heavy heart as my Gb isn't here doing the silly things he did; and when I used his asthma inhaler & treats

I would sing to him kitty versions of a couple nursery songs and that was always after my teeth brushing time

am & pm. There is a gap now. I have no idea if Hamish misses those songs - but I can't sing them without sobbing.

And evening tv time has changed - always had two of them piled on me....now only 1. Sometimes now I change

to the other room because I am just too too sad, too wistful.

I've changed a few personal routines in a positive way. Knowing life is everchanging.

[Kacy]

Marj,

I think dogs are the same way as far as routine. It's amazing how quickly they learn it, too, if you are consistent. I have tried to keep everything the same since Allie died also. It was hard to get used to not having 3 little dishes to fill, and then trying to keep Logan from running over Allie as they raced thru the gate into the dining room. They all seem to have their own favorite spots to lay. It's so hard to look and see that one spot is empty now.

In some ways, I think all of the routines make it even harder to go on without them.

Mary

[Marj37]

Oh yes, Mary - I sure do agree. I miss Gb so much in all the little household routines.

I am losing words anymore and sometimes the words make him seem further away. Almost like

I want to be quiet and keep it in my heart .

This morning I was cleaning the landing by the side door where I'd take them in and out for a little fresh

air and there is the box Gb always went in to get his treat when we came inside. Without fail he knew that was

his treat place.

And Hamish always went to the 3rd step (which he still does).

And of course it is Sunday again - the day i watched him labor to breathe while I waited til my son got off

work so we could take him to that ER.

[LadyCarrie]

Much, much ❤️ to each of you.

Carrie

[Marj37]

Thanks, Carrie.

I read about you and doggie - hope things go well for awhile .

[Copperpot]

Marj, i know what you mean about the little songs we sing to our pets. I have a song for each dog. My husband & I sort of come up with them. When I sing the Chester song, or try to, I fall apart. I do sing it sometimes though, just so I dont forget. Routines are such a part of a living things life, animal & human. its funny how you think your other pets will be able to fill in, but you still feel that huge void in the daily activities. My heart goes out to you tonight. I personally have a much tougher time at night :-(

[Marj37]

Thanks, Copperpot! The songs were so fun. The three little fishies song I changed to "two little kitties and their momma kitty too", and

so forth, "meowed and meowed as they ran around the dam".

The one that really makes tears when i even think of it is my version of How much is that doggie in the window.... "how much is that kitty in the window"---

-ending with "he's mine and he's not for sale".

I sure don't see that void changing --- we were so so fortunate to have special guys in our life with endearing personalities.

[Marj37]

I sure miss all about my Gb kitty - his kitty kisses, his purrs, his body next to mine or on my lap, his antics, his

love of boxes.

And I cry buckets sometimes. Even thought about saving the tears and letting them dry and using it as sea salt. LOL

Yesterday when I was getting some treats that Hamish won't eat ready to donate I found one of the bags had

Gb teeth marks where he had gotten hold of it. So I'm saving that bag to put in his memory book.

I had to hide everything in bags that I brought in the house for them.....or he'd be right into tearing the

containers --- he even learned how to tip over the big plastic container I put the bags in and get the lid

off. Hamish always stood by ready to sample the goods.

Here's my box baby from a number of years ago!!!!! I found wonderful pics today on my old cds. Thankfully!!!!!

[kayc]

That's cute! Here is a picture of Kitty, she'd snuck into the box of Christmas ornaments I had opened on the bed...she's almost 20.

[Marj37]

Oh wow! Thanks for sharing that. I had forgotten you have a kitty. And 20! That is marvelous.

[Copperpot]

:-))) couple of super cutey boxed cats! Thanks for sharing that memory with us. Glad you found those photos too! Ive been so thankful for every photo/video I ever took of Chester.

Also, a 20 year old kitty. Whoa!

[LadyCarrie]

I didn't know Kitty was 20, Kay! We've never been blessed to have one that long. Beautiful cat. I am a cat person. Jerry became allergic to them, so I can't have one. I'll just enjoy those of others, and I love the photos shared on the forum. Thank you for sharing your photos.

Carrie