Rough Day

[Margm]

Only one side effect for me was stuffy nose.  My daughter takes it too.  I did at one time.  I think it will provide a night of sleep.  

[WolfsKat]

22 hours ago, Brad said:

Hoping you slept last night WolfsKat.  I like the idea too. 

Thanks, Brad!  Actually had a good rest this past evening.....grateful for it, makes me feel "stronger".  I mentioned the idea of shared living arrangements to some of my friends & family....they were also in agreement that such a situation would be advantageous to so many of us struggling to deal with the issues we face.  I think it would work best, possibly....for those who are pretty much sure that the possibility of another relationship is not in their fairly immediate future (of course, one can't accurately say 100% sure....but, I think you get the premise). When I do move to Michigan, I'm going to do my best to make such an arrangement for myself.  Not just for my personal benefit, but also for my potential "housemate"...but I sure wish there were a "matching site" for such a thing, with potential housemates already vetted and background checked, etc.!!!  My sister suggested that perhaps a good source of potential housemates would be a local widows/widowers support group......as I stated before, intriguing concept!

[hollowheart]

Just thought I'd bombard the "Rough Day" thread because I feel like I"m having a nervous breakdown right now. I took some meds but they aren't strong enough. I want to take two but don't know if that is a good idea, but at this point I don't care. I just feel like screaming and crying and curling up in bed.

I don't feel like I can handle today at all. I woke up feeling terrible. I woke up missing my sister and all the way to work I just wanted to talk to her so bad, I just miss talking to her so much. It's pure torture. This life is pure torture.

And my Ma has been depending on me a lot to help her and that started stressing me out as I started looking ahead at me being her caregiver one day and that almost had me jumping off the roof at the idea of doing it alone, no one to help me, no one to get advice from. I am no equipped to handle that kind of stuff by myself, I'm just not that type of person. My God, why did this have to happen to my sister. I just feel awful today mentally and emotionally.

 

[Guest]

HH

I am so sorry you are having such a terrible day.  All I can say is take it just one moment at a time, one minute....one hour.... all build up to one day.  Grief is wicked and evil but I believe that given time you will find that you do have the strength to emerge from this, stronger, wiser and much better.  Take a minute and read my signature and believe it is your sister talking to you.

[KarenK]

Oh, HH

I'm sorry that you are having such a terrible day. I am sending you a BIG HUG right now.

Your phrase for today is "Just Breathe", hon. I called my daughter sobbing hysterically the day that Ron was put on life support and I"ll never forget those words she said to me. "Breathe, Mom, just breathe. It will be alright." And for you and all of us here, in time it will be alright, not great, but alright.

[kayc]

HH, so sorry you're having such a rough day.   I hope it starts feeling better!

[WolfsKat]

1 hour ago, hollowheart said:

Just thought I'd bombard the "Rough Day" thread because I feel like I"m having a nervous breakdown right now. I took some meds but they aren't strong enough. I want to take two but don't know if that is a good idea, but at this point I don't care. I just feel like screaming and crying and curling up in bed.

I don't feel like I can handle today at all. I woke up feeling terrible. I woke up missing my sister and all the way to work I just wanted to talk to her so bad, I just miss talking to her so much. It's pure torture. This life is pure torture.

And my Ma has been depending on me a lot to help her and that started stressing me out as I started looking ahead at me being her caregiver one day and that almost had me jumping off the roof at the idea of doing it alone, no one to help me, no one to get advice from. I am no equipped to handle that kind of stuff by myself, I'm just not that type of person. My God, why did this have to happen to my sister. I just feel awful today mentally and emotionally.

 

Dear HH.......SO sorry you are getting hit so hard...scream, cry, punch pillows.....howl to the moon if it lessens the pain!  Sometimes just letting it all flow can help, bottling it up creates a powder keg, I've found out the hard way.  You have it very hard having to cope with both your own grief, your mom's, and the worry over being her caretaker.  There are resources for those who have to deal with being a caretaker....support groups exist for those persons, your mother's doctor might be of assistance in this.  If you truly feel you are not able to handle the role....there is help out there, it does not necessarily have to be only you responsible.  As this seems to be a scenario that has not yet come to pass, please try to not overthink it and project into a future that's not arrived as yet.......and, yes, I KNOW that is difficult to do!  As the others have said......just take it hour to hour, day to day.....and,  BREATHE.......I hope, and pray, that you feel some easing of your pain, and some solace in the very, very near future....Peace to you.

[Tfer]

Discuss the situation with the doctor, including the financial issues. as many others here have said, most drug companies can help.  I hope you find something that helps you feel better, once you do some of the other issues may be a tiny bit easier to deal with. thinking of you and wishing you peace and healing!

[Tfer]

HH,

So sorry you're having such a bad day. All I can say is when I think of "the rest of my life" it is just too overwhelming and leaves me feeling drained. So, I'm trying to just deal with the here and now - something I can control to a certain extent - and even if I can't control it, I am conscious of what's going on rather than focusing on the unknown that I cannot predict.  Because my husband died in such a random, sudden way, I realize that you cannot even predict the next minute, let alone the rest of your life. So I just try to Breathe, stay in the moment and deal with things as they come up. Sending you hugs and strength. xoxo 

[hollowheart]

Thank you all. You have no idea how good it felt to read these responses and know I'm not alone. I literally have no one else to vent too and I think that is adding to my insanity. Not having even one person to talk to really does make you crazy. And my sister was that go to person.

I don't know what it was today, but I guess it was one of those nasty sneaky grief attacks. It started last night, I just started missing her so much and the reality was hard to bear (again). We also got some money which is in my name since I'm her beneficiary and my mom was freaking out about getting checks with her name on them and a debit card with her name on it and she kept asking me about it and I didn't give a crap about the money or dealing with any of that at all. It just all started to feel overwhelming.

Then she asked me again about it and it just put me in a bitchy mood, just made me feel this pressure where I had no one else to help. Of course me and my sis tag teamed in helping her or getting her stuff, now it's all just on me. She's also a hoarder (a medium case) and me and my sister talked about that a lot then I started thinking about it's on me now to clean up this mess. Sorry, i just had to complain. It was just to much today.