KATPILOT Posted September 7, 2016 Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 So many memories too Butch. I remember when my dad died a few months after my wife. I wished so much she could have been there with and for me. In case that happens for you just know there are many here who stand with you. The death of a parent after losing your bride seems to make her loss even greater. I lost my in-laws within the next two years and still my wife being gone all but consumed me. It's just hard, very very hard but in time it gets easier and then you miss every one of them. Death makes no sense to me now and I doubt it ever will. I'd put my arm on your shoulder were I there. We all would. If you can sleep at all please do so. The mental exhaustion takes the biggest toll. Steve 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted September 7, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2016 Thank you its hard to have memorial after memorial in the same church Mary and I got married in. I looked around looking for her looking for my mother looking for my father. But really really looking for my bride. It was just a tough day. I had a difficult time speaking. But my son took over for me. I'm so proud of him and lucky he's my boy. Well, man. I took a Xanax so I hope I can sleep a little. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 Butch, I know you are tired. I quoted from a book I am reading and it was our very own Marty's quote. It was on Labor Day and that is supposed to be a day of rest. She quoted what grief really was "It's called grief work because finding your way through grief is hard work. If you put it off like a messy chore, it just sits there waiting for you." Marty Tousley. So you are tired because this has been a terrible year of anxiety and grieving work for you. Your in my heart. 22 minutes ago, KATPILOT said: The death of a parent after losing your bride seems to make her loss even greater. I And, I believe that so much. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 Butch, My thoughts and prayers are with you today and in the weeks ahead. Gin 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 Butch, My heartfelt prayers...I hope you sleep well tonight. I know how it stirs up memories as well as you felt the need for Mary today. It seems grief piles upon grief...just as you named this thread. (((hugs))) dear friend. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted September 8, 2016 Report Share Posted September 8, 2016 It must be so hard to keep having to go back to the same church you began your life with your wife with. Death certainly changes how we view the world forever. Hoping you get some much needed rest. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted September 9, 2016 Report Share Posted September 9, 2016 Butch I hope you are doing okay although I know that is sort of impossible. I was thinking about your dad and losing his wife. It brought back memories of my in-laws. The only time I ever heard my father in-law cry was when I told him over the phone so far away that his daughter had left us. My wife's parents had a very hard time with my wife's death. I don't think my mother in-law could handle the loss and in poor health, she passed within a year and a half. Once again my father in-law faced a loss so great that he followed his wife within five months. At the funeral I could only feel that he was the lucky one. He got to be with his wife and daughter and most importantly escape the pain both physically and emotionally. I was left behind having lost my own father and all of them within a few short years of each other. But it takes more strength and courage to keep on living. That is what we are doing my friend, fighting through the pain. I see that you were born just four days before my wife which makes you eleven years younger than I. That is a double edged sword I suppose. You have more life yet to live and yet more years of sorrow to endure. I can't help but believe that life has a purpose. There just has to be a reason we are still here. The trick is to allow it to show itself though it's hard to see with tears in our eyes. I pray you find comfort and rest for Mary is still close to you in more ways than you can imagine and how we live our lives is so greatly influenced by them. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted September 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2016 this says how our grief is doesn't it... this says how my heart is feeling. I'm looking for my darling bride in all of this. ? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted September 10, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2016 20 months 1 day ago was the last time I saw your face kissed your lips felt your cheek held your hand cuddled you close felt your heart beating. I miss you more than ever my sweet Mary. There just aren't enough words. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 Butch,. You are right. Words will not do. Wish I had a magic wand and bring all our loved ones back. And well. Gin 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted September 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 I have Gracie overnight tonight Special Grampy and Gracie time So many cuddles and smiles My heart hurts but she makes it better She was having fun enjoying banana for dinner 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 What a treat for you both! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted September 11, 2016 Report Share Posted September 11, 2016 Oh Butch, that smile could make anything better. She is such a day brightener to see that pretty face. She makes me smile too. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted September 18, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 18, 2016 My saving Grace ❤️ 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted September 18, 2016 Report Share Posted September 18, 2016 "My Saving Grace" could not be more appropriate. Thanks for making us smile. She is so adorable, I just want to hug her. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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