Dwaynecg

Kay, I am feeling great. The very best part of that day of the surgery was when the started waking me up in recovery. I was dreaming about PAULINE, I could see her FACE, HAPPY, HEALTHY, it was the very best part. She was with me the whole time watching over me. I am voiding good not a 100% yet but it has only been a few days I am still healing. I went to church last night. If you have read my new thread you will see what happened to me yesterday. I am not letting it, get me down. I am on fire in my heart and soul and ready to get started on my schooling as soon as the DR. give me the go ahead. I have been meaning to call you. I will later today. God Bless you Kay my dear friend, I pray God has been giving you better health and your are is getting better. Dwayne

Hi Everyone, Well Monday you all know I had the surgery. It went well and I could feel all the prayers from all of you, my friend, and my church. Harry offered to take me home around 11:00 or so. I decided to wait until my friend Donna would pick me up around 2:30. It is a good thing I did. I voided 6 times after the catheter was taken out. The last 3 times the amount drop down each time. The last time was only 100 cc. I got dressed around 2:00 and I felt a lot of pressure in the bladder. I asked for the nurse. When she saw me, she told me to get back to my room and in bed they were going to ultra sound the bladder. I needed the catheter back in. They took out 1200 cc. I came home no problems and Tuesday morning everything was fine. In the afternoon. The catheter got plugged up. If I had the saline I would have done a flush my self. I already had, everything from Pauline all sterile and sealed. I called the DR. I went in and they flushed it out and drained about 1000 cc. Then the DR came in and put in 2 more tubes of flush. It drained good and looked good also. He took out the catheter and sent me home. I went to a hospice meeting in Raynham. By 10:00 last night I still could not void. I went and laid down, cleared my mind and went back on the toilet. It took about 10 minutes but I voided and passed a big clot. Today I have voided 6 times ok. I had an appointment with my primary DR at 9:30 I stopped by Donna's hair salon and gave her and update. I left at 9:15 going to my DR. When an older man in his 70's cut across 4 lanes and right into my drivers door. Now I have to have that fixed. He did not want to stay. But I called the police and told him he was not leaving until the police came. They did and he got a ticket. I went to the DR. He checked me all out to make sure I was not injured after the surgery. That man that hit me was going to the same office but seeing a different DR. I am fine and my blood pressure was 100 over 58. The nurse could not believe how calm I was after the accident. I just want to know when all of this will end. On the bright side, when they woke me up in recovery, I was dreaming about Pauline, she was healthy and happy. So I know she was with me the whole time watching over me. I felt so good it is hard to put into words. God Bless Dwayne

Dear Suzanne, I thought I was ready when Pauline passed away, I wasn't. The first 2 week. I was doing things I needed to get done. A lot of paper work. She donated her body to science. I was Planning a memorial, making a DVD of her life. I scanned in over 250 pictures in the computer, moved them into Photo shop elements to crop and fix the photos. I then had to add them into windows movie maker, with 9 of Pauline's favorite songs. I went to a job fair at a hospital. I had the experience but no certification. Then I got so sick for 2 week. I rear ended a car. Done $2600.00 damage to my van. The other car had no damage, my bumper went under his. It was 2 kids and the passenger was the couple who live down stairs son. At that point I knew I needed help. I got on the blue cross through unemployment and to the Doctors I went. It has only been the last 3 weeks I have been doing good. My friend next door took me to pick up my van because they had to replace the hood. A used hood was put on after the accident and the paint started bubbling up already, So they had to put a new on. As we were driving she told me she could see a difference in me along with her husband Jim in the last 2 weeks. I could talk about Pauline and not break out in tears. It is the anti depressant, a low dose, keeping me on an even Kiel. I miss her so much, but at the same time she wanted me to have a life to live again. It takes time, and set small goals, at first. God has a plan for you and when you are ready he will let you know the right path to be on. God Bless, may he bring you comfort to your broken heart and soul Dwayne

Thank you all, MartyT you are right ,I have always been a very strong person. Nothing could stop me once I started something I always finished it through to the end. I guess I needed all of you and the support to bring that back out after 5 months without my DEAR LOVING PAULINE. I watched the video I made for her early Monday morning as a tribute to her. It runs about 35 minutes and well over 200 photos of her and our life. From when she was a small child until almost the end of her life. I am so glad I had made that for her. Now it has tears falling down my face. I still have a long way to go. Again THANK YOU ALL God Bless everyone on HOV Dwayne

Dear Becky. I knew Randy would be with you the whole time. Just as Pauline was with me Monday. I don't remember if I posted. That I was dreaming of Pauline when they woke me up in recovery room. She was so happy and healthy in my dream. That is all I remember about it. It was great that you were able to have this awesome time in your life. Spent time with Randy folks. and your son with the rose was a very nice tribute for such a great guy, Randy. It is nice to have friends help you out while you were there. Glad You all did not melt from the heat. Friday my temp outside hit 106.4 and very humid, I went out early to water Pauline's Mimosas tree, and the mail. The rest of the time in the AC. Try to keep the group meetings, it is different than being on here. I found the combination of both meetings and HOV have brought me a long way in 5 months, along with a little medication, that has really helped me out a lot in my grief. It may not work the same for everyone, we are all different and go through things differently. Give it a go for a month or so and see where you are at in your grief. I pray for you it helps you out as much as it has done me. God Bless Tammy, may he comfort you heart and soul, and help you get through this hard time in Your life. Dwayne

Hi Everyone. Harry I do feel great. I am glad I waited until 2:30 to go home. At 2:00 I was getting dressed and felt a lot of pressure in my lower abdomen. I asked to speak to the nurse and when see seen me, she told me to get back to the room and they would ultra sound my bladder. I did and they did, I still had over 1000 CC of fluid in my bladder. So back goes in the Foley. She took out over 1200 CC and I stopped at the drug store I had to empty the leg bag again. After I got home I had to empty again. No blood clots so that is good. Now Friday AM I go to the DR to have it taken out. I am sure the plumbing will work fine then Thank you all so very much, you have made me a strong person again. I just hope I give what I get here. God Bless Dwayne

Tammy, I think you are doing great. I got a laugh also. Glad to see the determination and you went and got a pool , put it together and the kids will have a blast for the rest of the summer. WAY TO GO GIRL. Laughter is good medicine in itself. Have a great time and enjoy the moment. God Bless Dwayne

Melina, I did not realize you lived in Norway. This is a terrible thing that happened to your great country. Glad to her you are safe. I saw it on the news and I just cannot understand how people can have so much hate in them. I hope this is the last time something like this never happens again. My heart goes out to those people who lost their life, and most of all the children. You are in my prayers. Take care. God Bless you and all the people in Norway, bring them peace into their lives. Dwayne

Dave, I thank you for letting us hear your story, Death has no rhyme or reason it only is. You will be with Mike again. I lost the love of my life, best friend, soul mate, my wife, Pauline. Tomorrow is her 5 month anniversary of her passing. She had MS, we both knew that she would pass before me. We talked all the time. I thought I was prepared, but the day she passed, she was at home on hospice. I knew that morning at 4:00 am This was the day. When the hospice nurse came around 11:00 AM she said it would be 3-4 days. I staid with her and holding her telling her I loved her and 2:30 PM she mouthed I LOVE YOU TOO and then she was gone. As prepared as I was it hit me hard. 2 weeks after I got so sick for 2+ weeks. Health problem after another. I believe I at the end of that after tomorrow and the surgery. I know life doesn't seem far but as you found out Mike really did love you, and cared very much for you. I am sure he knew the changes going on in his body, and did not want you to be worrying about him. Grief takes a lot out of you, See your DR. and get on the right medication to help you get through this very hard time in you life. I try at least once a week to get to a hospice meeting. They help a lot to talk to people in person about your grief. I have cried many tears and so will you. Find out what is the best for you to help you get through this. I wish you well my friend. God Bless, may he bring peace onto you, comfort, your broken heart and soul, calm your mind and heal your health. I ask this in the name of Jesses Christ our lord and savoir. Dwayne

Dear Suzanne, Monday is 5 month anniversary of the love of my life Pauline. I find help where ever and when ever I can. I try to get to a hospice meeting once a week. I have been put on medication to help with the sleep and to calm me down. My hands and body shook like a leaf in the wind. I am on an anti depressant now and that has really help. I feel much stronger now and my mind is in a better place. I knew for years Pauline would pass away before me. Even though I knew it is still hard . I went back to our church we use to attend. I get help there also. Pauline and I are like one person, on soul, one spirit. I miss her every day. If not for the steps I have taken I would be miserable. Pauline did not want that for me. So for her I have made a plan to become a nurse, so I can help as many people as I can. Everyone goes through GRIEF different and at their own pace. God is with you now and will never let you down. Like the foot prints in the sand you can only see one set. That is because he is carrying you now until he puts forth his plan he has already laid out for you. Just like he has done for me. So will he do for you. Stay strong, never give up or give in. God Bless you, may he comfort your broken heart and heal you soul and spirit. Let him lift you on high. Dwayne

Mrs. B, I felt guilt more than any other emotion after Pauline passed. I was scared like you, we did get some money put aside in the last year of her life. It goes so fast even on the little things. She had already planned for spring an ordered herself some new clothes 4 weeks before she passed. I was able to send them back. As I checked her computer she had some new clothes on a wait list at a couple different places, shirts and pants. I went and ordered them all. I felt so guilty but I knew Pauline was waiting for her next check to get them for me. Knowing that it did ease the guilt. I did need the clothes. I never bought for myself on only if I really needed it. As I was making her DVD for her memorial, I seen all the shirts I have had for years. They were still in my closet, in good shape but old. I knew what she wanted for me, so I followed through. The guilt is gone now, I feel Pauline is around me all the time and taking care of me. God Bless Dwayne

Deb, I know Bob is watching over you like my Pauline is watching over me all the time. Each day I get better and stronger. The same will be for you. It is still too fresh of your loss. As days turn into months the Sharpe pain will ease. God Bless Dwayne

Cheryl, Good for you. You have the right attitude and spirit, stay positive, and ride, that wave into the soft sand of the beach. We all, will get there some day. Nicholas, I pray you will be having those good days soon. Stay strong, never give up or give in. We are all here for you as you struggle with your grief. God Bless, Dwayne

Mary, I hope that this finds you are doing better today. I know how frustrating it is when your computer isn't working right. I have been having problems with mine from time to time. After I feel better from surgery I plan to do a total re image on my computer. It will take me a day or two to get it back just like it came out of the box an then install all my software and data back on. Once I am done it will be running like brand new again. I wish you the best. I pray for you every day to get well and stay healthy. God Bless, your friend Dwayne

Hi, I got a call from the hospital, and surgery is set for 12:45 PM. I feel all the prayers and the positive thought you are all sending my way. I feel good and in very good spirits to get this behind me. I want to get on with my schooling although it scares me a little. I have not been in a classroom scene 1973. I am ready and I know I will do well and become a nurse so I can help as many people as I can. I just got a call from the hospital and I have to be there at 8:20 and surgery at 10:50 AM Thank you all God Bless Dwayne

Hi, You don't know me. My wife had MS for many years. I was her care giver the whole time. She passed away on February 25, 2011. Even though we both knew what her out come would be. I never gave up on her. Her last 3 weeks she was at home with hospice. I quite my job of 27 years to take care of her for what would be her last 2 1/2 years of her life. I have no regrets about any thing that happened. Now she waits for me in heaven, for when God calls me. Stay strong even though you see the end coming fast, she is still your mother and needs family around though this very hard time. I think if your brother is showing drunk and putting your mother in harms way. You should rethink the whole situation. I do not mean any thing bad, but it about your mother now. I will pray for God to give you strength and guidance, bring you peace and calm you heart and soul. God Bless you and your family, Dwayne

Cheryl That is great progress. You will have many more days to come. Bless you Dwayne

HI Wishful, We have all asked that same question at sometime in our GRIEF. I knew years before my love. bestfriend, my soul mate and my wife, Pauline would pass before me. Even though we talked about her passing a lot through the years. She had MS, when the end came she went down hill very fast. I thought I was ready and in my mind had except her out come. But the last 3 weeks as hard as I tried, God took her to heaven. I was a wreck. I have had a lot of health problems the last 5 months after she passed. I get a lot of help on here and my local hospice meetings. These people know what you are going through. I am sorry for your loss, just keep coming back and pour heart out. It does help. God Bless Dwayne

Mary, Thank you so much, I do feel the love, and I do have people in my life that I love. I feel very strong now and in the right frame of mind to get this behind me. I wish yoy better health to come your way very soon. God Bless Dwayne

Dear Becky, You will do just fine. Randy will have his arms around you all weekend. I believe that so much. Their body is gone but not their spirit. That always remains. I will pray for you and my thoughts are with you this weekend. Have FUN, ENJOY the this moment in time. You are strong and will be all weekend long. Please have a safe trip there and back. God Bless, may he give you peace and joy this time in you life. Your Friend ((HUGS)) Dwayne

Dear Mary, I know how you feel. I have not had sickness and health problems my whole life, as much as I have had in the last 5 months after Pauline Passed. I miss her so much. We were one, like one soul, one spirit. I pray I am at the end of my heath issues after Monday. I pray every day for your health to come back even stronger than before. Pneumonia is tough to get through. Pauline had it a couple time over the last 8 years. I hope you have seen the doctor and are on the right medication. You have been a rock here for me. I hope you know that. Drink plenty of fluids and keep eating what you can. I know it is very hard with out Bill. You can do it, never give up or give in to the grief. I wish I could be there to take care of you, and get your health back. God Bless Mary, may he give you comfort and keep you strong and give you better health. Your Friend Dwayne

Marc, I wish you the very best that this day has to give. I know your pain I feel your loss. God has given me the strength to keep moving foward. It is very hard at times. I pray for you today for our Lord to comfort your broken heart and give you peace on this day 1 year after, you lost the love of your life. God Bless you Marc, Dwayne

Thank you all very much for the wonderfull support I have gotten fron being with all you very kind people. You are all part of my life an family now, and will be for many years to come. This has been a God send to meet and talk with all of you anytime day or night. We are all In Gods hands and he will in time in his own way help each one of us. God Bless Dwayne

Dear Mary, I think this is a great idea. I wish them a healthy trip and Michael, will get to travel in spirit to these exotic places. Stay strong and keep going. Your friends are a lot like mine. Donna and Greg. They are my new family now and we are bless by the lord every day for our relationship. God Bless, Dwayne

Thank you everyone, It occurred to after I wrote my post that the day of my surgery is the 5 month date from Pauline's passing, also I should just be getting done with the surgery at or around her time of death. God works in many ways. This is my new beginning and yet I grieve so much for her. Thank you all and God Bless, let him heal our broken hearts and comfort our souls Dwayne