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It's on my short to do list. Thanks Mary

Sorry-responce. I was told that after 2 weeks you sit and write what their responce to your letter to them was or-them coming threw in spirit.

Oh sorry i meant did you feel you could write Bill's resonce.

I feel like i have no other choice, but thank you for the encouragement. Did it work for you? The letter writting?

Thanks Kay. I try not to take it personally it's hard though. I feel like i've made some good friends here

I will I plan to start Thursday when i don't have anywhere to go and i'll be alone. Also i was thinking afterwards would be a good time to try something i heard about online. Find a peaceful place and write a letter to your loved one. Put it in a drawer and two weeks later sit and write a letter of response from your loved one. Just write. Let it flow. I'll give anything a shot at this point.

I so love when i get signs like that. Must have felt so nice

Looks interesting will read it for sure tonight. Thanks Mary

Ok thanks Marty. I followed those other links and they were helpful. Thank you Still trying to get by, but i guess as i've been told-it takes time.

My friend in Florida didn't even know Marcus and she dissappeared now. I'm not a bad person. Just wanted to be happy with the man of my dreams

Kay, I don't know how i missed this, but very i think good timing all things concidered. Yesterday my stepfather said "well i see you're wearing the same pajamas. Could've guessed that". Really? Whatever. I'm so sick of comments like that. One month and i can't find anyone to show a little compassion here! Here not meaning this site mind you

Has anyone heard of the book " I Wasn't Ready TO Say Goodbye surviving, coping, & healing after the sudden death of a loved one by Brook Noel & Pamela D. Blair, PH.D. ? Just got it and wondering if anyone has read it and what they think of it. Thanks

What you said was beautiful Anne. Kay the words of your song are very touching.

Kay the doggie cookies look really good. I have a recipe too i used to make them around the holidays for my doggie clients. Super easy like yours. I love making little gift bags for humans and furry ones. Well....i used to anyway.

I hope you can find something closer. I'm sure not having to commute that far would be like retiring.

Oh wow! That is a huge baby. Good for cuddling and long walks i'm sure

Kay, It's so nice that George was so good to her. As you already know he did that because he loved you. Again you are lucky to have siblings. I don't. I know you're right about not needing validation of our relationship.It's just that it would feel nice for someone to say sorry to me. He was/is still my everything. I do get that here and from my therapist and i'm extremely grateful. It's really hard knowing so many people hate and blame me when all Marcus wanted was for us to be accepted as the loving couple we were. Perfect no, but perfect for eachother.

Katpilot, I'm sorry you're not talking with your brother anymore, but can definately understand why. I don't know if you read it, but i wrote about a client of mine had invited me over for coffee and she was always nice to me and had been divorced and just found someone new. I couldn't believe when she told me "when i find the right one i'll know why Marcus died" what!? Really!? Later she texted me and asked if i had any male friends to hang out with to keep me happy. I haven't spoken to her since. Kay, I'm with you on the tape!

I'm so glad you have your sisters and kids to talk to. I'm so sorry about your mom i can't even begin to imagine how hard that is to watch. Does your mom live close to you? I am seeing the therapist that Marcus had come to me with. I feel better after spending an hour with her cause she knew how much we loved eachother and knew our whole stories. Just wish it was more then once a week. I did get a book which arrived right after i was done texting Marcus's bitch sister. It's called I Wasn't Ready To Say Goodbye. The reviews lead me to believe it could be helpful for me. Well see though.

Ok i will try that. Thank you Mary. Kay, Arlie sounds like he can be a big mush at times. Gotta love that

There were lots of people who saw us and new as a happy couple, but they still all support Jen and her anger towards me. Carmel is a small town and we lived in the town over Patterson. Now i'm 45 min away at my parents house. I still have pet sitting visits up there, but mainly try to save money on gas and stay down here with my little crazy head (Luna) as Marcus sometimes called her. No one around here even knows me let alone me and Marcus together. We did come here with the girls for Christmas and met a few family members of mine and lots of my step fathers. No one has even said sorry or anything. Haven't even recognized that he died. Makes me mad. He was nothing, but nice and respectful to everyone. My parents work and most of the time it's just me and Luna oh and i have this site with you. Other then that i'm on my own :(

I wish i was. I know a lot of pressure for a baby to be my connection to Marcus, but i do wish i was. Things have happened though. Woke up to my phone going crazy with text messages from his sister. Jen's bestfriend. I think you would be proud of how i responded.

Hi Mary, I hope you are doing well with your busy busy schedule. I was wondering if you can suggest some meditation pieces to get me started. I have always had a hard time sitting still and just being in the moment as Marcus would tell me. I would like to learn though. We talked about it, but never got a chance to try it together. Whenever you get a chance i'd really appreciate it. If anyone here has any suggestions i'd love to hear them. Thank you Kristen

Thank you Fae and Marty The only group i found is in the hospital where Marcus was an EMT. Not sure if i want to go there. I will look at these links though.

Not really. I'm really mad that she has gotten away with what she has. I'm just fearful of messing up any chance with the girls. I could care less about her. In fact that was one of the last things Marcus said about her. "F*** her! I'm not giving her anymore money. She's on her own". She really is a piece of work. Personaly i think he should've done that a long time ago, but god he worked 18hrs a day and gave her tons of money!! ..... I would like to get to where i can let go and just say "she's not worth it and it's her problem. Let her carry her anger for me" i really would, but i am more like you Kay. I can't stand when people get away with crap like this. It's just wrong. Oh she's well taken care of now. She got everything from Verizon and his business and the whole town to help her with this kid. You know what's funny? I was just thinking before i read this-if i was pregnant i could try to get child support from her. Well she was Marcus's happy wife, right? She wants everything of Marcus's. I know. I think i'm just exhausted and really angry. I think my parents just want to move on. It's my life though. Marcus my life.