kevin

My plan is to head on down to Yuma next year, drive through the Canyon and West Coast it back.......I'll bring my Golf Gear and play it by ear. I'm sure within a year I will run into somebody who wants to do the same thing.......this is all bucket list stuff now

I got big plans tomorrow........ Hockey in the morning, and watching that "Whale Movie" at the theater alone. mid afternoon.....But a few stiff drinks when I get home.......

KayC.......What part of Oregon are you from?..........close to Eugene?......I did the Oregon coast highway drive once back in the 70's, that was remarkable ,,,,

Mitch had a post yesterday that I'm still chuckling about......refers to new day, same sh#t, describing it as Ground Hog Day.....It gets easier and easier, I rehearse the "how are you doing" courtesy's, any unsolicited advice I politely but firmly respond no thanks, and the well meaning friends "arranging or including me" decline with thanks anyway .........same thing over and over......but I find it easier.......

Trust was the biggest thing that weighted on me.....as Angela got ill, I assured her things were being taken care of and we would be joined at the hip.......Over the years, Angela regressed or changed to almost a Childlike adulation, what I did or said was Gospel......I tell you, that was a lot of responsibility and stress. She trusted me unconditionally, I don't think anyone will ever put me on that pedestal again(or do I want to be there again).........now the previous 25 years were volatile, fire and ice, ups and downs, never a dull moment.......but, we hung in through thick and thin. ........When I think of it, I feel Angela was short changed, but I know in comparisons to many others, she lived an interesting life,,,,,,,,,

KayC ..That is my neighbour, I call her the Deer Whisperer,........This my front yard, live on Washington/BC Border, probably about 300 miles North East of you.......and Marg, I found only a couple flowers they don't eat , Iris's, marigolds, and Pegonia's....and the young ones may try them...

That whole drug thing was a nightmare, we went through it twice(separate daughters)......almost a decade apart. This is when I get choked up, I see people, normally woman, work more than one job, put it all out there for the kids, and then Drugs shatter everything.. My heart is out there for the Parents ....the hidden victims......

There is only one way I will try live ,or direction I will try to live.......I have to remain in the present at all times ,if I slip into the past, or use the rear view mirror, I do experience grief . I will have a good cry at times of solitude, as most of us, attempt to do this in private. I know, in the future, undoubtedly, I will find myself engaging socially again. ......Its tough, and we gotta do what we gotta do.......all the best

KayC/Marg....you guys will appreciate these.......neighbour said, Kevin I'm still in my PJ's, but it is a good pic....Deer all over the place...and more snow...

There is that dreamlike area between sound sleep and awakening time......but it sure is confusing because I wake up in the "caregiver mode" and for a brief moment ,I sense or see her presence.......At first I was questioning my sanity, now it is acceptable...

I was unable to follow up on a couple of my plans because I slipped into memories and tears.......But as long as there is snow to shovel, Football and Hockey on TV, and anything else to keep my mind off the "Holiday"......I am fine. Gotta work a night shift Wed,, that will take care of another two days to get back to normal, then voila....2016, and we start all over again..........All I know, it could be worse, because for me, it was.....all the best

Just got more snow........shovelled neighbors first, he has heart thing going on....but it is light fluffy stuff..........Marg I'm going through the relocation thing now.......but I will hold off until Spring. I think it will take a year or more to sell my house........And then my Animals(dog and cat) have to be considered.......Marg, I understand the benefits of renting, I might even do it short term..... later

LaNino? is supposed effect us in the West.......warm Pacific water around the equator. Warmer than normal and wetter than normal. We have this Arctic high setting up for New Years and expect -10 for the cold day.........Until now, weather has been about average....ps still keep my shovel inside the front door.....take care

God Bless Everyone...and Stay Healthy

All most over , and it went so much better than I expected. I was planning on doing some scrap booking but it didn't materialize as I teared up within 5 minutes(but the prep is ready)........But the cooking went good, Church/Carols went good, all my family contacted me.....not Angela's(that will change in time)....I contacted about five old friends........and watched many Movies. My major success is only had one "Captain's Morgan" stiff one, the rest were super Light beers......I thinks that may have helped. Weather man says turning cold and back to Sub Zero.......now to get ready for New Years

At least all Government employees, all major companies, whether union or non union, have the bereavement clause. The 3-4 days that the Federal government allows only demonstrates the Universal Ignorance of not understanding of what Grief actually is............A Medical Professional should be in the return to work process, this removes some subjectivity and should be part of a Return to Work Standard......(EAP).

Gwen.......that was a very well written and thought provoking article. I re posted and shared on my FB timeline. Brought tears to my eyes , last two lines......thanks kd

Maryanne and others, its not the Supervisor who is 100% at fault.........It is the Management and the Supervisory Training that is at fault .......My confessions of a 35 years Supervisor/Middle Management type, I had no idea what impact the loss of a Spouse or infant child had on the individual. I feel so bad about the three day bereavment policy negotiated in our collective agreements , the same for an uncle or a spouse, all weighted the same. Never taking into account the real element and significance of the Grief......I think today you should need a review ,before returning to work after the loss of a Spouse .......and of course , no loss of pay. This is to ensure the Employee and the Employee Assistance Program have been utilized......before a problem can be resolved, Management, has to recognise the magnitude of the problem...eg..(air traffic controller,pilot,medical aid/crane operator),............

Gin, my wife has been gone 5 months today, last week I visited my four kids and Angela's name was only brought up once in awhile(Step Mother) . It was not out of disrespect of Angela only fear I would put a wet blanket over everything if the conversation went to Angela........Everyone loves the best of the Past, and it sounds like your husband gave them a lot of good years........think good thoughts

Good morning and Merry Christmas, went to Church last night and cooked Turkey.........House was lit up like" Chevy Chase" would do......all transparent and hollow without Angela to share it with, but it does ease the sting........now to savour some of the Captains best....take care and be careful....

Gwen, you wrote a sentence there that actually sums up this forum "But knowing I am not alone keeps my sanity in check"......such truth and clarity.......And Brad, without the knowledge and sharing from this group ,I know I would still be a basket case with a continuous hangover. I definitely am looking at things progressing forward ..Now, with that said, why am I still up at this hour?......have a good Christmas Eve

I'm hearing great quotes lately, and I relate them to our Journey. What I picked up today was pretty simple..".you can't live your life by looking out your rear view mirror"..........I think the grateful dead summed it up once...mind you they were talking about music..." you can't live in the past, but you can't forget old friends".......two steps forward.....Have a good evening and all the best....

KayC.......wet snow like cement...perfectly said. Years ago the wet snow also took down a fibre glass deck roof I had on Christmas Day, heard a crash, and couldn't open the back door.......Best snow was that northern powder, used one of those super big "sled" shovels ,,,pushes/slides a lot without much effort............. Driving down town to find a small Turkey........the Dog and I will feast for a few days......Hope your power stays up more than its off.......