Gwenivere

Yes, thank you, Kieron. I’m kinda drowning in information, but every bill helps. So much is my fatigue about all the paperwork and I can’t name the times for everything. What an ordeal this is for you kay. I can’t imagine how you are handling this. I read how you are and am amazed. I’d be telling my neighbor to take the dilly bars for his help. 🙂 When I woke up my eyes were really messed up. I also had a dream about Dee that was intense and will take a long time to fade. Why can’t the semii good ones stick? I finally talk to the surgeon tomorrow. I’m wondering if anyone knows how someone lives with constant pain. I’m wondering how the person with it can. Testing iPad holder.uncrsitting up to use it. I’m not sire this will work as it does raise my head, but the bend is still there and everything is still as blurry. Talk to the surgeon Thursday about living with chronic pain. All stuff I’ve written about so much about. Bent way over or sitting up straighter makes no difference. The bones don’t move. All I can emphasize it’s not possibles. Then we are done. He’s too cruel. I’m not sure he will call them into my mail order pharmacy because they did something he didn’t like. I don’t know what I’ll do as I don’t like about any aspect of my life. Found my computer ad printer are problems and need the Geek Squad out here. Oh joy! I need it for printing. Pls I don’t not like having a backup for the iPad. Gotta get through today first and foremost. Watching the new Matrix movie. Not sold on it, but all we got. Temps really dropping for days. My hair needs repined, but if I can get a shower, best to wait as it’s hard to do. I need inches cut. Such once simple things.

I don’t know what happened yesterday but I kept losing posts. The software also brought up my profile today for some reason so I got trapped in there. Hopefully today will go better. waking up was it’s usual depression and not knowing where to turn. I honestly don’t know who to seek help from. Both physically and mentally. I don’t want to feel life isn’t worth living. I also don’t want it a regimen either. Monday night I couldn’t think clearly and don’t know how to describe it. If I could at least leave the house it would make such a difference. If I could do more here it would help. I spend my day alone,, in pain and taking pills. Feeling sick from the side effects. I can hardly read much with these glasses. I can’t muster motivation to pursue solutions. It was another day Dee got in a loop about questions were been over so much. I found myself pulled in yet again. I’m so sad she’s so judgmental I have to keep my mouth shut so as to avoid questions/talks we’re already had she forgets. Wow, this is getting nuts. I was joking with her about her root beer float, but she took it as judgmental and was going to show me pics of 2 best friends and withdraw the offer to punish me. She doesn’t communicate like a normal person. How does someone misunderstand teasing and also bring up how I say cruel things abut others? I have no idea what she is telling her buddies as she’s said they think I’m bad for her. She won’t tell me who or what they’ve said. I’ve answered all her questions honestly even when they have no bearing on hand. We grew up totally different, but mine was somehow shallow and bad. Sorry for all the verbage. I don’t know how long it will take to get a care diving team in here. I actually got the guy I want to hire after this craziness's,, but it could take weeks. Man while no showers as well. I feel awful. How does someone do this? Can’t do a ed one in mine with my back. Better get to bed. She won’t help like she diid. My 💕 to you all.

My posts eep disappearing. I spent all day on the phone or meeting with home care. If Dee leaves I will need them. Yes, Karen, this is no way to live. I don’t have the energy to do this a 3rd time. I’m s frustrated I can hardly read with these glasses. I’m just fed up with all. I spent another day on the phone about more problems. I just want to sleep and even that is a problem with restless legs or neural pain. I just want out of here. I never hear anything good. Never. Every moment in pain. Can’t wait to see what to see what the surgeon says. That’s ultimate sarcasm.

I don’t know what to do. I know living like this is not healthy. I’m trying to.figure out why everything goes wrong. @

Ana, you wrote a perfect summation of what this is like. It’s so much lonelier as just about everyone in our lives do not understand it. No where to turn so oftrn.😓 kay, I’m so sorry.

I didn’t see a lot of Dee last night. She was here this morning which I wasn’t sure she would be. She opted not to stay elsewhere tonight which has me pulled in 2 directions. It’s the not knowing if she thinks of something she wants clarified. It’s not even that, it’s I can’t do it how she wants and we get in loops. She wants answers to every of her questions but won’t answer mine about sources, or why, whatever. I know head injuries factor into this but personality too. Last night did have something I can see misled her by how I had expressed it. It’s her anger and delivery that show me she doesn’t process disagreements like most people. It's been an odd day. Little to watch, back feels worse, apprehensive about the evening. Ate part of the church dinner, not enjoyable as I wasn’t hungry. I’d have skipped it but I don’t want to lose weight. Dread any moving around as days pass. Maybe it’'s the drop in pain meds, butt I’m really on edge from the pain and atmosphere here now. When Dee got home she told me about some positive feedback she got about 10 times. I was too leery to saw she told enough. I need to run this by my counselor. She seems to need lots of attention. She’s back to doing our routines but, as I said, I’m on edge now., and not much. I still care very much for her and need her. I’m seeing she doesn’t understand understand/maybe not care to/capable of chronic pain. Going to be a mucked up week for having lunch and laps. My oxygen is dropping too low.. the pain gets worse. As always the fear is this will never end. Even sitting is getting worse.

Oh Kay, this is so scary! Any idea how long before you have an idea which way this is going to go? Are they putting out updates regularly? I hadn’t thought abbot readers. I’m so messed up living in chronic pain. I don’t even know if my insurance will pay anything for PT, much less. at home. I’m guessing no even tho I need a oxygen. It’s so complicated getting what I need, tho I haven’t read anything about how much PT can help chronic pain. I had it in rehab and it was basically walking. A couple times up and down some stairs. I talk to my surgical PA this week, maybe he can shed more light.t on this. Because she cares deeply about me, Dee got all over me for not doing enough. I allowed her to make me feel awful. On thinking on it I see she doesn’t see how unique a situation this is. Today I’m angry. It was the delivery. I haven’t decided if I want to go thru the discussion again. I want to see what the PA says this week. It’s quite obvious she doesn’t get my situation. T Tonight she is angry about somethings she misunderstood from when I used to email her at bit. It’s the one month anniversary of her friends death and she is in pain, but showing me how well she can can hurt back. We were fine yesterday eventually and it is happening again. She is certain about conversations that I recall all over the place. I don’t want to drag this on more. It looks like Dee is going to leave. I blame mental problems. I can’t do this alone. She inflicted more pain on me than I could have imagined. I don’t know what I’m going to do now. I’ll have to hire someone. My world is crumbling. 😰. I wrote the above about her before it got bad last night. She’s staying elsewhere tonight.

I knew it would be another day as they all are becoming. Hungry but know how.much work it will.be getting thru it. Same old reruns on TV. Same old sitting here with my head in my lap. Have to make decisions about meds and face the reality of this not working being here and the fear of that. A lot of interaction today but mostly paid for. Hear about the world thru other people. Knowing high heat is coming and I’ve written this paragraph so many times making many mistakes I always take an hour to do it. Can barely reach it with these old glasses that cause uneasiness. Got something in the mail about my oxygen company getting hacked and all kinds of things I should do. I can barely read the letter. Had to rewrite my med list for Dee to fill some pills for a week. I rely on predictive typing doing this. 2 more nights on tis frustrating HBO show. We just want a few questions answered and move on to something else. Conversations in this show aren’t even close-to normal. Today is supposed to be 90 degrees. Sunday close too. Jus t c aught a glimpse. Of my hair. Really needs repining. Another once easy task. Hope-the weekend is quiet for everyone. 💕

UFridges are tough during power outages. A whole day will be a challenge. Thank you.both for saying it’s not me in this disappointment. I shoulder it as I question decisions I’ve made. I always weighed every. aspect and made the best. This time it didn’t work as far as I know. But it could have. I feel I just put off the inevitable. Now I’m stuck with hardware. I just wonder if I could have saved myself some extra misery and not added longer time in this exaggerated pain. Mostly not have stuff in me that has definitely permanently altered me and I can’t get rid of. ash I couldn’t get a bag of chips down fro above the fridge, even with the reacher. I I just wanted to cry. I felt awful during our TV time. Dinner sat hard. I couldn’t get into my bank-account and had to call tech support. When Dee brought my pain meds my doc already slashed halfa pill from the amount so I have to figure out where. I’m figuring TV time after the up and downs or inactivity of the day. Tho it’s inactivity the rest of the es Guess I should go kill time before sleep. Knowing I will hate when it comes. Actually a couple hours before I have to get up and face it. Housekeeper, my counselor and doubt much laps. Or later i the day. Can do some right after lunch like usual. Got frustrated messages from the surgeon. I’d give anything to have a day with even a little less pain like I had in rehab. It’s pretty obvious iit takes all your attention and boring to be. around. I’d skip my own posts. .

Filling o& the AM pill boxes for 3 weeks. The the weekly daily ones when I get my pain med pills by the weekend. Spent hours on the phone trying to get the right p(one numbers. Gave that up. What I cant believe is what they charge foo tasks. The ironic things got a call from my insurance wanting to know how they were doing. An attempt to appear like they care. What kind of insurance doesn’t pay a dime for PT ? A copay I get on meds. I had to call Apple for my iPad messing up. It just decides to do weird things overnight. So I call on turn on or off options I’ll never remember. My DVR locked up recording looking for internet it never had. My cordless phone died. Got it going again. Dee tried opening the storm door glass and it came out of the track. All these anomalies are i bizarre. Apple actually called back which support services they nnever do and I have a cead phone. It,'s hard sharing a home on opposite ends of the spectrum. Dee’s out all day with people and wants to chill out. I’ve had no communication so I want to talk, tho I don’t have much to share. I don’t know how to have normal conversations. I can talk about the past and what’s been on TV. I can’t sit outside but there’s nothing *going on out there. I so miss a friendly neighborhood. I hear cars coming and going but don’t anyone anyone. I know no one gets the constant pain and it’s a very dull subject. I listen to people who their plans for walks, shopping, lunches and hair trims. I just wander around lost in here. I'd love to just talk like I used to. Like people do every day. Like I used to. I don’t even try to sit up straighter any more. Everything is getting harder to d o. Ive never been so disappointed in myself.

I’m totally lost on my posts. I turn off my iPod every night and often don’t know if it’s coming up to date here. Ive just spent a couple of hours trying to connect with home health agencies. Should be hearing more Wednesday. 1 got so frustrated just calling 2 places all afternoon. Missed calls, phone tag. Should e getting somme deeper call backs today. Biggest problem iid finding a nurse. Even bigger is any care. at home I need I have to pay for. Insurance has bowed out. It really has become a crime the care that country has. It’s more about money than health. Eery night I go to bed feelI just killed time. That’s accurate too. I don’t know how I’m ever going to find a way to fee this is worth it. Dreading creating a care system. I’d like to be looking up interesting things. Daytime TV II never needed is.a challenge. Dee and I going to quit the world news we watched with David Muir because as it’s overly depressing. We catch the big stories as it is. We’re watching an HBO series we are hooked on, but never would recommend it as it’s too dark and we want to know answers to the plot. Waiting on 1883 for some good entertainment. Never thought I’d see TV would be see needed. I cant concentrate right now on reading with so much unsettled. Getting some helpful PT and eventually off the pain meds would be so wonderful. It feels too much to wish for. I hope not. I like laughing and don’t remember it.

I’m not sure what to make-of today. It’s my first in this environment. Last year I was in the hospital for my first surgery. Just starting this crazy road. Not as burned out. I’ve never been alone at night here at this time. I’ve never been without Mel. I can say it’s very depressing. Adds more to it being over a year now without her.it’s the first time I’m in this house totally alone. The parakeets are here but they aren’t interactive companions. Dee is out to dInner so I’m not used to that either. not making much of an effort to try sitting up straight. It hurts a little less to do what is worse. Trying to get down more saltines and potato chips was difficult. I tried to figure out the reminders of how long the rest of my investments would last at this snails place of recovery would last,, but I kept getting outsmarted by the calculator. Brains too scrambled. So frustrating when you feel useless anyway. We had a good evening talking and watching a new show. Had trouble with my oxygen tubing when I first woke up and so zoned out. Getting back to sleep was hard. Then I was out il the alarm dreading actually having to get up for real.. I have to find a nurse, PT and bath aide. Gotta get something going this week. I don’t have a list for that. The one I have iis more for companionship. I need medically licensed people. Friday the housekeeper is coming and I have counseling. That’s going to be hard to combine. Privacy and noise. So hard knowing your day is going to be horrible and you have to do it. That it’s no use calling your doctor. Making phone calls you’ll hate. .

I so miss having connections to my past life. I’m not mistreated much, just never hearing from hiis brother or my cousin much. I don’t know what I’d n to say as it is.. it has been a long time on that topic after 8 years for outsiders. I doubt I’d bring it up to someone unless there was some reason. There are times I would just like to say i I miss him and get some caring. The fact I don’t come to mind in general is what hurts. A woman I don’t even consider close and I have a short Zoom call every week.

These are the kind of things I leaned on Steve’ for. They aren’t very hard but not my thing. I miss Having a built in handyman between him and neighbors. I don’t know what’s going to happen with Dee. She’s so stressed out and. I’m not sure she want to stay here. It’ has been months we’ve meant to have her moved in, but impossible with me gone. There’s also her van she lived in she wants to keep which II understand. It’s a whole different mindset being thru that. If she can get dependable, it can an be in the driveway. It’s where she was living before and it’s gotten quite dramatic as that woman wants her back. We really cant go further til this is solved. I admit, this scares me. I’m dealing with a background that is alien to me and I would miss her so much. The. thought of hiring someone as a companion is so cold. She brought up so much last night I told her she needs to make a decision as I’m not going to keep analyzing everything. It’s time to move in a direction L'm getting tired of feeling sick. I thought it was all physical but now I see how the emotional .side has become enormous. Being dropped by home health is tough. More and more things that make me feel discarded. It’s hard to keep fighting for yourself. Why can’t things be consistent for longer than a few months like they were with or partners? It wasn’t lonely. It wasn’t a battle for purpose. The only people I know that don’t feel that never had it. They are who II envy now. I’m so sad right now. Life is so messed up. I can’t do anything to create experiences and memories. I know that is one huge change on the plans of me coming home. I don’t have anything to offer anyone. That feels terrible. 😰

I woke up way too early realizing I’m really on my own now. The home health may have not been perfect, but I had someone to call. Of course it would be a holiday weekend. Have to wait an extra day trying to find another agency. It’s the start of another long day and also a weekend so even the isolation feels worse as I cant do anything productive like phone calls. Yellowstone is running a marathon, lots of family and romance. Dee’s out to wherever. I called my counselor as I’ve been so anxious around Dee. Jinny said my reaction was normal and to tell her it’s going to take time to recover from the trauma. Thinking of doing that makes me stressed. Had to message my doc for more pain killers and possibly a nurse til I can hire one. The stress of this week has me feeling worse. I’m in so much pain and on edge. I diid tell Dee this is going to take me time to recover from. Was a rough day from bad sleeping. I’m hoping I’m not losing that. Had to write in to my more pain meds and hope I can handle going lower. Going to try and relax and hope i get some much needed sleep. Back was bent more all day by tasks I chose. Almost fell moving from the couch back to my chair after movie time. Really challenging days. Hpe things are better for everyone. 💕

I am having a hard time with the episode with Dee. I’ve never been the target of such a thing. I'm trying to unhear what I can’t. We’ve had one day to try and get back to how things were. It’s going to take time. I already feel overwhelmed today with a nurse coming with the bath aide. I’d like cancel it, but I don’t know how long it will take to find another. I’m in my early day overwhelmed mood. I’ve made no progress cutting the pain meds. I’m officially out of insurance covered home health.so next week will be finding help. The nurse offered no more help than they ever have. Assisted living, group homes, blah blah. The thing is I know that is the inevitable. I left another message for my doc if it’s even possible i I’ll ever walk without a walker or less pain. Those never answered messages until an actual appointment which isn’t till the 15th. My anxiety is so far out of control. This week was way too much. Add in the ER. I need to schedule a counseling session. In big letters on my list this weekend. She doesn’t know about these problems. Can hardly walk tonight. It’s becoming concerning pain where my my torso is always bent over. I can even feel laying down what a deformed torso I have laying down. Just gets me I walked into that hospital and this is the result.

Dee got drunk last night. She is an alcoholic and an ugly one. I was stunned how cruel she could be verbally. She was more than humble this morning and already left as we decided to talk later. We had our talk and my biggest question was if she meant things she said. She said no. She’s had some horrid experiences, but still no excuse. I kept it as simple as possible, but said what I needed to. No bringing up details. I don’t now how this will go forward.. I know it’s the grief of losing her friend and I was in the ER. She’s gone 3 years. Maybe I’m nuts, but I want to give her another chance. I feel sick and the mail brought another large bill from rehab. PT is coming by at 2 and I don’t care with this other stuff. Friday a nurse and shower aide are coming. Now I have to hire my own. Insurance paid for the transition. I pay for help now. Have to hire a couple people for hygiene and PT. Got to get thru today being discharged and hire new people on my dime. I might be able to get some prescribed. A challenge for another day.

Thank you all. His isn’t looking like a situation PT can fix. There’s too much other stuff. Now the not being able to breathe, walk without pan, heart pounding, eating difficult for swallows, the bloating unlivable anxiety. I’m sitting here scared to dial those 3 little numbers. Am sitting in the ambulance bay as there are no rooms. Smart EMT got my wifi going. Ive done it before, but never so stressed. This is super uncomfortable. The FD medics didn’t think they’d be able to do anything for me and I think they’re right. There are other ambulances here that could be waiting for rooms too. I had some peanut butter and feel like I need the bathroom. I can live without these experiences. AC freezes, burning up without. I seem to keep finding the nightmares. I guess what I want to know is if my heart is OK. The bloating is causing so many problems. I’m tempted to just go home. Inside now. Just waiting for test results and Dee to come get me. Just getting a muscle relaxer and suggestions for PT. Just want to know test result's. Doc thinks the bloating is the pain meds which makes sense. Now I have to deal with Dee as she is flipping out. Too close to have losing her other friend. I hope I can calm her down. This is weird I’m more stressed out by her than the huge hassle this is. At least I know what to expect for this kind of decision in the future. Great! Had to redo blood! Now I’m getting very anxious to get out of here. So much to do to settle in at home. Got absolutely no exercise today. Getting stressed out more about Dee than this. Dee had a meltdown last night and it was very difficult to handle. I have some very strong concerns. The actual ER experience was about what I expected. Nothing they could do but check things checked before. I’ll see what PT says today. I had to do the ER for some assurance. Now it’s ack to the surgeon about how bad this is getting. I’m on the hunt for my purse as I took my ID but not it. Can’t have gone far. This is when I wish ER's could help me like they used to. Going to have to see if I can handle a shower Friday. Might be awhile til another. This week has been hell. Still more to go. I’m also worried how it will go. I’ve never seen Dee so strange. I’m really worried if she will let me sleep.

Another day. Another wondering why I’m here. AC already running so LR cut off. I’m in my usual what do I do phase. I don’t know who to call as I’ve done them all. Biggest being the doc about the pain. How can I at least ease it? I noticed last night when I took my med I actually feel uncomfortable. Isolation is a cruel torture. Even when we go out alone, we are with others. You can see them, interact if you want, but most you see you are not alone. I see how I change when.even someone medical that comes by. People say they need to get away, but they go out in the world. Dee doesn’t really help that as I have no choice. She goes out.for alone time, but she can always change her mind. I know that’s why I’ve gotten worse since leaving rehab. No people around even if unexpected. When I look at the rest of my day, I see 16 hours til I go to sleep. The TV on, don’t get fully dressed. I know no one is thinking of me unless it’s something for revenue or waiting for me to make a decision on medical stuff. It’s a crazy analogy, crazy person here, but even cons get 3 times a day with other people. It wasn’t maddening when I could go out too. Talking on the phone doesn’t do it for me. I listen to all Dee does while she is gone. She brings us home fun stuff. Wish I could hunt around and find new things. Anyway, my point is you have more options than realized at the time. Gonna be hot and terribly painful today. Why do I even bother typing that? Have my hospital bag set to go today. We decided going by ambulance will get me in faster if I do. I can’t keep just calling the docs.

Our heat starts Tuesday. Nothing like you, Karen. We’re wimpier. Maybe if we had actual AC. A nurse came by for a check. Informed me time is running out for their transitional services. The case worker talked to me about in home health care to replace them. Also assisted living and adult homes. Pages of resources. They can’t recommend anyone and that annoys me. It’s like being thrown in the ocean and hope you get a good life preserver. I break into tears talking to anyone now. I got edema coming home. It could cause problems. I was in such better shape in rehab. Ironic, and very much complicates every hour of my life since being here. Now that my life isn’t close to what it was, all these new decisions are more than overwhelming. Decisions I don’t want to make. I was wondering why I was having a harder time sleeping and it’s because I’m getting an hour more. Lost my pre dinner nap. My rhythm is totally messed up. Some things just are unhappy being moved and don’t adapt. I’ve done it, but it never feel right. Had a good talk with Dee. after the movie. Will have-to see how the news I got hits today hits today about the next slew of phone calls about home health hits. Doing them wil be even more fun, I’m sure. Gonna be a long afternoon in the heat. I know you’ll cross my mind a lot, Karen! 🌞

I’m experiencing so many things with no tether to someone familiar. We had a fight last night and I had no one to talk to about it. I don’t know how to live so handicapped and with someone I’m not more in tune with, I am finding.. We usually sit in the living room together.. I just spent an hour in a huge anxiety attack. Part triggered she was in a bad mood. She usually talks to me about her day more but I feel I’m annoying her. I had no idea how starving I am for connection. She did what she wanted. I want to do that. Other nights she has been crying afraid she doesn’t mean enough to me. THIS is why I’m so confused. The friend she lost just as important. Maybe we just moved this too quickly ,but it felt normal. This is why I have to write these out. No, we ran into obstacles and tackled them immediately. Now we have the death and we all know how that mucks up everything when that joins our life. That wasn’t there when we were beginning this journey. I brought the physical and she unexpected emotional extra. We talked tonight and got more up on track. Some social worker coming by today an hour after I get up. That won’t go well. I’m not coherent. Later in the week is PT and a nurse during my shower. Going to be very hpt so don’t know how I’ll do my laps. Hopefully more big anxiety attacks and some worthwhile sleep. Captive in the palace again. Waiting for summer to end. Makes it easier being stupid in here make more sense. Here comes September.

We talked about there wasn’t an answer to this. We loved each other too much to want to feel the pain of the loss of the other, precisely where we are now. We didn’t look at it selfishly. Hs hard for anyone to not see it that way. I still feel as II did the moment it happened - this was a mistake. It was supposed to me. We want to take their place. It’s denied. Now I’m left behind and handicapped. And alone. Is this better than being dead? We’d always say……if you really love me , you wouldn’t make me live without you. Maybe we were weird sounding to you, but that’s how we looked at it.

Karen, i never know what to say after everything you have faced and are know etched in your heart. You are amazing to me. It’s so cruel what was dealt to you. Death is ugly, but it should go n a natural flow and that would never take a child first. Your husband suffered much too long. I wish I could bind myself to what I saw. I can’t recall so many things I’d like to, but we cannot escape those visions. Much love to you. 💕

I've been doing a lot of thinking about how my life isn’t remotely as it was. Very few people that were for decades. I expected people would change around, but everyone of significance? And disappear too? I really care for Dee, but I don’t know how to adapt to a brand new person not connected to anyone else in my whole life. You usually add to an existing foundation . I get becoming friends, but this deep caring I’m very confused by. I think it’s because life had a flow to it. Add in we can’t do anything outside of here. It’s not a normal friendship. I’ve never wanted to talk to my once friends and family so desperately.. It’s becoming the feeling dependent on her. Of course we have friendship times. She wants me to be who iI am, but I’m trying to figure that out myself because I don’t know anymore,. I haven’t for so long. I so miss I had been achieving a livable state about 16 months ago. I could at least exist in a more 'normal' grief. Melody filled the voids. So it’s hard trying to be there for Dee while I sort out how I keep going. I know people meet late in life, and it can become very intense, but it’s a new experience for me. I never thought I’d be the last one standing in my world.

I knew today was going to be a weird, challenging day. Shower is done. Housekeeper I haven’t seen in a year was here so lots of catching up. House definitely needs attention. Can’t get it done in one day. There was so much I used to do. I can’t do my normal routine with Larenna here. As Dee said before she left, will be glad when tonight is here. Be done with all we had to do. She’s picking up her friends ashes. I had to navigate around Larenna. It’s was 15 degrees cooler yesterday. Felt wonderful. Really can’t wait to get rid of the summer stuff and get some room back and stop isolating in the LR. Not putting my hospital gown os early. I sure wish I could go out during the day. I’m always writing down channels to fill my day. As usual, I’ll wake up wondering how I’ll do this another day. Everyone I know goes and does stuff. Even if I could even in part, there are the pain meds. No driving. I’m in my home but not free. This is what happens to communication skills. You become repetitive and nothing new. It’s why II was so amazed Dee wanted to know what SHE meant too ME. I feel like I’m so boring to be around. I know I am to me. another weekend. Even more challenges killing time and movement frustration. Except for entertainment, it really makes more sense to live in rehab.