missingcharlie

My mother in law and I will be there. It would be nice if we could find a way to meet up. I'll be looking for Dusky, too! Hugs!! Patti

Tomorrow will be 4 years without my beloved husband, Charlie. I still miss him so much!! Things in my life have changed a lot since I lost him. It's crazy what different paths you take... The thing I am most thankful for in my life (besides my daughter & grandkids)is the time I had the privilege of being a part of Charlie's life. It was absolutely the BEST!! (and I miss that terribly) He taught me so much in life - he made me a better person. Something I will always be grateful for. I hope you all have the best day possible. Hugs from me to all of you!! Patti

Kath - Wanted to tell you how much, what you wrote, touched me. I thought you put that very nicely. I've been missing Charlie for almost 4 years (Nov. 16th), now and I TOO still hurt deeply sometimes.... Think I always will. Hugs to all!! Patti

Deborah - ABSOLUTELY!! I will light a candle for your Larry. Whenever I see your name on here, I always remember our "bond"! I hope you are doing as well as possible. Hard to believe that "that day" is coming up again... Can you believe it's been 3 yrs for you and 4 for me? Time goes by so quickly! Hugs to all! Patti

Kim or Marty or anyone that knows... Can you tell me more about the Hospice of the Valley candle lighting ceremony on Nov. 16th? That day marks my beloved husband, Charlie, being gone from my life for 4 years - I would LOVE to pay tribute to him. I'm in AZ and know where Steele Indian Park is - what can you tell me? Did he have to be in Hospice in order for me to go and do that or is it for anyone who wants to light a candle for someone they have lost? Please let me know. I, too, would love to meet you, Kim, since you were not able to attend the lunch we had earlier this year. Hugs to everyone!! Patti

Congratulations Kim!! That is quite the accomplishment - very proud of you. We will miss having you here in AZ....Maybe our "group" here in AZ can get together, again, before you leave (since you couldn't make it last time). We should plan that!! Is everyone here up for lunch again?! Hugs to all Patti

Awww! I think this is so exciting and sweet! It is truly wonderful that the two of you have found each other. My hopes and prayers are that you both with have a long and happy life with each other - you absolutely deserve it!! Hugs to all. Patti

Deborah - know that all of us are thinking of you and hoping the BEST for you as you weather the storm!! Just remember that Larry IS there with you; helping you get through this and taking care of you and the dogs. Hugs to you! Patti

I wasn't sure whether any of you have ever read this - it's a poem by Ruth Ann Mahaffey. To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say... but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay. I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above. Here, there's no more tears or sadness; here is just eternal love. Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight. Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night. That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through, God picked me up and hugged me and He said "I welcome you". "It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone. As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on. I need you here so badly; you're part of my plan. There's so much that we have to do to help our mortal man". God gave me a list of things that he wished for me to do. And foremost on the list was to watch and care for you. And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight. God and I are closest to you...in the middle of the night. When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years, because you are only human they are bound to bring you tears. But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain. Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain. I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned. But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand. But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er. I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before. There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb, but together we can do it by taking one day at a time. It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too, that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you. If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain, then you can say to God at night.."My day was not in vain". And now I am contented that my life has been worthwhile, knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile. So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low, just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go. When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind, I'm walking in your footsteps, only half a step behind. And when it's time for you to go from that body to be free, remember you're not going, you're coming here to me. I love this poem. Makes me cry every time I read it! I can just picture my sweet, dear husband saying this to me... I hope you all enjoy it!!! Hugs to all Patti

One of my very favorite songs! It was originally done by Bread (back in the 70's for all you younger peeps) I cried all the way through it.... Hugs to all. Patti

That is great Derek! You certain conquered alot in that trip. And I am so happy that Carson finally got to enjoy Disneyworld. We're all very proud of you!!! Hugs! Patti

Kathy - Sounds like a good day, all 'n all. I know that spa felt wonderful and I am so glad to hear that you did something for yourself! After all...it was YOUR anniversary too and if Bill had been here I'm sure he would have bought that spa day for you. You deserved it!!!! Hugs! Patti

Hi Kay. Crazy, huh? Can't believe we've been on this website for so long.... November will be 4 years for me - and about the only people that "mention" it are his mom and his sister. As Bob said, I think WE are the ones that are supposed to remember. As YOU said, I will ALWAYS remember. He too was the absolute love of my life....and I miss him. Much love to you and as always...Hugs to you!! I know George is glad that YOU remembered!! Look forward to the day when you will be reunited with him - it will be a GREAT day for the two of you!!! Hugs. Patti

This is the 2nd sad day in June, for me. Charlie and I would have been married 19 years today. I will probably go and read a couple of my "old" anniversary cards and cry a little...my grandkids are here with me, so I can't spend a lot of time dwelling on it. I hope everyone has the best day possible! Hugs to all. Patti

We're glad you found us, Kim. The majority of us lost our spouses quite young. My Charlie was 46 when he passed away from cancer. 13 days later, I turned 50. It's now been 3 1/2 years and I still miss him so much, but I am getting on with life as I know he wanted. He and I didn't have any children together, but I have a 30 year old daughter and 3 wonderful grandkids that get me through every day. It is something you will adjust to in time. We are always here and ready to listen - we will help you through this very tough journey! Hugs to you and I too am very sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself - your family needs you!! Patti

Wow...seems like a lot of birthdays in June. My husband's birthday was this past Tues. (6/10) - he would have been 50. I went to the store and bought a colored balloon, brought it home and wrote a happy birthday message to him on the balloon, took it out in my backyard and talked with him for a few, then let it go. What would have been our 19th wedding anniversary is this Tues. (17th). I have some old anniversary cards that he gave me and I will probably read a couple of them and cry. That's what I usually do on our anniversary.... BUT I will be fine afterwards. Hugs to all of you!!!!! Got to get myself to work. Take care and have the best day possible. Patti

was wondering the same thing, myself, yesterday! Please let us know, Teny, if you and your loved ones are OK..... You are in our thoughts! Hugs to all. Patti

Kay - I, too, am so sorry. I have read your posts about your friend and her husband and how you've been at the hospital with them. You ARE a true friend and she will be so glad and lucky to have you "walk" this journey with her - having been through it yourself. I think, too, that the distance from the time you lost George until HER loss will be of great benefit to both of you. You are a stronger person now and that will be of great help to her!! Let her know she and her husband are in our thoughts!! Hugs to all. Patti

I don't think we ever stop counting. Today is 3 1/2 years for me. I can't believe I've been without my beloved, Charlie, for going on 4 years. Time has truly gone by quickly. Next month is my most dreaded...his 50th birthday would have been June 10th and our 19 year wedding anniversary would have been June 17th. He always told me he wouldn't be here for his 50th....he was right! Everyone have the best day possible. Hugs to all of you!!!!! Patti

Hi Lin! I, too along with quite a few of us on here, live in AZ. I live a LONG way from you...I'm in Buckeye. I love Cave Creek....Charlie & I have a Harley (that of course...I can't drive, so I "gave" it to my brother in law that loved my husband almost as much as I do/did) and we used to ride to Cave Creek. The love of my life passed away almost 3 1/2 years ago...so I can assure you, there IS life after (his) death. I'm not real happy about it, but I go on...mostly because I have my daughter, grandkids, in-laws & friends AND because I KNOW that living out the rest of my life is what Charlie wanted me to do. And that is what YOU will do - for similar reasons. You have children, you have friends (here if no where else) & that is what your husband would want you to do. I know right now you don't feel that or believe that, but it's the truth. Charlie was 46 years old. He would be 50 this coming June 10th - he always told me that he would never see the age of 50. We were together over 20 years and I miss him so much! I promise...you will NEVER stop missing him or loving him, but you will get on with life. You HAVE to. We are here for you. The people on this website are compassionate and truly understand what you are going through. We will "walk the road" with you! You can say or feel anything here and no one will judge you. The people, here from AZ, have met once for lunch. We are definately planning on meeting again - we would LOVE to have you join us. There are no plans made, yet, but keep coming here and we will keep you posted. Take care of yourself! You need to be there for your kids. Hugs to you and everyone here. Patti

Gail - Congratulations on the "upcoming" grandchildren. I have 3 and they are absolutely the best!!!! Scotty - I, too, am so sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. 4 months is NOT very long, so don't be too hard on yourself. What you are going though is very normal. I wanted to write and give you some hope.....next month will be 3 1/2 years since I lost Charlie; my best friend, the love of my life for over 20 years. It hasn't been easy, but I've managed to get through it. I still miss him so much - especially when I see couples doing things together...weekends are still tough. We used to spend every weekend together - even if we weren't doing ANYTHING; we just enjoyed being together. BUT I'm still here and moving forward with my life. It just takes time and you have to "bear with it!" Do what you can - don't rush things. Maybe it's too soon for you to give away your wife's things. It was 2 years before I could pack up Charlie's clothes. Take one day at a time..... Hugs to you. We're always here.. Patti

WOW, KayC! What you said really hit home. As the others have said, that just about sums up our loss. I hadn't cried in a while....THAT made me cry. Especially remembering how I felt when I got that unfeeling letter from the Social Security that proceeded to tell me that my marriage to Charlie had ended (in death, at that!). What a slap in the face!! I can remember being absolutely hysterical after reading that - just for the very reason you said....I didn't WANT to not be married to him. After almost 3 1/2 years, I am managing. I WILL survive this, but I still miss him so much. As you said, Charlie was MY best friend! Thanks for putting a spouse's relationship into prospective. Hugs to you and everyone here! Patti

If you double click on the picture it will come up a lot bigger. Starting from the far left.....John/Dusky, Patti/Missing Charlie, Patty (a lady that Kathy/Bebekat works with), Kathy/Bebekat, Bob/DesertBob, Jo/DoubleJo, Carol/Tori and her brotherinlaw Clyde. Kathy, Patty and I go to another widow/widower luncheon group together, so I know both of them.... It's the one that I mention every month, when I get a chance to go. We had a very nice time. We talked about John's book, mostly. I think a lot of us were interested in the fact that we have a book publisher amongst us. During that conversation we found out that Bob published a book once - I believe he said it was a technical book ('cause Bob is a "computer person") but hey...it's a book!! We talked a little about how our loved ones passed away, what we did for a living - ya know...just talked. It was very enjoyable and I hope that we will continue to get together atleast every couple of months. Gotta get ready for work. Take care everyone! Hugs! Patti

That dreaded November 16th!!! The worst day of our lives, huh Deborah?!?! Hugs to you! Patti

Yes, 3 years IS a long time without our loved one! I truly know how you feel, Walt. It will be 3 1/2 years without my Charlie May 16th. I still miss him SO MUCH!!!!! Hugs to you!!! Patti