Jackie - Richard

Apologies as i cant read all ( i will get very emotional ) as i too am still very much grieving over the losses of my three dogs, my fur-babies so i know the heartbreak you are going through...i too lost all three to that dreaded cancer, they were the loves of my life...and i still miss them like crazy... Keep talking to Parker, he will come back to say a farewell goodbye if he hasn't done so already, my babies did and i will treasure that forever...they came back to me separately in such a strange way that i know they are alright, there truly is an afterlife as i know what i saw was real... Jackie..

Shelbel... ...how you are feeling and how your body is reacting is our normal grieving process...oh how we wish we were not all in this sad situation of being in " the club nobody wants nor was expecting to join.." I lost my partner Richard of 20 years suddenly 11th April..i know i shall never get over his loss no matter how my future pans out now...he will forever hold a place in my heart even if parts of my heart have now been broken... Yes may our God give us the strength to carry on, and to give us some peace and comforting.. as our partner is now at peace but, we are not at peace... Jackie...

Shelbel... ...bless you, how could you have known...even your hubby did not know...you done everything that was meant to be done, you went with him to the emergency room, and urgent care...if the hospital medics did not pick up on anything how could you have done so... Jackie...sending a (( hug ))

David... ...i fully understand the " guilt " as i too was sitting in the office on the computer oblivious to the fact my Richard was dead sitting in his armchair in the living room, ( 11th April ) and although i had heard some noises, what i now know as arm tapping on the armchair, his hands were placed on the arms, and a noise of what i thought was him quietly walking in the kitchen not long before... had thought he was taking a mug or plate into the kitchen before making his half hour car journey back to collect our then dog from the pet groomers...i had the shock of my life when after the phone rung then stopped, i had gone in to investigate why he never answered it only to find my Richard ( age 74 ) dead to a heart blockage...I have to now forever live with this guilt of not investigating earlier or more so, why i never stayed in the front room, i would have been with him, maybe, just maybe, he would still be here now, if only... David, if it is any consolation, i keep telling myself that i didn't know and if i had, would it have turned out any different...maybe not...Although my Richard was always there for me ( i have MS) and the one time i wasn't there for him, i let him down, i failed him...Oh how many times i have cried and told my Richard how sorry i am, please forgive me, i just hope and pray that he CAN and DOES hear me... David sending you a (( hug )) Jackie...

Are we coming or going?

Gwen, oh how i sympathise with you, as i too have a serious illness that makes me think on the odd days that it is pointless in carrying on, it should have been me and not him, as you see...I have Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis, yes diagnosed four years ago at age 64 on the same date that my partner Richard of almost 20 years passed away in his armchair at home mid day of a heart blockage, 11th April just four months ago..So here i am forging myself ahead, de-cluttering and getting things in order for when the solicitor business is over with...preparing myself just in-case of an on the market selling up move..yet what future have i got facing me when my Richard wont be in it, nor moving with me... I am afraid of my now future as I am fully aware it could go either way, a bad move or a good move, i am also aware that i have had my life, 68 years of it, or rather my best part of my life is over with, yes almost touching 20 years where I had never had life so good and easy...I feel now i am back to square one, single again after having my Richard a part of my life for the past 20 years, and taking care of all household bills, maintenance etc, etc, i had no responsibility whatsoever...I now feel so alone and empty from going to the person i was living in a nice house, with my forever partner and three gorgeous loves of my life, fur-babies, now all three plus Richard have now gone, it is just me left now and i dont like this one bit as i was meant to go before him, not the other way around..My life can go one of two ways, it can either go up, or it can go down...I am hoping and praying that I still have some happiness to look forwards to, a life that i feel is worth living...Yes i too have lost " me, " just hope that one day in the future i find " me " again... Jackie...

Steve... ...how uncanny, it was only a couple of nights ago i was reading in bed from The New International Version...John 11...The Death of Lazarus and Jesus Comforts the sisters of Lazarus, ( Jesus weeps too, ) i am slowly going through the New Testament...and this morning 6.am ( UK ) i am reading your post...As they say..." our God works in mysterious ways." I lost my partner Richard, of 20 years at age 74, on the 11th April 2019, he passed away suddenly in his armchair of a heart blockage, morning-mid day... I have PP-Multiple Sclerosis diagnosed at age 64, i am now 68, was diagnosed on the same date Richard passed away, 11th April, so to say this was a complete shock for me and oh how i am now struggling without my Richard, he had been a part of my life for almost 20 years, and i have to admit, the best part of my life, along with my three beloved fur-babies that sadly i have now lost also ( fur-baby number one passed away same date 11th April ten years ago, an Easter Saturday.)...My life now is so so empty and void of everything, and everyone that ever meant the world to me... Yes i too have asked Jesus-God, why Richard, why not me? so many questions we are now left unanswered...It was not meant to have been this way, he had been the healthy one up until recently..we will never know the answer as to why one is taken from us, and for what reason, we are now living the life of " torment. "...They say there is a reason for everything, well yes, but it doesn't stop us from struggling with the answer, Gods reasoning, Gods purpose, as to why? May your Jack be at peace with our maker.. Jackie..

Marg M... ...quoting: " but they have not discovered how to fix the unfixable. (Not sure that is a word) " yes our medics cant fix a " broken heart.." The morning of the day 11th April my Richard was still laying dead on the floor, after the medics and police had one by one got up after trying to revive him, someone phoned my local GP and all she offered me was some anti-depressants medication, I straight away declined them as this was not going to bring my Richard back, nor my-our three dogs ( my fur-babies ) nor get rid of my PP-Multiple Sclerosis...anti-depressant medication seems to be our medics answer to everything... ...quoting: " I truly believe "where there is will, there is a way." Oh yes, one of my late fathers well known idioms that he was always saying, he too believed in this...Although at this present time in my now lonelier and emptier life, I cant see a way forward as yet...nor do i feel that i even want to go forwards without my Richard by my side... Jackie..

Gin... ...yes what was-is our " special " days, will not mean so " special " ever again without our beloveds by our side, they just wont have the same happy meaning as they once had...but if we try our best to think that they are still by our side, if not in body, they are there by our side in spirit...I just know, hand on heart, they will never ever leave us... I am sending you Birthday Wishes on your 80th.. Jackie...

Yes the club that no one wants or plans on joining...I too have become a member...At one time not too long ago, I had a lovely man in my life, we met 20 years ago, we also had three gorgeous fur-babies yet over those years one by one has now gone to the " Rainbows Bridge " all three fur-babies are-were the loves of my life...I have now lost all three and my Partner Richard 11th April, now it is just me left all by myself and i do not like this now empty and lonely life one bit, I am so so frightened of my future, it is going to be so unpredictable, i also have PP-MS, as Richard was not only my provider but he was my rock...now i am completely alone... Jackie..

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