LoriS.

Hey guys...as far as the medication goes, I was on something different (celexa and welbutrin) for a few years prior to the effexor. I went on the effexor when my doc felt that the others were pooping out. I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have switched. Maybe I just need to give it a chance. Maybe...I don't know!!! Thanks! Lori

I feel like I don't have any business posting when there are so many new people ( and old alike ) that have been pouring their hearts out. I am not in the "brand new" stage anymore and my grief isn't as stinging as it once was. But I always make suggestions so I hope you all won't think it's selfish of me to vent a little! I just don't feel good lately. I don't know if it's my new medication (effexor)I've been on for four weeks, or if I'm just in another stage in the grieving process. It's about four months since Mom has died. When I joined this wonderful online group with all of you, I was starting to really feel better; starting to go and do and move along slowly, but nonetheless, move along. Well somehow lately, I feel more tired and lazy. I do workout and try to eat right. I broke my arm last August and had slowly started to gain weight, than when my mom died, I started eating more and at the wrong times, but I didn't really care about that. Than came the holidays and more eating, etc. Mind you, I'm 48, going through that wonderful change (you girls know what I mean!) and I'm only 4'11"! It's almost like I have to workout every day...which I don't...but put in a good 2-3 times per week...and eat like a bird (which I don't). Now 10 lbs later and I'm so uncomfortable. So instead of being about 5 lbs overweight...no big deal... before I broke my arm and before Mom died, I am now 15 lbs. over and my clothes are not fitting me. I feel like a slug! I have out of town company coming in later this week and I just can't get motivated to do what needs to be done to get ready for them. Sometimes I'd just rather sleep. I have a great husband and two great grown kids, I work from home now, I love to knit,(but even that seems like a chore) am blessed with good health and warm weather where I live and yet everything seems to be a big effort lately. I know all of us are at different stages, so I'm hoping to get some insight on this. All of you have been my inspiration for moving forward on this journey and I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart! I love you all...Lori

Ellejaye, I am so sorry for your loss. Everyone on these boards is very supportive and can help you through this process. It was my mom who died back in October and it takes time to sort through all the feelings. Read everyones posts on these boards and you'll see you are not alone. You've come to the right place to vent your feelings. Take care...Lori

Annie, It took a lot of courage for you to tell us your story and you should be commended for that. My heart breaks for you, but somehow you will find a way to get through this. Janine is right...you are a good daughter and you will find strength somehow. We're all here for you anytime. Love and hugs to you...Lori

Chrissy, I'm glad you are feeling better. I guess this is a rollercoaster ride that we are just destined to take! Hopefully the ups will soon outweigh the downs! Take care...Lori

Lindsey...Feeling exhausted is one of those feelings that seems to be a common thread among everyone on these boards so I'm thinking that it's one of those very normal things that happen when we are grieving. I still get that way sometimes. I used to feel guilty about resting in the middle of the day, but than I realized that this is all part of the normal process. Be gentle with yourself. A big hug to you...Lori

Bob, I am so very sorry for your loss. there are so many emotions and feelings going on in the beginning that it's hard to keep everything straight. Keep coming back and we're all here to listen. Hugs to you...Lori

Lindsey...One day at a time. Everyone is here for you. Hugs to you...Lori

Annie...that was a definate "Hallmark Moment"! What a great gift that was for you! Hugs to you...Lori

Thanks Shell, Starkiss and Janine for your replies. Yes they were a very special couple. I was talking to one of my moms friends on the phone tonight. She's 83 and still has all her wits and sense of humor with her. We live clear across the country, so I don't get to see her, only when I went into town to visit my mom and the rest of my family (brothers, nieces, nephew). I got very sad when I hung up with her, but that was to be expected. I can hear my mom saying "oh honey, how nice that you got to talk to Betty!". I plan to keep in touch with a couple of her special friends that meant so much to her. It just takes a phone call here and there to make an older person happy! I hope everyone is doing well. Just one day at a time... All my love...Lori P.s. Janine your post really got to me and I am about to shed a tear right on the keyboard! Thanks so much!

YOu are going through such a difficult time right now. Try not to analyze everything about your sister and how she died and the boyfriends part in this. Eventually you will figure it out. What's important is YOU right now and your pregnancy. Please try to take care of yourself and rest if you can. We're all here to listen. Take care...Lori

Lindsey, The first few weeks are so hard and so sad. It's so fresh and new for you now. Keep posting and we're all here for you. What about your other family members and friends? Try to get as much rest as you can...your body needs it at this time. It's good that you found this website. I'm sorry that you feel so sick. I know how you feel. Hang in there...Lori

Lindsey...I am so very sorry about your loss of your Mom. Kim said it all in her post. Keep coming back and we're all here to listen. Take care of yourself...Lori

I just want to say that I am so sorry for your loss. You are not insane. Please, please take care of yourself. You are worn out and overwhelmed. Please continue posting. There are lots of good people on these boards that are always there to listen. Marty has excellent advise. Again...I am so sorry. Hugs to you...Lori

Hi everyone, Jane...I loved your story about how your mom was there when you were watching the video. I have heard that they can still hear what is going on even though they have the morphine in their system. I'll bet you that she knew what was going on...I really believe that! My mom would have said the same thing (oh for goodness sake!)in that same situation! My daughter is getting married in October and I just found out that a special corsage has been ordered for me in addition to mine to wear in honor of my mother. My daughters mother-in-law to be (who is taking care of the flowers) thought of it which was so thoughtful! I'm glad I found about it now rather than the day of the wedding or I would have been an emotional wreck...which I probably will be anyway! Trudy...Did you ever get my email address? I would still love to see pictures of your tributes to your mom at your brothers wedding! Thanks...Lori

Hi everyone, Today would have been my parents 65th wedding anniversary! After my Dad passed away 3 years ago, we would remember the day with my Mom and she would talk about all the wonderful years they had together. This is the first year that neither of them are here to celebrate their anniversary, so I have decided to remember it for them. I woke up this morning and was a little overcome with emotions regarding this day. But I am choosing to have a good day and honoring their anniversary by remembering how they truly loved each other for so many years. I would like to share this funny story about my parents: My parents always held hands when they were walking from their car to whatever store they went into. One time, they must have been 77-79 years old, a person much younger than them walked up to them and said "Oh...you guys are so cute! You're still holding hands after all these years!" My Dad looked at this person and said " I don't even know this woman (meaning my Mom), we're so old we're just holding each other up!!!" My parents didn't just love each other, they truly liked each other, too. Too often I take for granted my relationship with my husband that I've been married to for 25 years and have two beautiful daughters with. I guess today is one of the "firsts" of events to happen this year, being the first year that both of my parents are gone. Thanks to all of you, I feel good about it and WILL be able to have a good, productive day! I hope today finds all of you well. Let us try to remember our loved ones that have passed on with a funny story or a positive memory to honor them! Hugs to everyone...Lori

Annie, Just wanted to say I'm sorry to you and give you a big hug! It's hard to be going through something like this while the rest of the world is going on around us. Hang in there...Lori

Hi Marie, First let me say that I am so sorry about your loss. I can't even imagine what it feels like to lose your best friend. It sounds like you're going through the natural grieving process to me. Have you considered a therapist or bereavement group? And if all else fails, maybe medication to help you through? I felt the exact same way after my mom passed away, but I am a lot better now with finding out about this website, therapy, medication and a great support system of friends and family. Maybe Marty has suggestions about how to handle this. She is wonderful and has been a huge help to me. Hope this helps you somewhat! Hugs to you...Lori

Paul...I hope you dont mind if I print out your post and carry it with me and put it in a notebook of sorts that I keep in the house and I bring in the car when I'm running around. Just sometimes re-reading a little advice can make the diffrence in the outcome of your day or the situation you are about to deal with. You are a great philosopher/writer! Thanks again...Lori

Thankyou, Marty for that candle lighting web page. I just lit 2, one for my mom and one for my dad. It was beautiful! Thanks...Lori

Janine...that is perfect!!! When I looked at the picture, the first thing I saw was the "angel" shadow and I was thinking that it was your sister. In my moms last couple days, somehow she reminded of me of an angel and I was never big on angel statues or angel pictures, etc. I kept thinking in my mind after she passed for several weeks about her as an angel. I was at one of my favorite stores at the mall which sells purses, nick/nacks etc. and saw an angel night light with crystal stones and hearts. I had to have it. It is in my dining room area in an electrical outlet nearer to the floor where I feel that my mom is watching my house...not where everyone can immediately see it, but the glow around it is so special when its dark in the room and it just illuminates the living room and dining room very subtly. My mom was a very sweet, gentle soul and the angel night light, for me, was so symbolic of who she was! Now I see angels everywhere...like I did when I first looked at your picture...thanks for that! Let me know how your project is coming along. I promise you will benefit from doing it! Hugs again to you...Lori

Janine...why don't you have that quote from your movie drawn up in some type of artwork to put in your office again? You can include pictures of your sister or whatever you like as a positive reminder of her life...and yours. Sometimes being creative is the best medicine for me. I knit and crochet and I am currently working on a small wall hanging. It was going to be a purse, than I decided I didn't want to sew up the sides...it just looked too pretty as it was. I am going to randomly put my mom's old costume jewelry on this and hang it up somewhere in my house. We just converted one of our kids rooms into an office/yarn room for me, so I'll probably put it in there. Just a thought! Hugs to you...Lori

Pebbles, Didn't you go to see your dad a couple weeks ago? How was he doing? And how are you doing?. Please let us know. Jane (missing Rick) I feel so sad for your losses and how hard this must be for you. We're all here to listen. Hugs to everyone...Lori

Paul, I loved your post! Lori

Dear Broken Soul, I don't have any great words of wisdom for you as I had a completely different situation. My mom passed away in Oct. 06' and it was the saddest thing I've ever gone through. I'm so very sorry about your loss and the circumstances around it. Please know everyone here cares. Lori