LoriS.

I am also sorry for your loss. I really don't know "for sure" what lies ahead...if there is an afterlife...but I would like to believe there is one. I would like to believe that my mom is with my dad and all of their family members. I would like to believe that she is happy and watching over me and my family here on earth. And because I really don't know, I have been content with that and that is enough for right now. I really do "feel" my mom is with me. Whether it is wishful thinking, or her spirit is truly there doesn't matter. I am just content thinking that she might be there. Does anything I said make sense?!!! It truly is a very deep personal thing and I really can't explain it any better than that! Hang in there... Take care...Lori

Good News, Shelly!!! Take care...Lori

Anne, I am also so sorry about your mom. My mom died October 22, 2006. I've had one dream with my mom in it, but I was looking at her from afar and she was much younger. My girlfriend recently had a dream about her that she was sitting in a chair, wearing a chocolate brown suit petting a dog and looking very peaceful! I've had sensations and feelings of my mom being around me. Sometimes, I hear her answering my own self talk. I've been particularly sensitive to it lately since it's my first Mothers Day without her. I read a fabulous book called Feathers Brush My Heart by Sinclair Browning. It's true short stories of mothers connecting with their daughters after death. Every female (and I guess males too...why not!) that has lost their mother should read it. Welcome to this site and be a part of our Mothers Day "rememberences" of our moms. Read Annie's thread about Mothers Day...we're all going to think about our moms (of course) but all of us thinking about them at the same time on Mothers Day...12:00 noon Chicago time. Our goal with each other is to find strength and spirit at the exact same time...even though we all live all over the country! It is such a wonderful idea that Annie thought of! Feel free to post whenever. There are a lot of great people willing to listen! Take care...Lori By the way...I am wearing a chocolate brown dress for my daughters wedding in October. My girlfriend who had the dream of my mom in a chocolate brown suit didn't know that I had even bought a dress for my daughters wedding and I hadn't even discussed a color with her prior to her dream about my mom!

Daddylives forever...thankyou for that. Take care...Lori

Annie, Since you started this thread, why don't you pick the time and time zone?

Lisa J...Great idea about visiting your moms grave on Mothers Day. I wish that I could go and visit my moms grave on mothers day as well. I live on the other side of the country, therefore it isn't possible for me to get there. The first time that I will see it since she died will be the beginning of August when my family will go back east for her "stonesetting". In the Jewish religion it is a time for friends and family to gather around the grave and say a few prayers. This takes place within the first year after the passing. I will have to bring her her mothers day bouquet when I visit her grave in August! I know my husband wants to keep me busy and my mind occupied on this Mothers Day. I can tell that he's getting a little concerned about me and how I'm going to be. We'll spend the day with his parents and our one daughter that lives in town. Our other daughter lives out of town, but she's coming to visit us in a couple weeks, so she wants to do another Mothers Day for me when she gets into town. I'm just going to try to go with the flow and whatever emotions come, let them come. We should picture an imaginary chain where we (all of us on this site) are all linking elbows together in strength. Together we can all get through this!!! Take care...Lori

Karen...best of luck with that. I worked with a girl that had that done and she had great results. Take care...Lori

This site helped me so much when I felt in such dispair after my mom died. I had so many feelings that I had never felt before and was made comfortable from my very first post. I, too, thank everyone so much for advice and just being there. Lori

Annie, thanks for starting this. I know it's going to be the first mothers day without our moms for a few of us. My Mom's name was Mae. I never thought of it before...that Mothers Day is in May and her name was Mae (of course different spelling!) Trudy, Bursie certainly is a great name!

Shelly, I hope that everything works out ok for you, too. Hugs to you...Lori

I LOVE that idea!!! Hugs to all...Lori

I just wanted to lend my support to all of you. I lost my Dad 3 years ago and my Mom 6 months ago. Losing my mom has been like ripping my heart out, but I'm doing much better now. I can't even imagine the pain that all of you feel about losing your spouses. I am so sorry. It makes me think how anything can happen to my husband at any time and I need to be greatful for everything we have right now. Big hugs to all of you...Lori

Shelly, I agree with Lori. We will always be remembering, but hopefully it won't be monopolizing our everyday tasks and lives. If you feel like there are things that you just can't get through, or are always feeling guilty about moving forward or having fun, than maybe you should talk to your counselor about it. I find that writing in a journal has really helped me. Sometimes I answer my own questions and figure things out in my writings. All I know for sure is that our parents would not want us to be in deep grief for too long. They loved us and would only want the best for us as we continue our life. Take care...Lori

Lori, I am sending you BIG hugs and LOTS of prayers and positive thoughts. I hope everything works out for you! Take care...Lori

Hi Pebbles, It's just going to take time to feel what has been going on. You have friends here on this site that will be here to help you when you need it. Take care...Lori

Shell, My dad had dimentia (I think I told you)and he got it after he had hip replacement surgery. He also had Parkinsons (before he fell and broke his hip). I remember it being a tough time for everyone. Hang in there. Hugs to you...Lori

Thanks, Shell. How are you? You seem to have your hands full right now. My best to you and your mom. Take care...Lori

I think the name of the article is Disloyalty.

Hi Shelly, I know it's hard to do something for yourself because we feel like we're betraying the people that we're grieving for. I went through that and with time, I was able to learn how to have more of a balance. Also, Marty has a wonderful article regarding betrayel and how we feel like we're betraying our loved one if we move on. It helped me out so much and I have often re-read it when I needed to. Take care...Lori

Shelly, that sounds like fun. I believe that our parents would definately want to know that we are keeping up with traditions and making our own traditions as well. It's a two edge sword...grieving and having fun. I think it's just our new "normal" and sometimes we just don't want to have fun because the grief is overwhelming. I think that it's trying to find that balance that becomes a struggle with some days easier than others. I'm glad that you had fun with your sister and her kids! Take care...Lori

Pebbles...I am so sorry. I pray that you will get through this ok...and you will...with whatever emotions you have. Don't worry about showing them when you need to. Take care...Lori

Be Thankful...Thank you for your positive post. I lost my dad three and 1/2 years ago and my mom six months ago. It's been quite a roller coaster, but I know that things are better and I am getting used to this new normal. Lisa...I am so sorry about all you have been through. Best of luck with the therapy. You sound open to it so I'm sure you will start to process all of this. Take care...Lori

Dear William and Karen, I am so sorry about the loss of your spouses. I couldn't possibly have any words of wisdom and can't even imagine. You have found a wonderful place to get your feelings out. These boards were a lifeline after my mom died six months ago. I was just checking in today and noticed that both of you are new...so welcome. Take care...Lori Karen...I loved that story that you just shared!

Shelly, I am so sorry about your uncle. He sounded like a wonderful man. Take care, Lori

Lori and Shelly, You are both in my thoughts and prayers. take care...Lori