WendyJ

Hey Marty, You know how much I love my family here and would not be where I am today without you all but I do not understand why close friends has been added into our group as I do not feel these are two groups of people that can truly understand eachothers level of grief. This is just my opinion and I would be anxious to hear some other opinions from our group also. Thanks so much for all you do for us and this site. Love, Wendy

Corinne you have been such a dear friend to me since the beginning and I thank you for your blessing. You and a few others here know me more personally and know how seriously I take relationships and how so very much I am in love with Derek, do I talk about anything else lately? LOL I had this same type of relationship with Steve lasting from when I was 15 till not quite 2 years ago...when I love this seriously it is forever. Derek and I know we were brought together for a reason and this is just the beginning of a beautiful lifetime together for he and I and our children. Love Always, Wendy

Oh Mike I can't believe you found a song about a Jersey girl and a cowboy...and the funny thing is that it is called Walk through the Bottomland without any shoes...and Derek and I hate to wear shoes ! LOL That was great...thanks ! Jeanne we have not decided yet who is moving where, we will soon though. Love Always, Wendy

Howdy Kay ! You are too funny ! Actually I grew up with horses so the country is in my blood...rode my first horse at the age of five. People tend to think of Jersey as like what they see in the movies like in the Soprano's but Jersey is primarily farm land and we are mostly known for our Jersey Corn and Jersey tomatoes. I also lived in Kentucky and Nashville for a bit for a student exchange program back in school. So you see I am already a cowgirl y'all. LOL Thanks for your good wishes, you are such a good friend ! Love You, Wendy

Kim, you are just too sweet ! Thank you so much for being happy for us, you are such a good friend. As far as where we will be living we have not figured that out yet, we are just concentrating on us for right now. We will eventually figure that part out but neither is too concerned as our love is too strong to let that be a major hurdle. But I will tell you the airlines are going to make some good money off of us for awhile ! LOL I am so happy to hear also that you have started a relationship...I wish you all the best !This is just like Derek said, we don't want people thinking that these posts are for making this seem like it is a dating site...that is so not true. But we just want people to see that you can go on eventually even though at the moment you feel like there is no end to your misery. If anyone reads back on some of our old posts they will see how far we have come. We have also come to know all of you like family and want to share our happiness. Kath, as far as the children well my two daughters are older, one is married and one is engaged so that is not a problem. Derek's son Carson does not know yet but will in time....he is 9 years old and we will make sure that however it is approached it is what is best for him as he is our #1 concern. Derek however does not feel it will be a problem at all and he will accept me very well. Thanks again to all of you ! Love Always, Wendy

Kay, how can we thank you enough for such a beautiful post ! No, God has certainly not forgotten Fred, and my relationship with Derek would not have happened if Fred and I hadn't become good friends. Fred and I were and still are very close and owe one another alot for getting eachother through such a hard time. Fred will find someone special, as special as he is and she better be good to him or she will have to answer to me ! I can't help not having my faith restored as Derek and I are a perfect match for one another and we have yet to find anything that we do not have in common or disagree on, well except he likes Johnny Cash and I don't...LOL Derek is a very special person and I will thank God everyday for the rest of my life for bringing him to me. Thanks again... William, you and I also have had such a special friendship and I was more than thrilled when you and Denise started dating..she is one lucky lady. Thank you so much for your post...it means the world to me. Kath, I am so glad this is inspiring to you...that was our thinking, to give everyone hope and to know life will go on and so will you. Love Always, Wendy

John, I want to thank you so much for your response, it means so much to me. I know this all seems so strange to everyone on what has happened but I want eveyone to know that Fred means the world to me, he is my closest friend and we helped each other get through a difficult time in our lives. He is the most wonderful person, so sweet and so caring and still yells at me to get out of the recliner and go to bed and to stop staying on the phone with Derek till all hours of the morning. Derek and I have known eachother now for almost a year now and have always had an attraction to eachother but just realized how so very much we are in love, how much we mean to eachother and want to spend the rest of our lives together. This is the real thing and we have vowed that we love eachother so much that nothing will stand in our way. This has fully restored my faith in God that I lost 19 months ago, I know now his plan was for Derek and Carson and I to become a family and so we will. It is possible to be so down that you think your life is over when you have lost a loved one, and then to suddenly realize that you are so in love with someone that you can not believe it is happening. Please know that this horrible hurt you all are feeling is not forever, you can and will move on. Derek and I always talk about Steve and Karen and know they are looking down on us in Heaven knowing how perfect we are for eachother, how much we are in love and how they will watch over us together always. Love Always, Wendy

Kath, I can honestly say I did just the opposite as you and ran the other way from any beliefs that I had. My biggest question was why would God take such a wonderful man and leave a wife and two daughters so hurt and devastated and lost without him ? I am starting to understand things better now and I do now know what is meant by God has his plans for us as I can not imagine not being in my current relationship, I am deeply in love again. As far as wondering what they were thinking I too have thought of that constantly as Steve was yelling and fighting and just wanted to find me as they were throwing me out of the room. It still boggles my mind how he could be crashing and they are yelling code blue and all he could do is want to know where I was, that is a thought that will never leave me. I still wonder was he scared and wanted me there by his side or was he worried what would happen to us without him...or maybe both. I wonder if someday I will know.... Love Always, Wendy

Kay, You and George had something that was so very special, embrace that and know that it will always be safe in your heart where no person can touch it or take it away from you. What would we have without the wonderful memories of our loved ones who have passed on ? I also do not know anything about sweetest day but I think I will now look into it. Take care and know that you are loved very dearly here with us ! Love Always, Wendy

I found Christine to be a joy to know and can't wait till my next session with her. She is such a wonderful person who cares very deeply for everyone and I belong to her group that Marty was referring to. She had taught me how to open up my mind to all the signs that are there that we just do not realize. Just to give you an idea I had a dream earlier on that Steve and I were walking up his street towards the house he had lived in before we had gotten married, we were walking side by side talking away to eachother yet I could not see him. As we had approached the house as we looked into the front window we could see his mother with many family members around her and they were comforting her as if someone had died. We somehow snuck into the house and went into another room and when I turned around, he was gone and I never found him. I do not think without Christine I would have been able to evaluate this on my own but I realized I was being shown that even though I can not see him, he is there and that even though I had not gotten along with my Mother-In-Law she was also hurting deeply too and that I needed to call her. She gave me the tools I needed to see signs that are around me...especially the fact that light bulbs have been blowing out in my house constantly since I lost him...I think the count is over 50 now...Steve knew I hated to change light bulbs...they scared me but now I am a pro at changing them...I just wish he would stop now...I get the hint ! LOL Love Always, Wendy Kath I found your experience so interesting and would be curious as to what Christine would tell you, thank you for sharing that.

Kath, I had many signs from my husband in the beginning, the strongest of which was that I could smell him near me. This went on for a very long time and I never fully understood it until I had a session with Christine Duminiak and she explained it all to me. When Fred and I became close friends it slowed down alot, it was as if Steve knew I would be okay and he knew how Fred would take care of me. Now I am in a comitted relationship with someone else and it has stopped completely, it is sad but it also allows me to think he is now settled and knows I will be okay with these two important men in my life. You have to tell us how it got to the point of being irritating, you have sparked my interest now ! Love Always, Wendy

Barb I want to express my deepest sympathies on your loss, I am so sorry. You have come to a very special place as we are all experiencing the same loss and truly understand what you are going through. We are all family here, we love and support eachother dearly. Do not be afraid to express your feelings, I guarantee when you do we will all tell you we felt or feel the same way. I am sorry we had to meet this way but I want to welcome you to our group. Love Always, Wendy

Kim, You are so welcome, Derek and I love to clown around alot like that with eachother. Sometimes it just helps to have a good laugh to help you forget your troubles. We do love you too and I talked to Santa and he said so far you are still on his good list ! LOL Love Always, Wendy

Barb, I was so touched by your post, you seem like such a passionate person and of course I am always drawn to other dog people as I have 7 little Japanese Chins and I would not be here today if it were not for them and my closest friend on this site, Fred. I too at times am overwhelmed with caring for my babies but wouldn't change that for anything, I love them dearly. Now about the Crane...it was I believe a message to you from Charley as that was my first thought the minute I read what you wrote. I believe he was showing you that he was still there by your side watching over you and by his leaving, was giving you a message that it was time for you to go on with your life and to know that he will always be there for you although you can no longer see him. You say you can no longer find the strong independant Barb but I see a very strong person when I read your posts...think about all you have done on your own so far...you really are an amazing woman ! Love Always, Wendy P.S. Your Danes are incredible...the breed I have always wanted !

Well I just got off the phone with him and he said now you are on his naughty list because he has no idea who you are. He said just because you have it in good with the reindeer not to make people think you have it in good with him, now Carson is another story...he is a good boy ! LOL Love You, Wendy

Okay message to self AGAIN take Derek off my list too and have a talk with Santa about him and Mike....I think I am going to save alot of money this way come Christmas and for someones late birthday present ! Love Always, Wendy

Sorry Kim I meant Mary Linda...I knew you were a Giants fan ! Derek, keep it up or what I ordered is going back !!! LOL Love, Wendy

Kim, Having been very close for many years with the Giants when they practiced here at Fairleigh Dickenson University and knowing some of the best players from the past such as LT, Carl Banks, Pepper Johnson, Phil Simms and the list could go on and on I know that those signatures would not do you any good unless there was a picture of them signing it or a certificate of authenticity. I have many things autograped like LT's jersey and a football with all their signatures and even a helmet but I made sure that with each signature I had a picture of them signing them. It was still very nice of them to send you the pennant and that should help boost your sales of chances...I hope so ! Love, Wendy P.S. Derek just to prove you wrong I just bought something to do with the Cowboys...but it won't stay here...LOL

Teny, I can feel your pain more than you realize and I am sorry for how strong it is. I wish we lived closer my friend as you are such a wonderful person and I wish I could be there for you in person but please know that I am here for you whenever you need me, but always remember so is Yianny. Just talk to him, he can hear you as he watches over you every day and wishes that you could be happy once again. I never used to talk to Steve as it just made me cry too much, but now I can...yes still teary eyed but I know he is happy for me now as I am moving on and finding some very special people in my life. Please know that we all love you here very much and we are always with you and here for you when you need us....we are your far away family. Love You, Wendy

Okay note to self...."Mark Mike off of Birthday list too and don't forget to write that letter to Santa about him not being nice." Gonna be a bad year for gifts for someone !!! LOL Love, Wendy

Okay....there is another person off my Christmas list this year !!! LOL Just rub it in Mike ! So what are the stats so far this year for the browns? Better that 4-1 ? Hmmm ? Love, Wendy

Yes my dear but if you look at the schedule your quarterback may be back by then...and then we may have a real good show down ! We will discuss later about a bet on this game.........LOL Love You, Wendy Derek we do not play you till November 2nd.....are you ready to rumble?

LOL See that you can take the girl out of Jersey but you can't take the Jersey out of the girl...yes we lost last night...I think we forgot to get on the plane...so much for undefeated ! Oh well we will come back better next week ! Love, Wendy

Kim, I am curious to know how you met this person, your experience would probably help others to learn what to be careful of. You say you have been dating him, was this the first time he met you in person? Sounds like a cop out to me and not only do you have to learn from this unfortunate experience but this person has alot of insecurities and took them out on you, sometimes people have to put others down to make themselves feel better. This should show you that it is entirely too soon for you to be seeing anyone and what type of creeps are out there. Hold your head up and don't listen to what he said to you, what a....horrible person ! Love, Wendy

Jan, Well welcome to the group of us that were dumped by the inlaws ! I knew Steve's family since I was 15 years old, was married to him for 28 years and gave them 2 beautiful Granddaughters and where are they now? Who knows, we kept in touch up till Mothers Day ....I sent her some beautiful flowers. Then came my Birthday and my one daughters birthday...nothing and not a word since then and I refuse to be the one to call as I made the last effort. His family was alittle strange anyway so maybe I am better off. So Jan do not feel alone, you are not, unfortunately this is more common that we think. Love, Wendy