WendyJ

Bdzack I am so sorry you had to join us, this is a hard road we all here must travel. I too lost my husband very suddenly and unexpectedly to a blood clot that went to his heart, he was only 51 years old. He was fine the night before and gone the next day. We will be here for you as much as you need us so please keep coming back. Love Always, Wendy

How can I thank you all enough for all your caring and thoughts and love, thank you all who have posted and to Fred, Derek, William and MikeC who didn't post but have been in touch and checking on me, I love you guys ! Kay you have to be the sweetest woman alive, I am sorry I missed your call today, not falling asleep till about 5am kept me in bed till this afternoon. As usual you all have been here for me, we are such a close and loving family aren't we, you guys are the best and I love you all. Love Always, Wendy

LeeAnn thanks so much for the hug and yes that is what I was looking for, thank you so very much ! Karen thank you so much for being here for me, you are one of the sweetest people I know, I love you too ! Kay my dear friend, thank you for your thoughts and prayers, and when I read what you wrote to Steve I really broke down and cried, you are too wonderful and I love you dearly. It is 3am now, I should be fast asleep but I can't stop crying. I am drinking coffee out of Steve's motorcycle mug I had made with his bike on it and I just watched the tribute my daughter made for him, I lit a candle on line for him and lit my own candle here. I can't believe in just over a month it will be 2 years since he passed and the end of April would have been our 30th wedding anniversary. Where has the time gone and why does it still seem like it was yesterday he slipped away from me? Why am I taking this harder this year than last year? I miss him so very much, why did he have to be taken from me? Why can't I crawl into bed and just fall asleep in his arms, why do I no longer feel him near me, I used to be able to smell him all around me and now I no longer can, where did he go? I am going to go put one of his shirts on and try to sleep, goodnight my friends. Love Always, Wendy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Syjfs1Uuuvc...feature=related Happy Birthday Babe, I LOVE YOU !!! You always were and always will be my Hero and The Wind Beneath My Wings......................

Hey everyone, today, January 24th is my husband's birthday and I am having a rough time. Mostly because I thought the 24th was on Sunday and I had a couple days left to prepare, well at just after midnight I realized that the 24th is now by seeing the date on my computer, I broke into tears. I was just wondering if anyone remembers how to go online and light a candle for your loved one, I just can't remember how to do it. Love Always, Wendy

Marty this is wonderful ! I tuned in today at 2:30pm and there was one of the elephants right in front of the camera grazing, the closest I have seen yet ! Thanks ! Love, Wendy

Oh no Kay, there is not a damn thing wrong with you at all. You did not want this marriage to end and you tried everything in your power to make everything right, he is the one who ended the marriage by acting the way he did. There are so many unanswered questions you still have and you and I both know if there are questions that remain unanswered you can not move on. Even if you do have the answers it is still hard to move on if your heart will not let you. But those people obviously wanted their marriages to end, makes you wonder why they got married in the first place if they are that happy, no Kay you are the normal one not them. Love You, Wendy

Kay my thoughts and prayers are with you tonight, but you know they always are. I understand completely your feelings, and just like with George and Steves passing, this pain is the same, we will never be whole again. I am sorry you are hurting so bad today, please try to get a good nights sleep and we will talk tomorrow. Please remember I love you dearly as does everyone here on this site !!! Love You, Wendy

Gail, Is it possible that we are at two years already? You today and myself in March, how has the time gone so quickly yet it seems like forever since we have seen our guys? You and I have become best friends since we joined this group and I don't know how we would have done this without everyone here and without eachother. We tell eachother everything all our thoughts our inner most secrets and even just talk about the weather at times, but all in all we have eachother and always will my dear friend. I love you with all my heart and am here for you today and always. Love, Wendy

Thanks Corinne for starting this....Mary Linda my thoughts and prayers are with you today on Tom's anniversary of his passing. You have been more than a wonderful friend to me as I have been going through some very rough times and I am here for you today if you need me. You are a wonderful and caring person and I am very proud to call you a friend. Do something for Tom today and then do something for yourself today and my heart will be with you the entire day and always. Love Always, Wendy

Teny of course you are in my prayers, you don't even have to ask ! Please let us know how all is going? Love Always, Wendy

I can understand what you are all saying and my heart goes out to all of you, my daughters are older but I still have problems also, just not to the extent of the rest of you. My older daughter is still having a very hard time in accepting that her Dad is gone, she is a very emotional girl, hmmm I wonder who she gets that from? My younger daughter that still lives with me seems to be holding in her anger and sadness from losing her Dad and as Derek and Fred know she will at times take it out on me and cause me major grief. Steve passed 5 months after my older Daughter Amy got married so he was able to walk her down the isle. My younger daughter Melissa is now engaged and even though there is not a set date she tells me how unfair it will be to not have her Dad to walk her down the isle and it breaks my heart. I think at times we get wrapped so up in our own grief that we tend to forget how much this is hurting them too. I never knew my real father so my Grandfather was my father figure, he passed young like Steve in his early 50's when I was 15 yrs old and I still miss him terribly and not a day goes by that I do not think of him. Love Always, Wendy

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers. I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain, nor the future with its untold stories. But I can be there now when you need me to care. I can't keep your feet from stumbling. I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall. Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine; Yet I can share in your laughter. Your decisions in life are not mine to make, nor to judge; I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask. I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values, from me. I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you. I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you, But I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself. I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting, But I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and put them back in place. I can't tell you who you are. I can only love you and be your friend. Love Always, Wendy Kay I know some of us will probably never leave whether it is because we will never fully heal or because we are so grateful for the love and compassion we were shown when we came here that we want to return the favor ourselves to anyone new coming in and joining our family. So to answer How Long? As long as it takes or as long as we are needed !

Thank you so much Marty,you touched me deeply by saying that, I was concerned that maybe we were being too open and honest, but that is just the way Kay and I are, we just don't hold back and as much as it hurts to tell of our pain we feel if we could help just one person by knowing what we are going through then it is worth it. In some ways it hurts to type out what we are feeling and in other ways it is very therapeutic to get all of our thoughts and emotions out. God bless you and this wonderful site, where we would be without it I do not know. Marsha what a wonderful post to Kay, she is amazing isn't she? All she is going through and she always took time out of her day to help me and to listen to what I was going through...they don't come any nicer than that ! Love Always, Wendy

Yes Kay it is very very hard. I know my heart every second of every day is still having major arguments with my brain, they just can't seem to come to an agreement on what is the best thing for me to do or think. For you it is even harder, but you have just come a very long way in a very short period of time and I do not think there is one person here on this site, even if they did not post because of not knowing what to say that has not been behind you every step of the way cheering you on because we all love you and look up to you very much. You are one strong lady Kay and don't you let anyone tell you different !!! Love Always, Wendy

Kay this must be very hard for you to know it is finally over, this has been so emotionally draining for you and so hard financially too. But I do know it is only over on the surface and that in your heart there is this ache like I also still have that just won't go away for a very long time, maybe never. We loved deeply and gave our all and it just wasn't enough and that hurts so very much, you and I have to be strong my dear friend and like me you have to remember you did nothing wrong and you were the best damn thing that happened to John and I think he realizes it now, but it is too late. You need to move on when you are ready and look for that happy life that you and I were robbed of in an instant when we lost George and Steve, I just hope we can find it someday, we both deserve that very very much ! You and I will always be there for each other, we have to because that is what good friends do. I Love You, Wendy

Thanks Marty I will, I loved that video too ! Love Always, Wendy

I would like to add this beautiful song by Josh Groban...thanks. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNBM1U7DIro...feature=related Love Always, Wendy

Oh Kay of course you have my prayers, keep in touch and let me know if that .......nevermind shows up. I am so glad you got yourself all nice and primped, now when you go there just keep your head up high and show him what he is missing and that you will be okay. Then if you want you can cry when you get into your car...but not sooner okay, and then call me on your way home if I am home from work. Again you are doing great and I am so proud of you !!! Love Always, Wendy

Well Walt I am not sure what day of the week January 13Th 2005 was, but all I know is my sweet husband Steve was alive and well and we were together and happier than ever. That was 2 years before his passing and whatever we were doing, we had no idea what horrible occurrence was to happen down the road. Just thinking about it now upsets me greatly, sorry that is all I can say. Love Always, Wendy

Kay, You are doing wonderful, you simply amaze me at your strength. If it were not for you and a few other of my great friends here I would not have made it to where I am now. You have made it this far and you will make it even further, God will give you the strength. You can lean on me whenever you need to just like I leaned on you when I was at my lowest and for that I will always be greatful. If it were me I would be glad that he is at least showing some feelings towards you, at least then you know it was not all a lie, but like your best friend told you he can't be himself living the wonderful lifestyle with you, he is not good enough for that, and you are too good for him. Keep the strength my friend, you are doing great ! I Love You, Wendy P.S. I agree with you that it is hard being friends with someone after you have been lovers, but for me thank goodness it is working and my ex and I are becoming the best of friends again...we were too close to not make it happen.

Kay so beautifully written, couldn't have said it better except you left out the part after Skye greats you what joy you have cleaning up all the mess from what he has destroyed when you were gone ! LOL Sorry couldn't resist ! Ahhh the joys of life ! Love. Wendy

Kay, I am so sorry for all your pain and all you are going through, you do know I understand and will always be here for you. I am sorry I missed your call last night, it was a crazy night as I was in and out all night. John does not deserve you and you know it without me telling you that, you are a wonderful, caring and loving person and he could only wish to have you still in his life. I have learned recently not to assume what your ex is feeling or doing as it only hurts you more and sometimes it is not completely true. My relationship is improving greatly, we are becoming close again, but it will stay as friends which is hard but it is the way it has to be. I can only hope after you get through this you will be able to get some of yourself back, I know part of me is really lost, not sure when or how I will get it back but am asking his help to see if it can be found again. You are doing really well considering what you are going through and I am very very proud of you as you are alot stronger and doing better than you give yourself credit for. Love You, Wendy