Corinne

Hi Kim, I am sorry that you are going through so much right now. I just want you to know that I am keeping you, your daughter and your in laws in my prayers. Hugs & prayers, Corinne

Hi William, I am looking for work in an office. I was in credit & collections in my last job(YUCK!!!!), and do not want to go back to that work. It is too stressful and depressing! I am trying to take the job search a little slowly because I do not want to get into another job that I hate. Yes, everything changed dramatically in my life after John's death. I have found that the move was a very good choice for myself and my daughters. The girls are doing good, they are finally showing signs of catching up with the harder curriculum in the schools here, so that is a good thing. I am also dealing once again with anger towards John and his leaving the girls without their Daddy and me to do everything myself, but this too will pass. John's sister has tried to contact me again but I will not deal with his family at this time since they have caused me so much pain and I have enough to deal with. It is so nice to hear from you again. Hugs & prayers, Corinne

William, There is no reason to feel ashamed or like you betrayed anyone. A lot of us have been lacking in our posting during the holidays. I am so glad that you have posted again. You were missed and I was worrying about you. Are you taking your meds? I am glad that your move is complete, I know that you have a lot of work to do on your new house. I wish that we were all closer to you so that we could help. The holidays were hard for me, but I have survived them. Now I need to get moving and find a job. I feel guilty for not really looking very hard for one yet. My brother has been asking me if I am calling around and that is why I feel guilty, he has done so much for me and all I need to do in return is find a job so I really need to do that now that the holidays are over. The problem I think I am having with looking for a job is that I know that it is going to bring with it so many other things that I will have to do. I will need to get my girls in before and after school care and then I will have to find a program for them to get into for the summer when they are not in school, etc.... It just makes me tired thinking of it all so I just have to remember to take one thing at a time and not lump everything together. That's enough of my whining. I am just glad that you are back home and posting again. Hugs & prayers, Corinne

Wendy my friend, As Kim has said it is not pretty or easy going through chemo. Being tired from the chemo seems to be the one thing that most people go through. My Jimmy died of colon cancer and my stepfather from cancer of the esophogus. Some of the other side affects are nausea and diarhea. As Kim has said everyone is different and affected in different ways so you are going to have to wait and see what side affects your Mom has. Jimmy did not want to eat at all so I would puree homemade healthy soups for him to drink. My stepfather on the other hand was able to eat. Please keep asking for help or advice if you need it, we are here for you! Hugs & prayers, Corinne

William, Come out, Come out where ever you are! William, you have been hiding long enough. We miss you and we are wondering how you are and how the new house is working out? Besides that I miss reminding you to take your meds, speaking of which have you been taking them? I know that you are probably busy with the new house but please check in and let us know how you are doing, we miss you and worry about you. Hugs & prayers, Corinne

Kathy, Don't be so hard on yourself. Your pain is still new. Two months is not very long when you are grieving. You will get the things done that you need to do (they always seem to wait for us to do them), right now you need to concentrate on you and your grief. John went missing on Feb. 24th last year, they found him on April 18th, I moved in the beginning of August and I still have not gotten a job. I really need to work on that but I also need to make sure that I am OK for my children. What I am trying to say is that everything works itself out in time and you being so new at such a great loss need to give yourself time. It will all work out and be OK just remember to take care of you and having a good cry when something reminds us of our loved ones is actually very healing. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs & prayers, Corinne

Kim, I am so sorry to hear that you are going through another loss. I don't understand or even try to understand why we have to go through multiple losses but please know that I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs & prayers, Corinne

Thank you Marty for the great laugh! Hugs & prayers, Corinne

Wendy, I believe what DoubleJo is saying is that on January 13th it is her wedding anniversary and on February 12th it is the anniversary of Curt's death. DoubleJo, Please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers during this hard time for you. Hugs and prayers, Corinne

Gail, That is such wonderful news. You are really very blessed. It only goes to show that there are good things that will come into our lives if we just hang in there. Hugs & prayers, Corinne

Hi Derek, Glad to hear that you are a little better today. I would love to leave the tree up until March, but it is just adding to the clutter so it has to be taken down now and it is easier to do it with the girls not at home. It is a nightmare because they put all the decorations on (I just couldn't help) and all the ornament boxes are in disarray so it is like one big jigsaw puzzle. Hugs & prayers, Corinne

Hey Derek, Just checking in to see how you are today? I am trying to take down the Christmas decorations(horrible job)and trying to reclaim my house from my two daughters present clutter. It is taking all of my energy but I am determined to get a lot of it done today. Hugs & prayers, Corinne

Derek, I know exactly what you are talking about and the feelings you are having. As you know I have two girls 7 & 8 and it does get overwhelming at times and they definitely know how to get on your nerves at times. I also know what you mean about feeling guilty when you are doing something without Carson. It would be wonderful to have someone to help with everything and to be able to have adult conversation in the evening, but unfortunately that is not the way it is in our lives right now maybe down the road some day. Until then we do have our family here to talk to and help us through. As for the antidepressants, if I were you I would give myself a little time to regroup from these holidays blues that always seem to hit. If you are not feeling better, then I would consider going back on them. I had to go on Wellbutrin about a month ago because I felt like I was just walking around in a fog. Don't be too hard on yourself and know that you are not alone with all the feelings you are having right now. Hugs & prayers, Corinne

Hi Derek, I am glad that you are still around. I know exactly how you feel. This time of year really seems to affect everyone who has been through loss, no matter how long it has been. You are definitely showing the signs of depression. Are you still on your anti-depressant? It is a hard life raising children alone, but we do have to remember that we are all they have and we need to take care of ourselves in order to be able to take care of them. Do you have anyone to watch Carson so that you can go and do something for yourself, even if it is just a walk? As for the organizing, I am sorry I cannot help there I am trying to figure how to do that at my house. Please hang in there and know that you are not alone. Hugs & prayers, Corinne

I just want to wish everyone here a healthly and peaceful New Year. May each of us find a little bit of happiness and discover who we are this year. Hugs & prayers, Corinne

Hi Suzanne, I am so sorry you are feeling so down. I was feeling the same way lately which is why I have not been posting. It was 11 yrs. on Christmas day since I lost my Jimmy and it was just 8 months since they found John. It is hard but we will get through it together. Karen, I know just what you mean about the silence when we mention something that our loves did. It is so amazing, do they think we just forget about our loves when they are gone. I still get the silence when I mention Jimmy and it has been 11 yrs and I still have not forgotten him or stopped loving him. Hugs & prayers, Corinne

William, Happy Birthday! Hugs & prayers, Corinne

Merry Christmas Wendy and to all of my family here! I too wish for peace, health and happiness for all of us in the coming year! Hugs & prayers, Corinne

Maury, What you are feeling is totally normal. I was at my therapist yesterday and I told her exactly what you just said. She said not to be so hard on myself, it does take time to heal, especially when our loved ones die in a traumatic way. So, don't be so hard on yourself, it is normal and it is just another step in the grieving process. This time of year seems to bring on more of these feelings than normal. We just need to remember to take one day at a time and we will get through this. Hugs & prayers, Corinne

William, After John died, there were constant letters from creditors for him. I just wrote on the envelope "Return to Sender Recipient Deceased". It did seem to work. Are you taking your meds? Hugs & prayers, Corinne

Wendy, I am keeping both your Mom and you in my prayers. Please remember to take your meds, you need to take care of yourself right now. Hugs & prayers, Corinne

William, I am glad you made it through the birthday hurdle. I get to do that next Sat. My brother is having a Christmas party that night so at least I will be busy and not just sitting home thinking. Hugs & prayers, Corinne

William, I am so glad you checked in today. I was starting to worry about you. I truly think you made the right move with your new house. You could not stay where you were and this will definitely keep you busy. Have you been taking your meds? Hugs & prayers, Corinne

Wendy, I am so sorry for the news of your Mom's biopsy. You really didn't need this right now with everything you're dealing with. Please know that I will keep you and your Mom in my prayers. Keep posting and venting we are here for support. Hugs & prayers, Corinne

Karen my dear friend, I know how you feel and I could tell from your recent posts and lack of posts that you have been down. I have been praying for you. I don't know what it is about the holidays that brings back the memories so strong. I too have been down. I know it is the first year without John for me but it will be 11 yrs. Christmas day since my Jimmy is gone and it is still very hard for me. We need to let ourselves cry and have our moments to release the pain we still feel for our losses and we need to still just take one moment at a time. You have been so strong for everyone here and I for one appreciate everything you post so please keep posting your feelings whether they are good or bad because it does help and it does not mean you are weak it just means that you are human. You are a precious woman, Mom and friend and I will continue to pray for you for strength to make it through another holiday season. I am also praying for everyone here because I can feel the sadness and the lost feeling that we all are going through right now. We can make it through as long as we rely on each other for support. Hugs & prayers to everyone, Corinne