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Chris, You ARE making progress...it's just when we're in the thick of it that we can't see it because we move three steps forward, two steps backward. When we're moving backwards we think we aren't making progress, but it's all a part of it, and overall...we ARE moving forwards. The forwards and backwards is ALL part of the journey. The cookbook is a GREAT idea! And I hope you have a good time in spite of Paula's not being able to share in the food...who knows but what she'll be present anyway. It gives me great comfort to think that maybe, just maybe, George will be tagging along with me tonight...

I love Louisa May Alcott's quote, Mary! Very inspirational.

Happy birthday, Jan! I hope I didn't miss it, I get confused with time differences. In my family we celebrate all month so you can't miss it!

Excuse me? You were told you have to move on, spend time with people more than you do in your already full life, AND you have to find someone else to spend your life with? Your therapist is lucky it wasn't me he/she was talking to! You can go your own pace. And what they mean by "moving on" does NOT mean moving AWAY from your loved one. You don't ever have to leave her behind. And it is YOUR decision alone if you want to spend your life alone or with someone else. Many do not elect to remarry, and that is okay! I guess what I'm trying to say is someone has the nerve telling you how to do this grief journey, everyone is unique and you will find your way in your time.

Mary, good to hear from you again! And glad you love your flooring, and are getting a garbage disposal. It is good to have friends. I was going to meet my son and DIL for a barbque but it's at Camp Harlow and I think I'll bow out...they are bringing their dogs and they'll sit in the back of their truck, I just don't want to do that to Arlie, plus my truck does not have A/C or radio and with no one to go with me, I don't want a repeat of last weekend...hot and miserable. Some local friends invited me for a barbque tomorrow so I think I'll go to that and Arlie can stay in his pen, he wouldn't have to wait so long for me. I'll catch the kids another time.

fae, Well it sort of makes sense and sort of is over my head. I'm glad I don't have to figure it out. BUT it's interesting to think about...makes me wish I'd studied such things because I love learning, expanding, grasping new concepts. Some don't...some like thinking in a box...nothing wrong with that but a box is just such a small part of our world! Anyway, I hope you find your ice cream cone!

Jan, what a dream! I guess I'd have some explaining to do to George, because I didn't (keep his things).

I like that!

I have a brush that is kind of like a pen in that it is filled with water but has a brush on the end, and I use it for blending the watercolor pencil drawing I have done. I got it from Stampin Up too. You create your picture much like the one you did (which is very nice BTW!) but it gently blends the lines left by the pencils to form a picture that looks like it's been painted. I just buy a watercolor pad from Michael's or any art store, it wasn't too expensive. I suppose if I got into doing large ones I'd have to pay what Mary is referring to, but I prefer to do smaller ones so I don't get overwhelmed.

Anne, I'm not sure what she meant either, I tried googling it and got something about nuclear energy...all of which was above my head. Alas, you are all too intellectual for me to understand!

Oh fae, I cried when I read about your rainbow! What a precious sign! That is the sign that means so much to me, for when George died, he went out with a bang, amidst the most spectacular thunder and lightening storm AND A TRIPLE RAINBOW! I have never seen a rainbow during a storm of such magnitude! I was in the middle of the hospital, no windows around, so could not view it, but my sister described it and sent me photos of it, which I later lost in a computer failure. The last few nights I haven't had my computer on because it's been too hot in the house. We have been having a heat wave here for several days and I'm hoping it starts cooling off soon...no air conditioning as this is Oregon and it's supposed to rain and be cool!

I am by no means a watercolor artist but it has helped even my projects look better! Glad you're enjoying it. I know Stampin Up sells some watercolor pencils but probably any arts/craft stores do.

Benji is precious! Give him love for me...

True way of looking at it, Plum...only I've had six husbands or fiances in my life and I'm done. You reach a point... I don't close the door completely, I'm just not looking for that and doubtful it'll happen and I'm okay with that.

Good point, Plum! (have nothing to lose) It is the oddest thing. Jim has been calling me "Baby" lately...I doubt it's just out of habit as it's nearly three years since he broke up with me. Perhaps it's his way of having a hard time letting go? Even though he's the one that did the breaking up? It can be so confusing, I just don't let myself go there. Seriously!

I can't wait to see this at home!

Another option, dear Anne, is to use watercolor pencils. You use them just like regular colored pencils, but later you can apply water with a brush, a whole new way of painting!

It helps to get you started in that direction if you just do one thing today and each day, be it dishes, pay bills, or whatever. Don't try to tackle too much at once or anything big just yet, just start with baby steps.

Oh fae, don't even try catching up with us until you've arrived safely and gotten some sleep!

And none but us fellow grievers can begin to understand that, Anne. My one sister that thinks I've ruined my life with my sweet Arlie (she thinks he costs too much, worries me too much, ties me down, and my life would be better without him) continues her digs about him, in spite of my having told her, "You have your husband, do you mind if I have my dog?". People who have not had this loss cannot begin to understand. With us, we carry this grief inside our hearts always, so that whatever good there is, whatever joy, it must share co-existence with this ever-present grief. My Arlie is that bit of joy.

Oh but Harry, you are so right! That one loss magnifies all of the other losses because it was they that helped us through everything in life! How do we fight the fight without them here...the only way we know is to keep plugging away, all of us banded together...through your relay for cancer, Anne's battle for life, Mary's angst about her sight, fae's facing her fears head on, and me just struggling through life's knocks. We have had to come to the place where we alone make our decisions and fight our fights, but we do it, and grief always awaits us at the end of the day, no matter how busy or full our lives are.

Mary, So glad you are there for Shannon and glad also to hear how good the match is. She doesn't need to worry about bills, etc. right now so glad you are helping sort that out too.

Jan, if Pete were to communicate with you, it'd undoubtedly be through a moth! fae, so glad you got to see the moose safely across the road. I encounter God's creatures every day as I go up/down the mountain, I do love it.

Anne, So glad you are home and have your Benji and they didn't have to do a stint! They will get to the bottom of what's causing the rate to be high and they will take care of it. So glad you had someone there for you yesterday!

No, we live about 60 miles away from each other, we used to spend weekends at my house and always talked on the phone during the week. If you start a relationship with distance, how can you then blame it on the distance? No, sounds like a hand excuse so as not to have to openly talk about the real reason or own responsibility for it.