Brianna Posted September 18, 2016 Report Share Posted September 18, 2016 So lately I have been so scatterbrained. I can't find things. I put things in places I normally wouldn't & I forget to do the most simple things. Like last night, I went to dinner with some friends & I forgot to pay my tab!! Like what?! I am not that person! Thankfully my friend picked it up for me & I can pay him back later but I can't believe I did that!! Or like I went to Grief Share & forgot my book... what was I thinking? Where is my brain? Anybody else going through this? I feel like everything is overwhelming. Its just life, the most simplist of things can be overwhelming. A day that has more than a few things in it can overwhelm me... why can't I function?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted September 18, 2016 Report Share Posted September 18, 2016 I know you'll get tired of hearing this, Brianna, but what you are experiencing is nearly universal and ~ dare I use the word ~ normal. See if this article speaks to you: Has Grief Made You Lose Your Mind? by Megan Devine. Some refer to it as Widow's Brain or Grief Brain. See also this thread: Grief Brain. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheryl J Posted September 18, 2016 Report Share Posted September 18, 2016 1 hour ago, Brianna said: So lately I have been so scatterbrained. I can't find things. I put things in places I normally wouldn't & I forget to do the most simple things. Like last night, I went to dinner with some friends & I forgot to pay my tab!! Like what?! I am not that person! Thankfully my friend picked it up for me & I can pay him back later but I can't believe I did that!! Or like I went to Grief Share & forgot my book... what was I thinking? Where is my brain? Anybody else going through this? I feel like everything is overwhelming. Its just life, the most simplist of things can be overwhelming. A day that has more than a few things in it can overwhelm me... why can't I function?! Brianna, I think most of us that is going through grief do this. I know I catch myself doing the silliest things that I normally would not do or forgetting things that are important. Its like our brain is in a fog. You are not alone. Cheryl 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gettingthrough79 Posted September 18, 2016 Report Share Posted September 18, 2016 I am in a complete fog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gettingthrough79 Posted September 18, 2016 Report Share Posted September 18, 2016 1 hour ago, Cheryl J said: Brianna, I think most of us that is going through grief do this. I know I catch myself doing the silliest things that I normally would not do or forgetting things that are important. Its like our brain is in a fog. You are not alone. Cheryl Hi Cheryl, I just sent you a private message. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 18, 2016 Report Share Posted September 18, 2016 Thank you for those links, Marty. It's true, we do get grief brain. I think of this as like a brain trauma. If we had a major head injury, we wouldn't expect to carry on like nothing happened! This is no different. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdownes Posted September 19, 2016 Report Share Posted September 19, 2016 Brianna things being overwhelming is part of grief sometimes if we even got out of bed or remembered just to breath it is an accomplishment don't be hard on yourself grief is hard work. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brianna Posted September 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 19, 2016 Thanks ya'll I feel like things should be getting better & those around me keep pushing & pushing me to do things & I just can't. I try so hard but I feel like a failure most days... I just can't seem to get it together. I had someone tell me today that because I am still going to Grief Share that I am obsessing. I'm so floored. I just don't even know how to respond. Like I am doing my best, what else can I do? Thank you Marty for the links they are very helpful ::hugs:: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted September 19, 2016 Report Share Posted September 19, 2016 WHAT??? Barely three months into your grief and someone told you today that you're obsessing??? Brianna, I'm so sorry you had to hear such an outlandish comment. Sometimes responding to a statement like that with stony silence is the best answer you can give. Of course you are doing your best. Let that be enough ~ and do NOT listen to such ignorant, insensitive people. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdownes Posted September 19, 2016 Report Share Posted September 19, 2016 Brianna you are not a failure you are grieving the loss of your SO and most people will not understand that some days just breathing is an accomplishment grief is hard work without people pushing you. You do what you feel is right for you and at your pace I am sorry that person said that to you .It is your right to grieve and nobody has the right to take it away or push you through it you move at your own pace it's all you can do hugs 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 19, 2016 Report Share Posted September 19, 2016 11 hours ago, Brianna said: I had someone tell me today that because I am still going to Grief Share that I am obsessing. Unreal! I wonder where people's heads are at sometimes! Clueless! Well that's somebody you can tell hasn't been through it! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdownes Posted September 19, 2016 Report Share Posted September 19, 2016 Definitely Kaycee unless you have been here know one knows what it feels like I wish people would just not say anything if they don't know what to say but I understand 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brianna Posted September 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2016 Thanks ya'll, it made me start to question myself. I haven't been able to stop crying. I don't understand some of the things people say & do... I'm trying so hard but I feel like nothing I do is enough... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 20, 2016 Report Share Posted September 20, 2016 That is how grief is, and don't even try to understand why/how people could say some of the things they do. I learned to grow a real backbone after my husband died, and I'd look people in the eye and tell them how it was rather that accepting their stupid cliches. (And I wonder why I don't have friends! LOL) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brianna Posted September 20, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2016 Thank you Kayc, I'm starting to realize that the people that I thought would be there for me aren't capable & the ones that didn't even think would have been more supportive than I ever dreamed they would be. Between his parents & my friends it's just so hard. It feels like everyday I'm climbing a mountain that I can never seem conquer. I'm so depressed even with the meds my Doctor put me on & I try to start my day positive but I feel like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, I can never escape it. If I'm not crying I am still so sad & I'm sick of trying to mask it for others benefit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted September 21, 2016 Report Share Posted September 21, 2016 On 9/20/2016 at 8:18 AM, Brianna said: I'm starting to realize that the people that I thought would be there for me aren't capable & the ones that didn't even think would have been more supportive than I ever dreamed they would be. That's what I found too when my husband died. It kind of rearranges your friend list! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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