My Baby And Soulmate Is Gone

[marniesmum]

Its been 3 weeks since my baby went with the angels and i just want

her back,i miss her so much she was my life.

marnie was only 2 and a half so still a baby,she had a heart attack in her

sleep and we had no signs that my baby had a poorly heart,i woke up saturday

morning and went downstairs my angel was on the sofa as normal,and i thought she was asleep so i went and made a cup of tea,i then sat on the other sofa with my O/H and looked over to her,i said to my O/H is marnie breathing so i rushed over and my baby was cold and not breathing,my whole life crumbled i tried to give her the kiss of life and pleaded for her to come back to me but she didnt and now all i have to show for my gorgeous girl is an urn with her ashes in,im not finding this easy at all and even with time going by i feel so down,i cry everyday i just want her back with me,we went everywhere together and did everything together she was my routine and my whole life.

Great danes have not got a good life span but 2 and a half she was just a baby she had a few more years to live yet,so why take her from me now.

im so angry,i feel like smashing my house up.this is so not fair ive never felt so much hurt.

i hope you dont mind,but heres my baby.

' alt='>'>' alt='>'>

[shell]

Marniesmum,

Thanks so much for sharing a picture of your baby. What a precious puppy! I am so sorry for your loss, and she was so young. I have lost two of my babies to undetected heart problems and it is heartwrenching. It is so sudden and unexpected and you feel so helpless that you didn't even know they were sick. Wanting to smash up your house is normal anger when something like this happens. Life can be so damned unfair!

Hang in there.

A big hug to you,

Shell

[marniesmum]

thankyou for your reply,i just dont know how to deal with,ive just had my cry for the day and now feel so lost,she was such a beautiful baby,followed me everywhere,i miss taking her for her run down our special field,like you said life isnt fair.

horrible thing is we have just moved 5 weeks ago to a house with a lovely big garden all for marnie,cos we never had this at our last place,took us 2 years to find a house with a garden and a landlord that would accept dogs

[Maylissa]

marniesmom,

I hear your pain and I'm so sorry for the very sudden and unexpected loss of your baby, Marnie.....just a pup yet....that's so heartbreaking. I've heard that heart problems often go undetected and unnoticed in animals, then suddenly they're either terribly sick, or they just as suddenly go, when no one knew anything was even wrong.

And your new yard....just for your girl....that is so so terribly sad. Unfortunately, I know only too well how one, beloved soul becomes your entire focus in life, and when they leave, the big, gaping hole that used to be filled with your beloved and you, leaves you breathless, disbelieving and in shock. This is always, I believe, worse when it's a sudden and unanticipated loss. Your whole world is FAR TOO suddenly blown apart. So your anger is normal....not that knowing that magically takes it away. No, life often is so unfair, it's unbelievable. And it's often very hard to find anything meaningful from events like this, even if that's one of the things we need to get through it.

Post pics anytime you like, though. I haven't even gotten around to choosing one of our own girl yet to post here, but in time I will. Marnie was a very sweet-looking girl. And I'm just so sorry for your loss of her.

[teejay]

i really dont know what to say, since i am not that great in dealing with loss myself. have you tried any other petloss forums? the alpb.org has a chat room that meets 4 days a week and i found that to be very helpful. i understand that it hurts so bad and i wish that i knew you personally so that i could fully understand your grief. i think that in this fast paced world full of cellphones and fax machines we feel so lonely and disconnected from most of our human friends and family that are busy themselves in the so called rat race. i have sat all alone in the middle of the night crying my eyes out while the world just seems to go on. i have driven for miles and miles sometimes thinking and crying.most of us that feel so deeply for out pets are good people and i wan to believe that good people will always prevail from the tribulations of this world. maybe your baby and my baby(blacky are playing right now in heaven looking down on us trying to help one another and happy that we are?? you take care and know that many people are thinking of you tonight,. i pray that you will be able to rest and that angels will hold you tight and take some of the pain form your mind. i remember that i could not sleep for days and eventually just collapsed into a stupor. try not to be so hard on yourselve, because your baby would not want any harm to come to you. they are watching us to see if their love has taught us anything. their goodness and love is suppossed to make us a better person. they are truly angels that have touched our hearts just long enough to prepare us for our eventual journey and for that we should be grateful. take care and god bless you!!!!!!!!!!!!

[shell]

Marniesmum,

I know how bad the pain is. I truly believe that our fur babies are still around us after they are gone. I've had (and lost) many, many babies and every time I lost one, I had signs that they were still with me. I would feel someone jump up on my bed and look to see who it was and there was no other baby there. I would see one of my babies out of the corner of my eye and of course when I looked, he wasn't really "there". So many incidents like this....too many to be wishful thinking or "hallucinations". I think the bond we have with our animals is so intense that they stay around long after to make sure we are ok. So I'm sure your Marnie is still there with you.

Cry all you can. It seems to be the best way to get through grief.

A BIG hug to you,

Shell

[marniesmum]

thx guys reading your replies have been very helpful

if you get the time to sit down and have a coffee,have a look at my angels

life,i made this a few days after marnie went with the angels.

my baby

[MartyT]

Oh my dear Sarah! Your heart must be broken into a million tiny pieces at the loss of this magnificent creature. I've just viewed your amazing slide program, and you must be so grateful to have so many lovely pictures of Marnie. I hope that in the days and weeks ahead it will bring you some comfort to re-visit these pictures and remember all these wonderful moments you shared with your baby. You've captured so much of her personality! I especially love the ones of Marnie flat on her back with her tummy exposed; playing with her canine friends; draped over the arm of the chair or the sofa; opening her Christmas gifts; watching herself in the mirror; and wearing the "Stud Muffin" t-shirt I can see that she is truly a gentle giant with children. Her bearing is regal and her face is so beautiful -- she has the eyes of a wise old soul, doesn't she? I've never seen a Great Dane with floppy ears before, but I love the look -- so much softer and more feminine than cropped! I'm sure her ears were as soft as velvet, and I cannot imagine how you must miss kissing and caressing them. The picture you included with your first post nearly broke my heart -- but your slide show has torn it in two. I am so very, very sorry . . .

[Maylissa]

Marniesmum,

OMG....NOW I see what Marty meant by this tribute to Marnie breaking her heart in two!!! It was so heart-wrenching that it turned me into a total, blubbering sea of tears. I know I missed a few pictures from bawling so hard, I couldn't even see the screen anymore. The love and adoration for your girl is SO apparent....so MANY pictures and videos over her all-too-brief time with you. You've done her proud with this wonderful creation in honour of her life and the abundant joy and happiness she brought you. It is more touching than words can ever do justice. I just can't stop crying....for you, for Marnie's loss....for all of us who love our babies this much. She was so blessed to have a mom like you. Thank you SO much for making this and for sharing it with us.

[marniesmum]

Thankyou for your kind comments, i was and am so proud of marnie,

she was such a little angel and worshipped the ground i walked on.

nearly a year ago marnie was attacked down the field and the dog opened up her back it was very nasty,she had to go sleep and have her back stitched up thats why marnie had the stud muffin t-shirt on to cover her back,for 8 months after that she slept in my bed just me and marnie and it was the nicest 8 months of my life,but since being attacked it changed her into a playful little angel to a scared baby,she never tolerated dogs after that,and wanted to get them before they got her so i feel quite sad that she never really interacted with dogs in the last year of her life,but to be honest i think marnie just prefered my company and playing with me down the field,but i still feel sad about that especially as it wasnt her fault

That chair you saw was marnies chair,and nobody has sat in it since marnie went with the angels,she didnt really fit in it bless her,but she loved that chair

i love all the photos at christmas and birthdays cos she was like a little human opening her presents,she ripped a bit of paper off spat it out then carried on until she got her present,and she had loads

thanks again you 2 for your lovely comments,it means so much to me.

just gonna pop a picture on of when marnie came home from surgery,broke my heart when she got attacked and then came home after surgery all sullen

the vet did a really good job of mending her back,as it was as if she had been slashed by a huge knike sideways twice,they stitched marnie up and made her back look really good and some how smaller.

sorry pic is a bit big,and i dont know how to make it smaller sorry

Edited September 20, 2006 by marniesmum

[dulci'smom]

my baby is gone 3 days. can't talk/write grief too bad. i don't even think ia m ready for this maybbe later. pain

my baby is gone 3 days. can't talk/write grief too bad. i don't even think ia m ready for this maybbe later. pain

[jkw]

When you're ready, we are all here for you. Take care. Kim

[Whiteswan]

I am so very sorry to learn of your baby's passing. My son (8) and I watched the video and were very touched. One very beautiful soul! I have lost many animals to death and I know it is heartbreaking. They are FAMILY. Watching your video reminded us to show extra love to ours so we made sure we gave extra hugs and kisses to our dog and cats. You are in our prayers. Thanks for sharing such a precious life with us. Love and hugs.

[lorikelly]

Dulcismom

I know how you feel. i just lost my beautiful friend Spanky on friday the 22 nd. He was 15 and i loved him with every part of me. i cry constantly and can't believe he is really gone. 12 weeks ago i lost my mom and now my spanky, the pain is so unbearable. i can't imagine my life with out both of them. i just want to know why? i will be praying for you lori

Marniesmom

What a beautiful video of your girl. she was so loved by you and i know that she loved you so much. they give us such unconditional love. i told my spanky before he died that i am a better person b/c of him. i thanked him for being my friend and loving me.

Lori

[avsqr_dancer]

Dear Marniesmom,

I want to add my condolences to those who have already written theirs.

I too (unfortunately) have had a similar experience to yours. I had to put down my beautiful girl dog, Tawny, who was not quite 2 yet. I still do not understand-emotionally-why/how this could happen in one so young. We found out that she had kidney disease, and spent the next week and a half hopeful that the treatment would help. Well, it did, but only for a few days-enough to bring her home and say our goodbyes, which you could not do. But then her numbers went up again and her symptoms worsened and there was nothing left to do but end her suffering and not let her get any worse. But until the day we had to put her down, I just do not think that I actually accepted the fact that she wouldn't make it.

We put her down 5 weeks ago and it has been very hard. This is the first experience I've had with having to put a pet down as my few other pets have died naturally. It is the greatest grief I have ever felt-including experiencing the death of both of my parents last summer only 7 weeks apart and the death of my BIL last April.

The only thing I can say is that it does get easier with time. But I am still unable to look at pictures of her without crying, although I would love to make a tribute to her, as you have done for Marnie.

I hope for you too, with time, your pain will ease and you will start to know peace again. I wish that for all of us who have suffered the devastating loss of our furchildren.

Serl

[avsqr_dancer]

Hi Sarah,

I just viewed your amazing video of Marnie. What a truly beautiful dog who obviously gave you so much love and joy, as you did for her too.

I so admire you for doing this. I also want to do this for my dear Tawny, but so far (after 6 weeks), it still hurts too much to view her pictures. But when I am ready, I will take my cue from you, and at least try to create something as beautiful and moving.

Thank you for sharing it with us.

[marniesmum]

thankyou all for the very kind comments of my babys montage

its been 5 weeks today since marnie left me to go with the angels,and the pain is unbearable,i miss her so much its hurts,i kep expecting marnie to jump on the sofa with me for our hugs,but it just dont come and that kills me.

we did go out and get another great dane,hes a boy this time and he has helped me a bit,keeps my mind occupied for a bit,but im sad that my time isnt occupied with marnie as she was my very special little angel,doofas the new pup is gorgeous and needs me as his mummy,which i hope im doing that cos i know marnie would not me being sad all the time and will want me to try my best at being a new mummy,but i will never forget my angel for as long as i live,marnie really is half of my heart and i love her to bits.

sarah and marnie xx

here is the new puppy doofas

[attachmentid=54]

[avsqr_dancer]

Hi Marniesmom,

Doofus is so adorable. We too got a new pup, actually from the same parents as Tanner and Tawny. I believe that Tawny sent her to us in a way because we did not go looking for another dog. But my DH works with the owner of the parents of these dogs, and he told Rick that his dogs had pups again, and that he still has one female pup left that needs a good home. It was a hard decision because I didn't want to feel as if I'd betrayed Tawny, but like I said, I believe Tawny wanted us to have her and give another dog a good home. So I named her Sweet Pea, which was my nickname for Tawny. I wanted to honor her memory.

I understand about still feeling pain over Marnie's loss. I still miss Tawny so much. No, one animal does not replace another, but it does help to have a new one to give our love to and to see the cycle of life continued. Here is a picture of our precious Tawny. [attachmentid=59]

Hi,

I will now post a picture of Tanner (the big, older one!) and Sweet Pea, who is about 3 months now.

[attachmentid=60]