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I Wish You All The Best


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It is Christmas Season, where one holiday quickly follows on another, where families get together and the public is charitable, and people are at their best or worst. It is a busy time where people decorate and shop and attend services and visit each other. For those who have just lost someone near to them, it is an unbearable time...for those in their first year of loss, it is yet another "first, without..." and very hard to deal with. For those of us who have already survived the first year, it is still another reminder of the loss that is ours to live with.

As my daughter and I unpacked the Christmas decorations, a chore I didn't have my heart into and if not for the kids, wouldn't have tackled at all, I came across the stocking I had made for George. I hung it in the entry by the front door as a tribute to his memory. As I unpacked the ornaments, I ran across the first Christmas ornament I had ever bought him, a beautiful hummingbird...he loved them. I ran into "George and Kay's first Christmas" ornament, two bears skating together...bears was our thing and it looked like us, close and happy. I ran across the ornament that resembled his fishing hat, replete with hooks sticking out of it...a hat I have kept as a cherished reminder of him and what he loved. I ran across the ornament that had a fish and a ruler on it. The dragonfly ornament that he bought me at Crater Lake. the heart shaped blown glass he brought me back from Florida. The musical bears that hold hands...my friend bought us that, she said it looked like us...he loved them so much he used to have them in the back seat of his car and when he'd stop to give these big guys rides to work, they had to sit next to those bears and listen to them singing... :P I ran across the glass nativity set he bought me. And the musical moose we got at our first white elephant Christmas party at our church...we got so much enjoyment out of that...whenever anyone would cough, it would set it off and it would shout, "Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas!" These are the things that comprised our lives, the things that helped bind us together as a family...our unique memories and treasures. Those days are gone forever but not forgotten. George will never be forgotten. His unique spirit and heart will always be treasured and remembered, the same as your loved ones will.

This is a hard season for us to get through...just a week now until Christmas, but I want each of you to know that you are in my heart and prayers and I pray the Father of us all will be with you as you try to get through this time the best you can and I wish you well.

with love now and always,

KayC

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KayC, I wish you a good holiday also. When reading your posts, I wondered how you were able to do what you have this Christmas. This is my first without Larry and nothing is the same. I haven't been able to bring out the ornaments or the stocking with his name on it. Would it help or hurt more, I don't know. The emptiness of not being a part of anything is weighing heavily tonite. The world is busily preparing for a happy time with family and fail to notice those of us who's holidays will never be the same. Do I sound angry, probably, but really just hurting. It will always amaze me that others can turn their heads and look away and not reach out. I guess if anything, I will never forget that lesson. I hope for all of you some peace during this holiday season and I thank you ALL for your encouragement and support these last twelve months.

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Kay C,

Thank you for thinking of us during this time. I am having a very bad night. I am so sick of being so lonley and hurting so bad. I have my son but I want love from my husband. I still cant beleive he is gone. I used to be a strong person now I feel like a child again. I hope things get easier after the holidays. For some reason Sundays always seem to be the worse day of the week for me. Especially the night time. I will be thinking of everyone here as well.

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Kay,

You have such a wonderway with words. I was tearing up as I was reading them. I have yet to unpack the ornaments. Last night Karen's best friend had her annual Christmas party, it was different wwithout Karen there. I hid a lot of it by having a little to drink which helped ease the pain. One of our traditions was giving of ornaments between Karen and her friend. The year was no different, however the ornament was a beatiful one with wolves on it which is my favorite animal. So something old mixed with something new. Today I made some beef tip stew, which is my first time to make something without a recepie, and then Carson and I made cookies from the recepie that my mom used to use for Christmas cookies. I haven't had them for years, and while I was making them it just brought back so many memories.

Chrissy, lately Sundays have been emotional for me, last week I cried off and on most of the day and tonight, I have been on the verge several times. I don't know what it is about Sunday.

To all of you, you all have been on my thoughts and prayers as Christmas comes closer. I hope and Pray each of you will find some peace. All of us are hurting because of our loved ones not being here. This is such a joyous occasion coming up with the celebration of our Lord's birth. It just seems ironic that the upcoming celebration is celebrating a birth while we are grieving a death. Just remember that our loved ones are up in Heaven celebrating with Jesus his birth. They are there no longer hurting, sick, and there are no tears in Heaven, and one day we too will be there to celebrate Jesus's birthday along side our loved ones. I hope the best for all of you and will be praying that God will give all of us some peace as we go through the rest of the next couple of weeks.

Love Always

Derek

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When Sean died, it was a Sunday morning. 10 wk. ago. I think I've mentioned this before, but I woke up at 3:30 am that day and when I got the hospital records, that was his time of death. I didn't have any bad feeling at the time, but it was hard to get back to sleep. It wasn't until 7am that I found out. Every Sunday morning since then, except for one, I have woken up right before 3:30, usually like 3:20 or 3:25. I kind of believe that that night he died, I somehow sensed it. Maybe if he was thinking of me in those last moments, I was able to feel it somehow. Maybe his spirit came to me at his time of death to say goodbye, I don't know. But I wonder why it continues to happen every Sunday morning. How could I possibly know, when I am sleeping that that is the time? It's really strange. Anyone else have anything like this happening? Laurie

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The day my wife died, my sister who was working nights at the time woke up around the time Karen died. She had only had about 2 hours of sleep and she woke up wide awake. She really didn't know what was going on but just a wierd feeling. Since then it hasn't happened but there were about 3 days in a row that right before she went to sleep she heard her name in Karen's voice.

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Laurie,

The day my Jason died I felt weird. I couldnt explain it if I tried. I was out shopping with his mother and sister and just felt this overwhelming need to talk to him. I kept saying to them I dont want him to die. They thought I was crazy until he did and his sister left me a message on my phone saying wow you two were truely soulmates. It was very weird.

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Laurie

I heard my mom call me twice, it was just Lori and thats all aroung 6:30am. my mom died at 6:35 am on a monday morning. sometimes she would wake up to early and call me and i would have to go in and tell her it was to early to wake me. sometimes i wasn't so nice about it, oh how i would give anything now for her to SCREAM my name. one of the things i feel guilty about. anyway i heard my name loud and clear, i jumped up from bed and then realized she wasn't here she was dead. i wish for more but that is all i got. also the day she died i woke about the time she passed and said oh i can sleep a little longer and 10 mins later the phone rang to tell me she passed. i know she came to me, i just wish she would talk to me. i would give anything to hear her voice one more i love you. thanks for listening. lori

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Many years ago my sisters and nephews were in a horrible car wreck...it killed my three year old nephew and made my sister a quadriplegic. It damaged my other sister's brain but it was more mild...anyway, we were following behind in our car, about a half hour behind them, my mom & dad and my little sister and myself. Suddenly my mom heard my sister call out her name, audibly. She looked alarmed...we later found out it was the exact time of their accident.

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It was around 3 am and my husband who was so weak we had to put our ears next to his mouth to hear him speak yelled very loudly, "MaMa your alive, your all alive" and then he left us and died a few hours later. I never knew what he had called his mother as a child since she died when he was 12 so I never met her. Our children called me mom so MaMa was not a name used in our home. When I called his sister to let her know he had died I asked her what he called his mom as a child and she said we all called her MaMa. I truly believed he saw his mother and other loved ones who had passed at that moment when his spirit left his body.

I know he is somewhere waiting for me and we will be together again.

Grace

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In remembrance of my Mother, my siblings and I had gifts to share with each other. I had a recipe in her handwriting of seafood gumbo copied onto a plate that she has always made for Christmas when we got together. As I was giving my gifts to my brothers and sister, the lights in the house blinked 3 times. We all looked at each with tears in our eyes and together said "Yes, Mom we know your hear." It seemed to lift our spirits a little bit.

Missing my Mom,

Trudy

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