Lily Posted April 29, 2008 Report Share Posted April 29, 2008 It's early am and my only hope for some comfort is here with all of you whoknow the pain. It seems that I'm better off when I'm alone because then Ican cry and not feel that I'm making someone feel uncomfortable...when I'mwith someone I have to listen and participate, but it's just a sham. None ofme is really caring about the small talk, or who gets elected or the economy...it all just seems so what? to me...what does it matter. I haven'thad anything that has brought me even a second of joy since my husband died.But people don't seem to realize that crying and talking about your lovedone really helps you...they want to change the subject or tell you you haveto try to do things to keep your mind busy and I find myself losing patiencewith them...I do do things....I keep up the house (it doesnt feel like a homeanymore) I pay the bills, I shop for food, I go out to eat, I go to the dentist, But I don't feel like getting involved in activities that were neverof interest to me before...why do they think they will be now. I finallywent to a counselor. Didn't want to go because what could a counselor do...no one can bring my husband back. But I did go and how it helped was thatit allowed me a place to cry without feeling that it was making someone elseuncomfortable...I don't know how often I'll go but I asked if I could callfor anapppointment if I just needed someone to talk to. Caroline, I understand how you feel. Rich and I were married foralmost 45 years...we grew up together didn't we and shared all of lifesgood times, bad times and times of sorrow. I just told someone the otherday that I never felt old...we went biking and hiking and kayaking and wewalked in the evenings holding hands and joking....just simple times butso heartfelt. I look in the mirror now and I see old lady...and you'reright about invisible...I understand. Lily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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