WendyJ Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Hey everyone, was wondering if anyone else is feeling kinda blue this weekend ? All week I looked forward to a long weekend coming up to relax and maybe get a few projects done around the house, three days with no alarm clock...who can beat that? This was never a big weekend for our family, we sometimes would get together if the weather was nice. But as the day went on at work, this feeling of sadness kept coming over me and getting worse and worse as the end of the work day neared. Well then it hit me, Steve and I used to look forward to the long weekends to get take out, relax and watch tv together, stay up late and then sleep late in the morning, have breakfast together and one night we would make all kinds of hor deurves and rent a couple movies. We would always take a nice drive too if the weather was nice enough. If I do any of that it will be alone this weekend, my daughter may be home for some of the weekend but she is young and has a boyfriend and has things of her own to do. I cried so much on the way home from work, I could not make the stops that I needed to and came right home. Is anyone else feeling this way this weekend? Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Hey Wendy, Sorry, I don't feel that way this time. I have my son to bring food to, I've kept busy with my food bank volunteering, the little bit of gardening I can do with all the rain, and I have someone rebuilding my whole deck that was falling apart. I was talking with the deck builder today, who is 78 and a real craftsman, and I was telling him about Jack. I found myself smiling at the silly things he did and we both did and that smile felt full of love and warmth. I'm so glad that feeling is with me....it's bittersweet, too. I miss him terribly...all the things we had in our life together, but it doesn't encompass me totally like it did before. I'm here to tell you it really does get better, you'll see. You're a strong lady, like they tell us all the time, and you'll be fine. I hope you have a peaceful week-end, my good friend.Love, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynette Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Hi Wendy, I sure wish you lived in Texas, we'd go and have a nice dinner and maybe catch a movie. I've done nothing but cry since I left work. I was really looking forward to these (3) days off. Lay by the pool, read and relax. As I was coming home, I probably saw 3 to 4 campers heading out to go camping with their families. Then the tears started and just wouldn't stop. My sons are grown, married and have their own families, so they are all out of town this weekend. My husband & I would take our 5th wheel to the river just about every holiday and on vacations around this time. Today, when I got home, I changed, got a drink and went to get into the pool but that didn't last long. Every evening when we would get home from work in the summer, we'd put our suits on and jump in the pool and just talk about our day and what our plans would be for the upcoming weekend. Is it going to be like this every time you want to do something you and you're loved one use to do? Just the other day, I was thinking that I was doing a lot better than I was just 2 months ago and then I have days like today. Everyone at work was talking about what their families were doing this weekend and I just wanted to yell at them and shut up! I hate being like this. I feel like all the fun and love that was once in me is totally gone. I just want to be me again. I hope you all have the best weekend that you possibly can, Love, Lynn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
singledad2 Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Wendy,Sorry you're feeling sad today. I too am rather blue right now. The kids are all gone for the evening, and I sit here alone. We used to cherish the quiet times alone. When you have 4 kids in the home, quiet time is a premium! Three day weekends were always looked at as an opportunity to spend an extra day together doing 'us stuff'. Somehow, an extra day to sit in the home alone as the kids are busy with their friends, doesn't seem like such a holiday. I'm sure things will get better with time, but right now it just doesn't seem like this long weekend will be very enjoyable. Don't get me wrong--it is nice to see the kids for an extra day before heading back to work, but not having the love of your life to sleep late with, steal mischevious glances from, joke with, and simply relax and enjoy their company, is very difficult. Good luck with things this weekend. Hopefully, things will get better for you.SD2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted May 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Thank you all my friends who responded, it sounds like we all need the 3 days to rest and relax yet the same time we are feeling so lost and lonely. I too thought I was doing pretty good Lynn but today it just hit me hard again. Today reminded me of the first warm day this year of Spring, seeing families outside together etc and I realized I was going home to an empty house...a lonely house. I wish you all a wonderful holiday weekend and together we will get thru this newest hurdle.Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Hi Wendy,these are the loneliest of times. It seems everyone I know is planning something this weekend and I know it will be another painfully long time alone for most of us. I went to the store today and bought all the stuff for a cook out like we always did on these occasions. I will try to go through with it for my daughters' sake but it will not be a fun time for me. My life is full of emptiness and I don't think much of anything has any meaning any more. I wish for you and all my other friends here a happier time and I remain hopeful there will be one.Art Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted May 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Thank You Art, I hope you enjoy your day...wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all get together for our own BBQ together? We could laugh and cry and tell some wonderful stories of our loved ones. So sad that we are scattered all over.Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leeann Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 (((((Hugs))))To all of you. Yes, my loss is different from yours, but it also has been dampening my spirits as well all of this week. I am recalling all of the picnics (rain or shine), parades and fun with my lost loved ones. I miss that terribly too. Yes.. I have my husband and kids.. but clearly ... things are not the way they used to be and .. I miss that. I think last year.. I was just in a fog and didn't celebrate much of any holiday.. and this year.. I kinda have to for my kids' sake and my hub's too. We have to go on. But my heart will be less than in it as well. But I'll 'fake it til I make it' as best I can.But.. for you all... I was just going to suggest that perhaps.. if you all could.. maybe come on back here and have a 'BBQ Post' instead of a roast.Why not start a thread tomorrow night and post some stories right here?I'm so sorry for all of your losses. And please know I keep you all close in my thoughts too.leeann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted May 24, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Leeann what a wonderful idea ! What time should we do this as we are all in different time zones ? Does anyone else want to meet here tomorrow night?Love and Hugs, Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teny Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Hellow Wendy Im so sory you feel sad but Im feeling all weekends the same I miss him I miss my life I miss me.We have to read the post that KAREN is giving all of us some gourage.I do think of you and all my far away friends TENY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinne Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Wendy my good friend,As you know I have not been posting because I am now back to work full time and trying to keep up with my girls, but I have been reading the posts and trying to keep up as much as possible. I know just how you feel. Here it is another long holiday weekend. I have no plans for the weekend either, it will just be me and the girls. My girls are my whole life right now, but I so miss having adult interaction. At 45 you can only discuss so much about which new "icarly", "Spongebob", or "Hannah Montana" show is coming on. I so miss the fishing trips and long walks in the woods just to get away from everything. Oh well, now I am just sounding sorry for myself. I need to be thankful for what I do have, two beautiful happy and healthy little girls. I really just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in your feelings and as always I am here for you. Love and Hugs, Corinne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest moparlicious Posted May 24, 2008 Report Share Posted May 24, 2008 Wendy,My dear friend, I know exactly how you feel. Dan and I along with the kids would always spend this weekend and go camping,it never failed to rain also, we would love to fish in the rain and laugh at our silliness.At 40, my children are all I have now,they are so busy with their own lives, I feel so alone.I like you, cried all the way home from work, bombed my test at school,and seriously thought about drinking to pass out, I prayed and just fell asleep. I know Dan is always with me,I feel your pain and validate it for it way more than sucks.My sister in law is still in the hospital and it looks like that is where I will be spending my weekend, ugh. I am here for you my dear and the bbq post is a wonderful idea!!! I send you many virtual hugs and know that I am here for you in any way possible!!!!!! All my love, Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted May 25, 2008 Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 Hi Wendy,Just wanted to tell you I understand the long weekend sadness. I'm retired but holidays are especially hard anyway. My husband died Feb.23rd. so yesterday was 3 months and our wedding anniversary is May 30th. and his birthday was May 13th. So this whole month I have been a mess. I just wish I had some answers or help or something to offer but I'm just a shell going through the routines of basic living. I will pray for you, me and all in pain. Being alone is just so hard. If I ever find an answer that works I'll be screaming it out. The tears come at any time and like you, I have to come home without accomplishing errands etc. that I really need to get done.The one thing we can hold on to is that we are not alone and that helps.Bless you and hope you will find some relief over this long weekend.Caroline Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fred Posted May 25, 2008 Report Share Posted May 25, 2008 Caroline, Wendy has a post about accomplishing chores and errands under the ¨behaviors in bereavement¨ section that might help for a moment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 27, 2008 Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 Wendy,I am afraid many of us feel the same way as you do to some extent or another...Karen is right that it gets better with time, but it is not the same. Gone are the days when I would look forward to the weekends and camping or something special with George. I was thinking maybe I might get some things caught up around here, but my heart is not in it.Today I volunteered to help clean out a lady's home that had to go to a nursing home, we are getting things ready for a garage sale and there was much sorting and cleaning to be done. It occupied my time so I didn't have time to stay home and think and feel sorry for myself. But eventually I had to come home and it is so alone and quiet here.It's almost over and back to the grind... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted May 27, 2008 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2008 Thanks everyone for reponding, I know this weekend was tough on alot of us. Most of us welcomed the 3 days off but it gave us too much time to think and miss our loved ones. Thank goodness we all have eachother here, what would we do without eachother for love and support?Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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