DoubleJo Posted June 9, 2008 Report Share Posted June 9, 2008 Well, I found out today that my marriage to my second husband doesn't count in the social security world. I cannot collect my husbands' benefits because you need to be married at least 9 months, and tho we lived together for 3 1/2 years, he died one month after we got married. I was shocked and dismayed. Another loss. Very ironic, too because Curt wanted to marry me right away but I put it off so my old financial business would be completed first. Ah well- another day in the life of this weird world we are all spinning in. I like the "no news is good news " better. Waiting now for a report to see if I have breast cancer. DoubleJo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted June 9, 2008 Report Share Posted June 9, 2008 OMG I am so sorry for all that you are going through, when will you know about the breast cancer? Please let us know and our prayers will be with you.Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenb Posted June 9, 2008 Report Share Posted June 9, 2008 Oh, my God....first Kay has problems and now look at you. This is the second time today I feel so badly for long-time friends in this group. I'd be so mad at that....who knows what we're supposed to do anymore? I sure don't, but I keep trying. Good luck on the breast cancer thing. I'm doing my annual go to everyone and see what's going on. I sure wish you luck in that area...mine came out fine. Boy, don't we have to put ourselves through such undignified things. Let us know how you're doing on that....hang in there my friend.Your friend, Karen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted June 9, 2008 Report Share Posted June 9, 2008 Oh DoubleJo ~ not you too?! Enough, I say, enough! How I wish I had a magic wand in the trunk of my car that I could pull out at times like this. For now, all I can say is that I am so sorry to learn your awful news, too, and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Please stay close to all of us here, dear one, and know that you are not alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinne Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 DoubleJo,I am sorry to hear about your news. It is so unfair sometimes how government can say that because you were only "married on paper" one month you are not entitled to any benefits. Please know that I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers concerning your health. Hugs & prayers,Corinne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Doublejo,I am so sorry, words are not enough. I wish the gov't was something tangible we could kick the crud out of but they hide behind the mask of passing the buck to someone else. Married is married, that is just wrong. Please keep us posted on the breast cancer, let's just hope it's not, but I have a dear friend who has licked it and know you can too. I love you and send you my support!KayC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ustwo Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 DoubleJO....it's just not fair about social security. I'm so sorry. My husband's x has been drawing benefits for nearly 3 years. I get to start drawing in November. She attended the funeral and then went straight to file for benefits and then lied to her daughter saying they just started sending them to her. That lie really got to me and her daughter who calls me her other Mom. Anyway so many things just aren't fair.I'll be praying you get good results and find out that it's just a simple medical thing. Do you have family around you for support? You are in my prayers.Always Gene!Always! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoubleJo Posted June 10, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Thank you all so much. I was overwhelmed by all your quick replies.I hope to get an answer to my checkup this week. I will let you know how it turns out. Hopefully I will let out a big yell that all is okay.Ustwo- Sorry you have to have this dig in your side. I don't have any family. My dad died 1 year after my first husband died, and my mother died 2 months after my second died. We had no children. So, its' me and my dogs who do give me comfort tho not too much conversation. I'm only just turned 58 so I hope my breasts are just slow starters and anything found means I'm getting bigger. Look out Dolly Parton! Its' the waiting that gets to you. You all made my day- actually, you all made my week. DoubleJo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ustwo Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 DoubleJo......you have a family here that supports you and always be here...got your back. I had a scare about 5 years ago......yes the waiting is the hard part. Landed up being a cyst. Guess it's a learning process about Government loop-holes.....how can a marriage not count on some things. We all will be looking for a good check up from you.Always Gene!Always! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teny Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Doublejo I want to add with all friends here my best wishes for good news.Im thinking of you and want to thank you for beeing here for me every time I need suport.Your friend from far away TENY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest moparlicious Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 Double Jo,I am really lost for words on this and all I can say is I'm so sorry, but I am going to keep the faith and pray it will come out fine!!!!! I will be waiting for the yell of relief. I know what you mean about social security, I applied as well, and they told me I was too "young" to collect benefits!!! I am only 40 years old and my husband was 41.They said I had to wait till I was 50 and disabled or not remarry and receive his full benefits when I am 62. Then our children are too old to receive from their dad as well. They are 20,19 and 17. Too old, too young, this system sucks and should be heavily looked at. If we weren't some busy getting revenge for the past 7 years and we worried about our country for once,things need to change!!!!!! It angers me to no end, my husband worked hard, but we did not plan. Had no insurance and never expected the unexpected.You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyG Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 DoubleJo,You also have my thoughts and prayers that your tests come back negative. With so many other worries in your life, you shouldn't have to deal with this too.Ah, Social Security. My dad died when my mother was 58 and she had to wait four years before she could start getting Social Security checks - plus, she was a year and a half too young to collect any 401K payments without paying a penalty. She had only a part-time job, but fortunately my sister and I were able to keep her afloat till she turned 59 1/2. I thank God that, now I'm a 58-year-old widow myself, I have a good job to support me till it's time to retire.It's even worse when you try to claim Social Security disability benefits. We applied for benefits for my husband in October 2006, after his doctors said he couldn't work anymore. When Bill died last November, Social Security still had not told us word one about his benefits application. We'd probably still be waiting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted June 10, 2008 Report Share Posted June 10, 2008 I agree that Social Security is horrible. My husband was getting disability for years so between that and helping out my sister sitting with her twins so she could work he was still bringing in a couple thousand a month. Well when he passed what do I get as income now for him ? 0000000000000 !!! So now not only do I now have to survive on my own money but all those years that my husband did work since he was 18 years old and paid his taxes did nothing to help out his family to keep their heads above water when he passed. They told me to check back in 13 years ! Gee thanks to our government for nothing !Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoubleJo Posted June 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Thank you all for sharing your experiences with me and bracing me so I wouldn't fall. Yay! Dolly Parton is safe for another year ! DoubleJo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corinne Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 DoubleJo,I am so glad to hear that your results came back negative and you are good for another year!Hugs & prayers,Corinne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WendyJ Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Whew ! Thank goodness Dolly ! LOL Yay !Love,Wendy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Oh wonderful news!!! We need some good news on this site anyway we can get it!! I'm so relieved for you, now take some deep breaths and relax. I'm so happy for you. Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 Doublejo,We are all so happy for you! Yes, late bloomer indeed! This must have come as a trdmendous relief.Love,KayC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest moparlicious Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 A.K.A "Dolly",My dear and loyal friend the screams of happiness have began. Thank God. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for the good news!!! Love, Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lyn Posted June 11, 2008 Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 DoubleJo,I am so happy that your result is negative. HUGS... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoubleJo Posted June 12, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2008 Thank you all for all your concerns and prayers, and sharing in my relief.This was a second test the lab/doctor wanted to clarify their concerns.Yes- some good news is welcomed. Now if I could only spread around some of my relief and blessings to make all your lives a little smoother too. Having all your wishes was like having cushions around me, softening any blows. DoubleJo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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