I Made It Home...now What?

[NotCoping]

I'm finally home after around 4000 miles of travel with the dog. I accomplished my mission and honored my husband's wishes. Now that I'm here in this empty house that no longer smells like him or me, what do I do now? I don't have a plan. Knowing I had to make the trip was something I had to do, and all else was put on hold.

Thank you all for sticking by me during this heart broken and painful journey.

[NotCoping]

I didn't mention that Monday the 25th was my birthday. I was glad I was in the pouring rain in Shreveport so I couldn't think about how special my husband always made it for me.

[MartyT]

Oh Mel, I'm so sorry we missed your birthday on Monday. Please accept our belated but sincere best wishes ~ and know that we're all still here to welcome you home.

[mrspapajohn]

Mel - - I'm sorry that I missed your birthday. I'm glad you got through it. I know it must be rough. Mine is in June and I'm definitely not looking forward to it.

It stinks being home in an empty house. I hope that your dog will help a little. I would be truly lost without my cats. I wish that I could tell you what to do now, but I don't know myself. Do you plan to look for a job? That may take up some of your focus. No matter what you decide, good luck. You have been an inspiration.

Kathy

[kath]

Welcome back, Mel. You made it! What a tremendous thing you did. You showed courage, and dedication and love and have inspired so many of us to reach beyond our comfort zones. My first birthday without Bob was a total bust. It will be special again, but at this time, what you had to do made you special.

Happy belated!

As far as the house goes, maybe detaching yourself from it will give you the oomph to look for something else. You've mentioned that before. If not, it won't take long for it to feel like home again. I bet your dog still picks up your scents!

Love,

Kath

[missing B]

welcome home. And happy belated birthday. I wish there was a way we could help you decide what to do next. If you think of something let me know cuz I dont know what Im supposed to do either.

[mlg]

It's funny because I was just getting on to personal message you to see if you were home because I was getting worried and there was your post. I'm so happy that you are home safe and sound. Sorry we missed your b'day, but here's a big b'day (((((((HUG))))))))

[leeann]

Belated Birthday Greetings Mel.. ((((((Hugs))))))

And Welcome Home!

Plan???? Do you absolutely need a plan at this very second???? Can it wait a few days??? Just try to relax after such a huge and emotional trip for a bit. Get your breath back. And see how you feel and what you think after a decent rest.

Glad you are back safe & sound.

leeann

[Boo Mayhew]

Hey Mel

Am happy to hear that you got home safe. I just wanted to tell you that you inspired me to drive to Denmark and back to the UK again.

When I got home, I had a real bad time if I'm honest ... the downstairs lights weren't working and it just compounded the fact that Cliff wasn't there. I felt lost again and although I missed having the company of his family (whilst on the trip in Denmark) I also needed solitude so that I could let go and let it all out properly.

I guess it sounds like that's what you are doing too at the moment. I'm sorry hun. There's nothing we can do to take this awful hurt away from you but we can be here for you and we are.

Take care of yourself. Slowly slowly, one day and one step at a time. Let it out for a couple of weeks and good luck with the job hunting when you start that.

Kiss to Rascal

xx

[NotCoping]

Thanks everyone.

Boo, it seems we're living some parallels. I have a light that I always turn on in the living room. It was working when I left. It's not the bulbs or the breaker; it just quit. It's just compounds the darkness. As for what next - I have lots of mundane chores and mail to take care of, but I do have to start working on finding a job. The first thing I suppose is send out a mass email to people I know. I find that to be an effective way to get work, but it has been a while since I've had to do it.

It's so strange to me to be in total survival mode and nothing more.

[Boo Mayhew]

It is strange, but we are in a strange, if not brave new world ... and I think that's all we can ask of ourselves right now. Nothing more, nothing less. Occasionally we may act like the Mavericks that we really are (or were) and do things like drive across the USA or Europe ... and other times we need to just do what we HAVE to do to survive this. I guess we need to find ourselves again. I feel as though I have been shattered into a million fragments and need to put myself back together again (bit like Humpty Dumpty )

Thank you for being my inspiration to make the trip though, Mel. It was very important to me to prove to myself that I CAN do stuff like that EVEN without Cliff. Seriously, thank you xx

[marsha]

Mel - now, you rest. You made an amazing journey, one I couldn't have done, and what strength to have done it! "Now what?" is a question we all ask ourselves. Life used to be easier, now it seems we have to work to get through each day, and concentrate on it. The day to day advice still applies. Please just be gentle on yourself, and take it easy. hugs, marsha

[kayc]

I didn't mention that Monday the 25th was my birthday. I was glad I was in the pouring rain in Shreveport so I couldn't think about how special my husband always made it for me.

Mel, Happy Belated Birthday! George always made such a big deal about my birthday and Valentine's, etc., it was really hard when on my first birthday without him, no one contacted me...such a stark contrast! I'm sorry we missed yours...have you entered it on the calendar here? Now we just need to remember to LOOK at it!

We're glad you're back and I hope some work materializes shortly.

When George died, I remember the sink plugged up royally, I couldn't snake it out or get it unstopped for anything...however, someone came to my rescue, and somehow, everything that has needed taken care of has been, little by little. I think Wendy can attest to that too. It's a little scary for us women who aren't mechanically inclined...it's equally daunting for the men who don't cook...too bad we can't hook up and help each other out with what we're good at!

It'll all work out, you'll see...now take a deep breath, you're home!

Kay

[NotCoping]

For those who say I've been an inspiration:

I don't know much, but I can say that in our darkest hour, we have two choices:

We either put on our fake, but best, faces and plow through, or we lay down and die. According to the doctors I had to face today, maybe I did both. We'll see when the tests come back, but I DID fulfill a promise, and for that, I'm eternally grateful.