laurieb Posted June 29, 2009 Report Share Posted June 29, 2009 This is my first time posting. I am new to all this and have read so many of your posts. It does help to know that I am not alone in this pain. Weekends are always so difficult and this was no different. There are so many conversations that are left silent, so much laughter that is no longer and it is just so very painful... I just pray and try to keep it in the present because when I think of the future without him and what my life will hold it it just too unbearable right now. Laurie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlg Posted June 29, 2009 Report Share Posted June 29, 2009 Try not to think too much to the future right now. Just take it a minute at a time. I'm afraid you'll set yourself up for more hurt if you try to think too far in advance. Don't put too many expectations on yourself. Get up, get dressed, eat and sleep. Those are the mose important things right now. Beyond that just function the best that you can. If you do well, then take a little bigger step, but just go slowly. Just know we are here to catch you if you do fall backwards and to cheer you on as you walk forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarrysGirl Posted June 29, 2009 Report Share Posted June 29, 2009 Laurie, the weekends are pretty tough on me too. It is hard to see families and friends get on with the weekend activities that we once used to enjoy also. I haven't adjusted to it well, the loneliness is very hard still. I just miss HIM! Take it a day at a time and take care of yourself, Deborah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrspapajohn Posted June 29, 2009 Report Share Posted June 29, 2009 Laurie - - I am sorry that you had to join our group and so sorry that you lost your husband. The first few months seem especially rough, so please take mlg's advice and just do what you need to do to keep going. Please come back and tell us your story and how you are doing.Kathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Mayhew Posted June 29, 2009 Report Share Posted June 29, 2009 Hi Lauriewelcome to our family. I'm so sorry for your loss.I'd echo what Mary Linda said ... one day at a time, one step at a time. No more, no less, for the moment.Try to eat a little and sleep when you can. Keep posting here Laurie, because expressing yourself helps such a lot, and you will find nothing but empathy here.x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeanneC Posted June 29, 2009 Report Share Posted June 29, 2009 Hi Laurie:So sorry for your loss. Right now everything is so unbearable. Just take one day at a time and don't think too far ahead. Make sure you take the advice of Mary Linda and Boo. Eat, sleep get dressed. Take care of yourself. We all know what you are going through. For some it has been a long journey and for some it has just happened. I do know for me it has gotten easier. I just posted that yesterday was the one year anniversary for my loss of my husband Alex.I hope you don't stop posting. Just remember we are all here for you.Love and God Bless,Jeanne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 29, 2009 Report Share Posted June 29, 2009 Laurie,We're sorry you've had to enter this club of grief that none of us wanted to join, but it really does help to get it all out. This is such a caring site, it has been a lifesaver for me, and I pray it will be for your too.Kay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laurieb Posted June 29, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 29, 2009 Thank you to all of you for your support. It was so very nice to hear such wisdom shared. I guess I felt like I should be how the outside world is seeing me...ok with everything. I feel like I am two people, one at work and the real me at home with the broken heart. I cant wait until its friday and my week is over and then the pain hits of how long the weekend will be only to start it all over again!! My husband died suddenly of an aortic dissection (like what john ridder had) he was fine that morning and they did not catch it until it was too late. He worked out everyday of his life and was so healthy. I know that God called him and I do believe he is in a better place, selfishly..I just miss him. Thank you again to all of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ulver101 Posted July 5, 2009 Report Share Posted July 5, 2009 This is my first time posting. I am new to all this and have read so many of your posts. It does help to know that I am not alone in this pain. Weekends are always so difficult and this was no different. There are so many conversations that are left silent, so much laughter that is no longer and it is just so very painful... I just pray and try to keep it in the present because when I think of the future without him and what my life will hold it it just too unbearable right now. Laurie I have just passed the five week anniversary of my husband's death. It has been surreal, a whirlwind of activity, hardly time to think, feeling numb. Just came back home on Friday after taking his ashes to his birthplace in England, hoping to help his mom by having a simple family memorial. Now I'm home, it's July 4th weekend, the house is empty, the sympathy cards are still here. I feel like I'm finally beginning to realize Andy's gone. You're right, it feels unbearable. I'm hoping this site will help me eventually come to terms with his death. Sue Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marsha Posted July 5, 2009 Report Share Posted July 5, 2009 Sue and Laurie - I'm very sorry for your loss. The wisdom here is hard earned, and the words spoken are from those who have, and are, going through it, just like both of you. Grief is very personal to each of us, yet there are similarities that are shared by all. I'm glad you both found your way here to talk, and express how you're feeling. I can't add much that hasn't been said, except to try and live in the here and now, in the moment. Your focus right now is on yourselves, to get through each day. Hugs, Marsha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laurieb Posted July 5, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 5, 2009 Sue,I'm sitting here on a rainy sunday all alone and trying not to have the walls come in. I am so sorry for your loss. I have found this website a saving grace. I look forward to coming home to read the posts. I can share that Marsha is so very right.. the second I start to think about my future without Scott I just crumble. I can take it just a minute at a time. and I hope the future will allow me to get through a day at a time. I am praying all the time these days as I can't do this on my own. It helps to know that I am not alone.My prayers and support are with you. Hugs,laurie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrspapajohn Posted July 5, 2009 Report Share Posted July 5, 2009 Sue and Laurie - - I so wish that I could say something that would make this terrible loss easier for you. Tomorrow it will be six months since I lost my husband, Stephen, and I am already preparing for this dark anniversary. I must say that on the outside at least, things have gotten better. The numbness has worn off and the real work of grieving has begun. I know the love in my heart will last forever, and that is a comfort. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.Kathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moparlicious Posted July 6, 2009 Report Share Posted July 6, 2009 Hello.I want to welcome you to our site and also tell you how it saddens my heart that another person has to go through this terrible heartache and pain. On this site you will find the truest most amazing people in the whole world, every single person on this site has been so warm, caring and always here for each other. I love you all, you are my world and I thank you all for being the best ever!!!!!! Take care of yourself and keep coming back. At the age of 41 I lost my beloved Dan to cancer, even though it will be 2 years August 20th, my kids and I miss him so much. I have 2 of his jackets, they still smell like him, but anyways I am rambling. I hope we can help you through another minute of the day and know that you are not alone. With love and care, Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laurieb Posted July 8, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 thank you kim, how very kind you are Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 Sue,Please accept my sympathy at your loss...we are all here to support each other in their journey. You have come across a very special site, please feel free to express your feelings and what you are going through at any time, there's usually someone on line here at any given time.Kay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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