Lucia Abeytia Posted November 14, 2009 Report Share Posted November 14, 2009 34 years ago today I married the love of my life, my best friend, I have been up all night just thinking of him remembering how happy we both were...Our parents were both against us getting married it was the age thing...but that didn't matter we knew that we were going to spend the rest of our lifes together...on Nov 18 it will be 9mnts and I think today has been the worst day since he died in Feb...We were suppose to grow old together and after I retired we were going to travel and do the things that we always wanted to do but our kids always came 1st for both of us...I have been crying and just thinking of what we did last year on this day...He was very sick but when I came home from work with the help of our daughter he had cooked dinner for me and had brought me flowers carnations because he loved carnations and he made sure that the table was set with candles and everything...I thank my daughter for making sure she helped her dad because that was the last time we celebrated our annivarsary now I just have all the memories and that is the best memory of all because he was just like a little kid and knew that he was not up to going anywhere...I am so glad that God gave us 33 years together and 7 children...Today I will spend the day with my kids and maybe I can keep from crying my daughter wants all of us to celebrate this day so she is making Steaks for all of us because that is what they made last year Ben and I loved Steak and bake potatoes...I love him so much and miss him...I know that some day we will be together again!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kath Posted November 14, 2009 Report Share Posted November 14, 2009 Dear Lucia, I know how incredibly hard these special days can be. Please take comfort in your children. I'm happy, too, your daughter was able to help your husband prepare a wonderful anniversary memory for you. It seems we hold onto those last days so much as we go through this. I don't know when it actually happens, but slowly I have been moving past the last moments and remembering bits of all the years together. I hope you will hold some of those close to your heart as well. After 34 years, you must have a lot of wonderful memories. May you find peace in the telling as you share them with your children today. Love, Kath Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marsha Posted November 14, 2009 Report Share Posted November 14, 2009 Peace to you, today, Lucia - I hope love and good memories surround you - Hugs, Marsha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted November 14, 2009 Report Share Posted November 14, 2009 Wishing you peace and healing this day, and every day that follows, Lucia dear . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryo Posted November 15, 2009 Report Share Posted November 15, 2009 Hi Lucia, I hope you and your family find comfort today with all your 33 years of special memories. Take care. Mary Lou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucia Abeytia Posted November 15, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 15, 2009 Today has been such a long day..I have tried to be happy for the kids sake but the tears just keep coming...I miss Ben so much today Its just like the day that i lost him...I feel so lonely I have hole in my heart and i don't think i will ever be the same...just when I think I can do this I find out I can't...my life will never be the same...His son for his 1st marriage got out of prison on Thursday his name is Benito as well and today was the 1st time I had seen him since he got out...Of all our sons he is the one that looks the most like him and he sounds like him to!!! It was so hard to look at him i had to have my daughter bring me home early because I couldn't take it...I feel bad because i couldn't even bare to look at him...Everyone says it gets easier but I don't think it will Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LindaKoz Posted November 15, 2009 Report Share Posted November 15, 2009 Oh, Lucia, my heart goes out to you on this very special but very sad day. I wish there was a way to take away your pain . . . I would do that for all of us if I could. Hang on to all of you wonderful memories. I hope that in time the sadness will ease a bit. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs from Pa. Peace, love, and blessings, Linda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucia Abeytia Posted November 15, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 15, 2009 Thank you Linda for your kind words...I have be thinking of all the wonderful years we had together and that makes me even sadder because I will never have another day with him our time together was to short we didn't have time to do everything we had planned to do together...God took him before I was ready to let him go Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Mayhew Posted November 15, 2009 Report Share Posted November 15, 2009 Lucia, anniversaries are always extremely painful. I reckon they may always be. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Reading both your posts within this topic brought back vividly things that my Dad and Aunt said to me a long time ago: My Dad told me that sometimes it hurt him to look at me because I looked like/sounded like my Mom so so much. Although he said that I was not quite as good looking as my Mom (I liked that because it showed me how much he loved her). It made me feel sad yet it also gave me comfort that I took after her - please be sure to tell Benito how you feel because from what you have told us about Ben, it will make him feel proud and will also ensure that he understands why you are not looking at him!!! If he is not told then his own imagination will fill in the gaps and that could lead him to who knows where ... My Aunt told me that my Grandmother had told her that as we get older/bereaved ... we are left with the memories and that is what is the most important to us. I find myself agreeing with both of them today, and I know you do too from what you have written here in this topic. I wish you strength and peace in the days ahead, and really really hope that you will feel a teeny tiny bit lighter in a while, once the anniversary has passed. Please don't feel bad for how you feel Lucia, how could you feel any other way, having lost such a wonderful husband? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucia Abeytia Posted November 15, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 15, 2009 Thank you everyone for your kind words!!! And Boo I did tell Benito that he looked just like his dad and sounded just like him!!! I didn't want him to think i was not happy to see him because I was...but just looking at him made it harder on me...i tried to sleep last night but only sleep for a couple of hours I thought today would be a better day but it has not been better I still feel lost and sad i have been crying so much I am totally exhausted!!!! Thanks for listing..I am going to the park today to celebrate 2 of my grandchildrens birthday so i am hoping it can be better than yesterday... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Mayhew Posted November 15, 2009 Report Share Posted November 15, 2009 Lucia, I am glad you told him because it will give him a lot of warmth and comfort. I should have known you would have, and only mentioned it in case ... because sometimes it is hard to see beyond our own agonizing pain. I hope that the birthdays in the park were good medicine for you and didn't only serve to remind you that your precious Ben wasn't physically there with you ... although I for one believe that he was there ... you just can't see him. Love to you x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrspapajohn Posted November 15, 2009 Report Share Posted November 15, 2009 Lucia - - I am so sorry that you feel so sad. Your anniversary is indeed a special day and no wonder you are so filled with emotions. Give in to them. Your family and friends will understand. Your beloved Ben is in your heart and will always be with you. May your days be filled with peace and love. Kathy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucia Abeytia Posted November 16, 2009 Author Report Share Posted November 16, 2009 This afternoon turned out to be a good afternoon!! We had so much fun we went to South mountain Park...the grandkids and i went hiking and it was such beatutiful weather, my kids bar b cued and i was in charge of all the grandkids, it was so nice just to be out there Ben and I used to take our kids there we had alot of there birthday partys there and we were all talking about how much fun we had and it was so nice to be able to remember Ben without crying...as the grandkids and I were hiking I was telling them stories of when Ben and I would take there parents on that same mountain and I told them all the funny stories of there parents crying because they were to high up the mountain...and were afraid to come down ..... It was nice to just have fun for a change and not spend all day crying....I'm hoping i can have some more good days... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kat2005 Posted November 16, 2009 Report Share Posted November 16, 2009 I am so glad you had a nice day with your family. It is nice to remember the good times without crying. I pray that you have more of the same. Take care, Kat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Korina Posted November 18, 2009 Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 Lucia: It is wonderful that you had a good time with your family. It sounds like you have much love in your life, and that Ben's love is still with you. Even in the really sad times, I feel Scott's love. Lots of hugs, Korina Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kath Posted November 18, 2009 Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 Lucia, Congratulations on a really good day! You deserved it! Kath Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted November 18, 2009 Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 Lucia, I'm sorry I haven't been on line and I missed your anniversary...I just want to say I'm glad you had so many years together and you "went for it", in spite of parent's reservations. (((hugs))) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now