Lainey Posted June 2, 2010 Report Share Posted June 2, 2010 I am a very private person most of the time,but today is a day that I can't share with my children. It is the first Angelversary that I am having, we were married 42 years ago today and the only people who can understand how I am feeling is the people on this site. I had decided in order to honor our anniversary I was going to send two balloons to Heaven for him. I kept busy all morning, went walking ith a friend, had lunch with another friend and when I came home it was time to let them go. The desperate feeling I got as I watched them float away was almost as bad as when he passed. Am I normal to feel this? I cannot stop crying, it is almost six months since he's been gone and I thought I was doing so well, but obviously that is not the case. I have also been dreaming of Lars every night for the past week (went off the sleeping pills).Someone said it means I am letting go...I don't want to yet. At least in the dreams he looks like he is not in pain. That is nice, as he suffered terribly for the last few months of his life. Thank you for letting me vent. I do come to this site often and read many of the posts, and say a prayer for everyone every night. Hugs to all Lainey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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