Explain Our Existance And Our Cease To Exist

[HAP]

Dear pbjb,

You might find the post I wrote on My Last Day At School useful. Part of what is there was inspired by this particular thread.

Peace,

Harry

[pbjb]

Harry...

That was one of the most helpful things I have read on here pertaining to my topic. I went to church today for the first time in years. I felt like a stone sitting there surrounded by people I didn't know. But everytime the pastor spoke of a spiritual life, I listened closely. I thought...I dont want to come back but by the time I got home I changed my mind. I'll be going again next week. Something else I read on your thread that caught my eye was the fact of loving others,helping others. That is something I have always done. Although as I said earlier in my threads, you can only help those who want help. That can be frustrating when you see so much potential in a person that they can't see.

My husband Jeff was a great person when it came to helping others. He had such a kind,loving heart. He did not like it when people told him how good he was or how loved he was. He had a hard time accepting himself. Once he got sick it was even harder on him because he did not want people hurting over him so he began to push people away. I used to tell him keep pushing because we are not going anywhere. He would tear up because he knew his time in the last 6 mos was so limited. I am beginning to understand that his existance had such an impact on people that I believe this is why I feel him when I'm home. If I'm out somewhere I miss him and want to get home. that has to mean something spritually. Like you said if we live our lives with love it wont matter what the truth is. But I'm beginning to believe there has to be more when we are gone.

Thank you for opening my eyes a little more. I felt at ease today for the first time in weeks. Our bodies need extra rest when grieving and I was mistaking this for depression. I am depressed. But not to the point that I can't do anything. I don't want to disapoint him either because he worked so hard to make me strong. But I know he understands that this is too soon to recover from such a loss. And to others out there going through this depression part.don't feel guilt for letting your mind and body rest a little more. It is what we need to help make us strong. Thank you so much for contacting me.........I hope you too feel comfort in knowing you had a wonderfuul life with Jane.

[nats]

PBJB,

I have been following and decided to comment...I truely believe in our spirit lives on after physical death of our bodies, this for me has been reinforced by my contact with Ruth my wife, I have had the touching of an angel in her, my faith is strong and I refuse to let this grief control me, along with God's and her spirit I am continuing on with my purpose, we all question many things we can not control and it changes our lives but we must adapt as our mission is not complete, many of us never even consider that being here for all of us is part of that mission as we are all helping each other! Each of us will take our paths where ever they may lead and as we do the hurt will change but we must want to find the answers we seek before we can continue...may you find the answers you seek...

NATS

[Dwaynecg]

PBJB,

My faith has been shaken but not broken. I know to well in the spirit that is in all us. I feel Pauline's spirit is around me all the time. That God is leading my journey I yet have to travel like all of us have to do. Just keep coming back and we are all here to help.

God Bless, my he give you peace and comfort your soul, and heal your broken heart and spirit.

Dwayne

[pbjb]

Thank you for the encouragement. I am starting to feel there must be something to all this because I always feel him in my heart. I am very comfortable in our home also. That must mean something. I am not afraid. Just sad. And I truley hope someday my life as I new it and my new ventures will encourage others. Your wife looks like she had a wonderful disposition and good sense of humour. Glad you feel her in your life also.

[pbjb]

Dwayne-

I am very grateful for this site and the friends I have made on here. I look forward to healing and maybe someday be able to help others who go through this kind of grief. I'll be going back to church next week. Another big step forward. It is helping me to understand what life is realy all about. I know in time the pain will be less severe and I will never forget what a wonderful 26 years we had together. But moving forward right now seems like it is such slow motion! Glad we are all in this boat helping each other to paddle! Everyone-I hope your day is going in the right direction. pbjb

[HAP]

DearPBJB,

Thank you. I always feel better when I have been of some use to someone.

Jane always wanted to be moving forward, even when she was sick. She did not want to hear about what had gone before--only about what we were going to do next to make things better. The hardest conversation I ever had with her was when I had to tell her there was nothing more we could do--and that I was going to let her go out the way she said she wanted to: that when fighting chance turned to no chance she wanted all the life support removed so she could die with the dignity of knowing.

I have tried since to make sure that every day I keep moving ahead. I look for the positives of every day, even in the face of sadness. That is not to say that every day works out, but every day i try not to stare at the walls--try to find some positive thing I can do to move beyond the grief and back into the world. It is never easy. But what is worth doing rarely is.

Take solace where you can find it. I am not traditionally religious in any sense of the word. But the work in the living world sustains me. Whatever comes next will have to take care of itself.

Peace,

Harry

[kayc]

PBJB,

I feel George in my heart also. I don't understand much about afterlife or the spirit world, but I do not believe life just ends with death...it ends as we know it, but it changes form. They have no more use for their worn out shell of a body, but them, the essence of them, continues. It's not just memories that sustain us, but them! Continue believing in what you know to be true...

[MartyT]

Dear Ones,

I read this beautiful article this morning ~ it seems to fit in this thread:

Resolving Loss through Reconnection: Can We Reconnect with Our Loved Ones after Death?

Published on September 10, 2011 in A Beautiful Grief: Facing life after loss with peace , by Cheryl Eckl

As we share in the personal and national loss that occurred on September 11, 2001, I hope my experience brings comfort to those who mourn.

"Don't try to find me," my husband, Stephen, said a week before he died of colon cancer in 2008. "I won't be here, so don't try to bring me back."

Neither of us could fathom just how desperately I was going to miss him. But he was clearly concerned that my grief might make me do crazy things, like trying to conjure up his departed essence in a seance.

So I promised to leave him in peace. And, because one of my big tests in this life was to trust what he told me, I believed that he would, indeed, be long gone into new adventures on the Other Side. It certainly seemed that Stephen was right. When he slipped away in the darkness of that October morning, his absence was stunning. He was so completely gone, it took my breath away—along with a Stephen-sized chunk of my heart. No one had warned me that loss of my spouse would feel like an amputation.

So, Stephen was true to his word and I was true to mine, doing my best to accept that my solo journey without him was going to be very, very singular. That is, until the next morning when I awoke with the words "There is joy in heaven" ringing in my ears.Still half asleep, I felt myself enveloped in light of unspeakable beauty and apresence that radiated absolute, unconditional love. Read on here >>>

[mfh]

This is a lovely and reassuring blog. Thank you, Marty.

When I finished it I did some clicking on that site and found:

Heal the Trauma Then the Grief

http://www.psycholog...-then-the-grief

It might have some value to some people. Not sure I agree with all of it..

Mary

[kayc]

I don't believe we just "cease to exist". I haven't "seen signs" nor do I think everyone does. Life, to me, seems to change form...some believe in another place you go to, some believe in reincarnation, but pretty much all of us believe people continue on in our memories and hearts. It's is hard for me to believe that George, as vibrant as he was, could just suddenly not be...it makes more sense to me that he is somewhere, and I don't try to figure it all out, I don't have to know all of the answers, just accept that this is what is now and I believe we will be reunited again some day...but our spirits aren't ever that far away.

[mfh]

I am with you, KayC. I believe our consciousness/spirit is out there, in the field, and go on after our bodies die. Otherwise, what is the purpose of being here. Our spirits go on maybe to keep growing...who knows...but I also know Bill is with me...all the time. Peace, Mary

[curley]

Hello to all--My wife of 40 years passed on from the physical plane 6 months ago, two days after the fukishima disaster. Since then, I've gone through many ups and downs, which will go on probably for the rest of my life.

I've had a lot of contact with my wife since her departure from this world. These contacts have been in dreams and waking state. As time passes, I'm working with the task of realizing the raw truth the she is no longer with me on the physical plane, and also realizing that our relationship lives on. I am a human being dwelling on earth and subject to earthly realities, there is no doubt about that fact. But could it be possible that all there is , is what is right in front of us while we are awake. I highly doubt that notion. Don't confuse the brain,the mind and the soul or spirit. The brain is a three pound jelly like organ, sort of the hardware that runs our body. But, what is that inner voice and is there only one? I see it as three major functions. 1. brain which relates to the outside world 2. mind which looks outward and inward. The mind sort of manages both the brain and the connection to the soul and otherworldy contact. You can't be visiting the non-physical world while driving a car, for instance. 3. The soul or spirit. The soul is not human--it has no mass or very little. It can't accomplish tasks on earth, but is part of the greater energy.

My wife has no body, she has left her body behind. Really the person I lived with for forty years was only part of the whole being. Now that she has no body, she is still available to me because of the depth of our earthly connection. Love is not only a physical connection, but a merging of souls.

To those who doubt these notions, I say this. You can choose to believe your brain, your mind or your soul. You can also learn to integrate all three. It is your choice, but one thing for sure is that you cannot prove that all there is to our existence is right in front of us, and why would you even try to. Remember, you can't hear the song if you don't turn the radio on. Be patient and remain open. You may have been having contact with your loved ones all along.