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Anxiety About Spouse's Birthday Coming Up


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Good morning all! I have been gone enjoying a girls weekend in Napa Valley. Had a great time and the time with friends has been so therapeutic and enjoyable. But now I am home and the anxiety of my spouse's birthday is on the horizon. My beloved basset hound that I had to put down, her birthday is November 8, spouse's birthday is November 13 and the 7 month anniversary of his passing is November 12th. Lots of dates coming up that I hope I don't get overwhelmed with. I plan on doing something quiet and special and want to try not to get too anxious about it all, although I don't have a clue what that will be. So glad I have this support group for the lonely times at home. You are always there for me when the crash happens.

Blessings to all

Becky

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That is a load of anniversaries right before the holidays. I am glad you have your support group there....and I will be thinking of you as those days come and go. We are all looking at holidays and anniversaries with a certain anxiety, sadness and hope that we make it through....and we will....we always do. But with pain.

It is a rainy day here....I can hear the car wheels driving through wet streets and rain is predicted all day. I actually do not dread dark rainy days....I guess they match my mood most of the time. Time to paint.

Take care,

Mary mfh

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Hi Becky

I am sorry for the loss of your dear partner and pet. I think you sound great, and the fact, that you had a much deserved weekend, is a positive! Good for you! I think it means you are grateful for life, and the gifts that it has given you. What better way to honor those whom you have lost, then to live happy with peace and love around you. Wishing you continued strength and peace, as those important dates approach.

Mir

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Becky,

I feel your anxiety as well...Thanksgiving is approaching, Ruth's Birthday 12/16 and then Christmas, the three days she Loved the most, I'm already feeling the emotions tangle in my mind and stomach...I am going to be with my new family on those days and not alone and I am so thankful I have them, but even as I build my new life and memories those days without Ruth will be felt I'm sure...my thoughts will be with you, as I told Dave keep the positive energy flowing and we will somehow get by...

NATS

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Hey Becky, Mikes bday and our anniversary where in the same week, and the anticipation was worse then the experience, with that being said not sure why I am struggling so bad this week........ with the 6 month angelversary.......... Anyway will be thinking of you on your filled week! Dave

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Dear Becky,

I am so sorry about your beloved Basset Hound, I would be lost without Sugar, she always greets me, so excited when I come home. Even if it just 10 minutes.

I understand about the birthdays, Pauline's is December 5. What I did not expect was my birthday, being in tears, off and on all day. I spent it with Greg, and took him to Salvation Army store for some clothes. That was one of Pauline's favorite places. It was the first time in the store after she passed, which was just 4 days short of 8 months. Then Greg cooked dinner, for me, and Donna got me a cake. But the tears flowed and it was ok, because Donna understood, an knew Pauline for so many years as best friends. I don't know how I will handle Pauline's birthday. I may be in school. I should find out tomorrow about my funding. I did not get it on Friday, mine was one of 40-50 yet pending for the funding. The director had a big meeting up in Boston today. My counselor told me he asked the director, to get me the funding, he believes it will happen tomorrow, because when the director has those meetings in Boston it means they got more funds.

I am sorry for going on about me. My focus should be on you! All we can do is try our best on those days. I try not to be alone. I will go for my walk and put some flowers in the bay at the bottom of my street. Pauline liked to take her wheel chair and go down to the water front park in the summer. Everyday I walk, I go down there and reflect on all the good and best times we shared together. I was Baptized, 16 years and 1 day, from when we first went to our church. A lot of tears that day also, but also joy, as the pastor reflected on her life and the gift she gave me, and the man I became over all the years of her illness. How it was a true loving marriage. I believe it was the same for you and Randy. I wish we could have met a long time ago. We were all four connected to Abilene, it is truly amazing, how life brings people together, under the darkest of circumstances.

I wish you well my friend Becky, may you find some kind of peace in the days to come. If you need someone to talk to call anytime. I always have time for you.

God Bless, my friend

Love Dwayne

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Becky,

I am glad you had a good time while you were away, but I am so sorry about all of the rash of dates emerging! I am thinking of you today as your beloved dog's birthday, and you'll continue to be in my thoughts on the 12th and 13th. June is like that for me...

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Becky,

I don't remember if I told this group about Rich's 60th birthday, which occurred August 22, three months after he died. I ended up driving 8 hours to stay with Rich's brother and his mother. His brother pleaded with me to stay with him because his mother was so crazy with grief. Now, this brother has chosen not to deal with Rich's death, he told me this. He is a doctor, lecturer, inventor, writer, VA doc, etc. and has buried himself in his work. I spent the first night with this brother. But when I got to his Mothers house, I knew I was in the right place. Poor Ruth had no one to talk to about her son's death. We had the most healing time together I could imagine. We spent a lot of time talking about Rich, about our respective marriages, it was quite enlightening!

I had worried about the long drive, but I got a GPS and it helped a lot. I had worried a lot about his birthday. It went much better than I anticipated. I hope yours does too.

Beth

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