Transformations On This Path

[feralfae]

I am very proud of you for honoring yourself, Mary. {{{hugs}}}

We will have restorative weekend retreats.

Yes, lots of meditation.

Fae

[mfh]

and I shall carry you (and all) in my heart as I finally set up my art room (following chaos) and work on a painting I am doing, unpack, diddle, meditate, read...walk the dog where there are NO people. When I lived in the woods it was much easier to create a retreat weekend. I know it sounds hypersensitive but I can feel the energy around me in this village and we moved here when I was caregiving Bill so since he died is the first time I have lived alone (not caregiving) in the middle of all of frenetic energy around our home. It fuels my running about though is of course a small player in my choices but does make a difference...as opposed to being out on our wooded land surrounded by animals.

Mary

[feralfae]

Yesterday, I received Renee Fleming's Sacred Songs and it is my music for the day. That and Bach.

Fill your soul with peaceful music, and send love to the scurrying crowds outside. Then close the circle of your beautiful, loving energy that is around you, and dwell in peace this weekend. Bentley will know how to join you there.

I have dirt bikes in the neighborhood now, and so, I put on beautiful music, crank up the speakers, send the children motorheads (Doug's term for them) blessings and to be safe, and then I close the little crack in my energy egg, and I step into my own peace, often filling it with the beauty of sound. Renee Fleming is the perfect buffer for this day.

This is going to be a wonderful and peaceful day, no matter what goes on in the world without.

Within, there will be peace. And I send huge helpings of peace to you, Mary, and to Kay, Jan, Anne, Harry, Mary, Marty, Kristen, Shannon, and all who find these words. Peace within you. Peace.

Blessings, dear Mary, and Peace.

fae

[enna]

May music fill our hearts today and every day. Music keeps me grounded and peaceful. I am thankful and full of gratitude for my hearing.

I have no words for some of the beautiful things you say, fae. Thank you.

Mary is listening to her inner self. I would only expect that she would. Happy solitude, dear Mary.

[mfh]

I have been listening to my inner self via a couple of great NPR interviews and very soon I need to detach this laptop from my body and get a shower and take a quiet walk...

[Wifflesnook]

Fae your posting is wonderful. I shall, like Mary, copy that one. Marty some of the contributions on this site are so wonderful they deserve to be collected together. But I'm not sure how the selection would be made, because it would be so hard to choose. I marvel at the wisdom of the people on this forum. I am so lucky to have found it. I wish Pete could read it (but, maybe his wisdom far surpasses ours now). Like all of you I shared my thoughts as well as my life with Pete. We talked about everything (except our own deaths because he couldn't bear even to think about being alive if I were dead). Now I know I have somewhere to go and talk to people whose sensitivity, spiritualism, and empathy is of a very high order indeed.

And yes Fae, I am taking time off today. I've been in bed resting most of the day (only two short dog walks). I'm feeling rather weak, and have a slight sore throat and IBS which tends to come upon me when I'm at a low ebb. I need time to look after myself (since sadly there is no one to do that any more). I hope I can do my four hours duty tomorrow because I don't want to let my fellow Skeals member down, and we had decided that the rota needed two people.

[mfh]

Jan, I totally understand that you do not want to let anyone down but I really really really wish you would not go sit there....I had to say it one more time. Mary

[Wifflesnook]

Mary you are my good angel. But I suspect you would not take your own advice. I'm feeling a tiny bit better now and it's 14 hours before I have to do it. And all I have to do is sit in the church and make tea for anyone who arrives. So I hope I can do it. Jan

[feralfae]

Jan,

Thank you for your kind comments.

Could you just let someone know today that you are not feeling well, that you hope to make it tomorrow, but that you need to get a good night's sleep and see how you feel when you awaken?

Because, if you have any lingering sense of needing rest and healing, then you could let the person know you need someone to stand in for you. Those Churches are damp, musty, and chilly. Sounds like the last environment for someone who needs to heal and rest. SO, I join Mary in asking you to consider yourself First in this effort.

I think it is late evening there already.

*<twinkles>*

fae

[mfh]

Well, Jan, now you have two of us asking you to put YOURSELF first...not that we are experts at this, mind you But sitting in a damp, chilly church with a sore throat...not wise.

[feralfae]

Hi Mary,

I just packed the lovely crystal vase, etched with the outline of the HOW, that was a wedding present when David and I married there among the short cedars.

I have had to quite packing things for a while. Too many memories flooding in of a life well lived, people well loved, and the sense of still being lost a bit in my own home.

I go to make decaf Mexican Chocolate Mocha with almond milk, my total indulgence for the day. I am reading Campbell's Thousand faces again. I have not read it in a long, long time, and I think you mentioned it, so I rescued it from the packing carton, and am reveling in the reading of what seems an entirely new book, albeit with yellowed pages. Thank you, what a treat!

I hope everyone is resting and being at peace today. I am loving the new Fleming album. Glorious!

*<twinkles>*

fae

[feralfae]

And Jan is overcome by our logic and commonsense, no doubt. I am laughing at our tag-team of love.

*<twinkles>*

fae

[mfh]

You are it! Yes, I am sure our logic is pretty overwhelming. I only have to look at some of the things i have done that I should not have done on this 8 year chapter in my life.....to know...you, Jan, may or may not go quietly with our program

[mfh]

fae, our psyches/hearts can only take so much at a time of touching memories. Glad you will turn to mocha! I had a late breakfast so will now figure out what to make for an early dinner as I did not have lunch. I do NOT like cooking for myself...not one bit...and frankly I do a lousy job of it...unless I am in the mood to be creative in the kitchen which is rare.

Enjoy your treat.

Mary

[mfh]

Mary you are my good angel. But I suspect you would not take your own advice. I'm feeling a tiny bit better now and it's 14 hours before I have to do it. And all I have to do is sit in the church and make tea for anyone who arrives. So I hope I can do it. Jan

Well, I am getting better at it but you may be right

[enna]

I cannot stay away from this conversation. Mary, fae, Jan - you are all struggling with that need to care for yourselves - it is a struggle isn't it, dear friends.

My advice - you all know Ferdinand don't you? So, stop and smell the flowers and care for yourselves as you know you need to.

Anne

[mfh]

Oh, but Anne, it is so much easier for me to tell everyone else to take care of themselves.

[enna]

Oh, those of us who know you, Mary, know how you love to gently guide us to 'take care of yourselves.'

Mother used to always say, "Don't do what I do, do what I say." Soooooo, rest dear friends.

[feralfae]

Thank you Anne, for tossing flowers into our occasionally compulsive paths.

Ah, I made a batch of:

I box Hershey's cooking cocoa

2 T vanilla

2 T cinnamon

1/16 t cayenne

1/8 tsp pink salt

I cup agave nectar

1 cup water

My own chocolate syrup, which simmered a while on the stove, and is now cooling. I mix it with my decaf, some almond or coconut milk, and more sweet from stevia, and YUM!

Now I am going to go admire some art, which I am not taking off the walls today. I am just not ready to do that yet.

Jan, rest and heal.

Mary, you are a very good healer, which is why you have so much trouble not jumping in. But you do it so gracefully and with so much love, it is nice to witness.

Anne, it is delightful to have you join the Jan project.

fae

[feralfae]

Anne, I am feeling the flowers.

Are we all resting now?

I am listening to Tara Brach on beingness, sipping Mocha, finished my spinach salad, and am truly kicking back.

Let us all have a day of simply following our hearts toward joy.

Fae

[enna]

I shall be watching all of you. Ask Mary what THAT means.

[feralfae]

Is this like Big Brother, only Big Sister???

I am truly taking it easy today.

[feralfae]

Mary,

That is a wonderful podcast from tara Brach on Beingness. Thank you. I was moved to go make a contribution to her efforts, and am so thankful for her generosity to everyone.

Thank you.

fae

[mfh]

Folks, when Anne says she is watching you...it is almost as if she is in the room with you. You could open your front door and there she is. She even, on a rare occasion calls to check up. Be careful what you tell her...she will watch and you will hear from her................................with her love.

Mary

[mfh]

Thank you Anne, for tossing flowers into our occasionally compulsive paths.

Ah, I made a batch of:

I box Hershey's cooking cocoa

2 T vanilla

2 T cinnamon

1/16 t cayenne

1/8 tsp pink salt

I cup agave nectar

1 cup water

My own chocolate syrup, which simmered a while on the stove, and is now cooling. I mix it with my decaf, some almond or coconut milk, and more sweet from stevia, and YUM!

Now I am going to go admire some art, which I am not taking off the walls today. I am just not ready to do that yet.

Jan, rest and heal.

Mary, you are a very good healer, which is why you have so much trouble not jumping in. But you do it so gracefully and with so much love, it is nice to witness.

Anne, it is delightful to have you join the Jan project.

fae

fae, what is pink salt? that is new to me.

Jan, thank you. I do not want to be a fixer...so if it ever feels that way...scream at me.

I just made the cookies for Bentley. I think he must have known they were for him as I mixed them up because he stood there the entire time. When they came out of the oven, a couple of them stuck to the pan and I scraped that off and he ate that and then 3 more treats. He would eat them all right now if i let him. He is a food horse...I mean dog I could not find my dog bone cutters so the first batch, I used a shot glass and then a fork so they look like peanut butter cookies. The second batch I got lazy and dropped them like chocolate chip cookies and then the fork.

Well, that used up my energy. It is cold here today. Snowed in northern Wisconsin and my neighbor posted that we had corn snow... larger than sleet...it is May 10. I feel like I am in Ouray CO where this was normal even in July sometimes. Which is why I am not there.