Transformations On This Path

[kayc]

Wow, no tickets, that's impressive! I have no idea how many I've had over the years (I used to commute years ago too). Some of them I didn't deserve but there's been some I should have gotten and didn't so I figure it all evens out. None on my record currently!

Anne, am glad you got the GOOD news, and that is! We will celebrate with you when they tell you they don't need to see you for a month but better numbers is something to celebrate too. Think I'll go have a glass of wine. Oh yeah, I have to drive...chocolate? I'd love to see Benji, he's so adorable. Tell him Auntie Kay has some pumpkin dog treats when I see him!

[mfh]

Yes, Anne, I am glad things looked a bit better. Also glad you did not get stopped and get a ticket...you know your perfect record could be broken as you whiz through those lights...yellow included Anne, I would not tattle tale on you..but it was tempting.

I have been stopped maybe 4 times times but no tickets since 1988. I must have said the right things. That is 25 years. I got stopped right after Bill died coming up from Illinois and I burst into tears when he stopped me. That stopped him in his tracks and he let me go.

I am working on getting order. Tomorrow is the final day for the painters. She is done but he is treating the kitchen cabinets tomorrow. Friday Eric installs valances and I hope the blinds in my art room get installed by Saturday...I can not get in there to paint but I am too noisy inside to paint anyway.

Peace and I am glad your report was a bit better

mary

[MartyT]

Sorry, ladies ~ I just couldn't resist . . .

♥

[feralfae]

Oooooohhhh Marty!

That is funny.

Poor man. I'm going to remember that in case I get stopped by an RCMP

fae

[feralfae]

Anne, dear Anne,

Hurray!!!

Any time the numbers are better, even if only by 0.005%, it is a time to smile, celebrate, and dance. And I thank Benji for the nice kisses, too!

Congratulations! You are doing things right! This is just super, and so, I am tossing more fairy dust your way in happy celebration! *****<twinkles>*****

I am so proud of you for not getting a ticket! My last one was not a ticket, just a good bawling out from a RCMP who flagged me down for driving too fast, but then let me go, because he saw that my speedometer is calibrated in LARGE miles and tiny kilometers. Easy to get confused. I now know better.

Today started good, but then got very busy this afternoon, and for the first time in years, I was caught in "rush minute" traffic as all the government workers went home from their jobs. Helena is Montana's capitol city. Rush minute is now rush hour, almost. I dodged three traffic jams, one on the interstate, and took the back, country roads home, not caring that it took longer, because I was out of traffic and in places with cows and horses, like where I live. There are little bunches of green grass, although more snow is due tonight. I saw several new little calves. Two foxes, several golden eagles, merlins, hawks, and one raccoon. It was a nice drive home, and now I know why I schedule my doctor appointments in the morning!

I highly recommend the Tara Brach videos on YouTube. I am going to keep watching and listening to them these next few days. Maybe you have already seen all of them.

*<twinkles>* and Happy Congratulations! Way to go!

fae

[feralfae]

Ha!

I saw a new PT today, and he was astounded that I have come through cauda equina with no appliances, etc. I told him about Doug being with me for the surgery, and that I did not know enough about what was wrong with me to be scared, actually.

We agreed that I have some really helpful Angels.

If he only knew about all you *<Angels >* here, he would be totally impressed!

{{{HUGS}}}
fae

[enna]

I am speechless, Marty.

Thank you for your kind thoughts, fae. Your snow will melt soon. And yes, we do have some pretty amazing humans on this forum.

[mfh]

I love the cop joke, Marty. And that cop did the smart thing...i.e. disappeared. I will have to remember that one when/if I get stopped again. I even got stopped when I was in the convent..in full old fashioned habit. The flying nun has nothing on me. Marty, you are the first one here to render Anne speechless. Wow!! :0

fae I am glad you like your new PT guy...are you going to see him weekly...twice a week?

The weather changed tonight. It was 82 yesterday, 80 today...sunny and warm. Tonight it is cold and will be in the low 40s for the next four days. Short lived spring. Glad I waited on buying plants today.

Got my new cell phone yesterday...it scrolls email and articles by following your eyes...one of many features. If you look away from the phone, it pauses. Spooky. I am such a computer nut. I got it to try but within 15 minutes I decided to keep it. It is larger than my Mezmerize but not by much, thinner, nice cover if you want to use it, but the screen is much larger and once I have to get used to the new software...iso far t is very intuitive...fun stuff! My addiction to tech toys has been fed today. It will also serve as my remote for my hearing aids. My old phone did a so so job of that. This one dances. My friend just stopped by asking me to help her with her new cell phone...but it is different than mine and she is about as ADD as they come, knows it and I can stop her when she asks 10 questions a minute and does not listen to the answers before she pops another question. So I told her to drop the phone off next week so I can study the software and the phone and then we can sit quietly (what a joke) so I can show her how to use it. It is her first smart phone. A challenge for me. But glad to help her...she is a very caring person and for the first 4 or 5 months after Bill died, she called every single morning at 9:30 to see if I was up and ok. She took Bill to doctors sometimes when I needed a break, has had me over for dinner a gazillion times...etc. but learning something new is not something she does easily.

Mary

[feralfae]

Dear Mary,

It is great that you and your ADD friend can trade sharing, love, compassion, and caring with each other.

Nice balance.

I must get to work now, and figure out a whole new algorithm for this project I am working on, which I though was finished, but the client has more questions. Fine. Now there is a new scenario to translate into math. I will enjoy the thinking.

It is 27F here right now, but warming up later today. The daffodils continue to smile.

*<twinkles>*

fae

[mfh]

It works, fae. I really have to be patient when she leaps in with 5 questions all at once....however.

May I ask what this project is that you are doing? I am still confused about what you do. i know you are an artist (potter, painter and more???)

An archeologist, a rock hopper but what is this that you are doing?

[feralfae]

Ah, Mary...

I am a polymath.

I do all those things above, but a lot of my efforts, time, income, and thinking is about mathematics.

I am right now working on a study/research project/forecasting system of marine protein sources and how indigenous peoples food sources are being affected by government-sanctioned corporate harvesting of food stocks in oceans, rivers, and seas.

This concern applies to indigenous peoples all over Earth who rely on migratory fisheries, significant upwellings of nutrients to feed their higher-chain food sources, and other matters related to the use of oceans, both in terms of human harvests and sustaining the health and nutrients in internationally-regulated waters. We live in the USA in a highly industrialized nation, so we are not so adversely affected by the loss of lower chain food nutrients.

Unfortunately, the international regulations are often tipped considerably in favor of the corporations who purchase the politicians and bureaucrats, I am sorry to say. Greed is such a problem for humans, as is the lust for power over others. The loudest voices come from countries with professional lobbyists and politicians. The quieter voices are those of the indigenous peoples of the Earth, who consume far fewer resources, and lack the means to bribe the government and institutional officials who allocate these resources. This is a significant problem for those who live closer to nature and do not own the proper Hugo Boss suits and Gucci shoes.

So, for more than a year now, we have been studying, under commission, the nutrient shifts in waters where large corporations are harvesting lower-level food chain proteins for pet foods, manufactured crab, etc. This is done with government license and approval. This harvesting is slowly but perceptibly affecting the health and reproductive potential of other marine life. It is also affecting adversely the migratory fisheries of native peoples. In many of these same areas, the quality of the waters has been altered by pollution as well. Marine mammals being adversely affected, as well as humans.

Recently, we have begun to examine the overall energy utilization of the corporate approach to marine food stocks harvesting and processing. The energy consumption is significant in terms of kilo of protein brought to market by the corporate harvesters, especially when compared to the energy consumption of indigenous peoples harvesting efforts. Corporations are using oil power to harvest lower food chain foods, and that same power is also contributing to pollution of the nutrient upwelling areas.

This is a study for a private not-for-profit (all our clients are anonymous while we are doing their projects) which focuses on environmental impacts that have adverse consequences for indigenous peoples. These are among the types of projects we did/I do through our NFP. A lot of our work has always been toward the protection of indigenous peoples on Earth.

I am a mathematician who designs algorithms to investigate various questions which have varying factors or vectors. I am also an anthropologist/archaeologist, which helps in this type of research. That is probably way more than you wanted to know.

Or, logician and epistimologist Doug would say, "We are drawing Pivot Tables for our Peers. This time the tables are of fishes. " And he would laugh. He was a also a Common Law scholar of some small celebrity. And an amazing story-maker and teller. I stand in awe and gratitude that we found each other.

*<twinkles>*

fae

[mfh]

Thank you, fae, for explaining. The day I saw Jane Goodall speak, Cousteau's granddaughter also spoke and she spoke about the damage being done to our oceans, rivers, lakes...especially oceans which then affect ultimately all water: the rivers and lakes. Between the junk being dumped into the oceans, the over fishing done everywhere, and more....we are slowly but surely making clean healthy fish something dangerous to eat by all peoples. She showed slides of some indigenous peoples that she spends time with and what is happening to their villages because the rivers running through them run to the sea....of course. Sad...and we, the USA have one of the loudest voices on earth...and the most paid off politicians. I, for one, am grateful people like you do these studies which hopefully will lead to the rest of us changing the ways we live on this planet. If we do not...it will be all over.

Now I have a better idea of what you are about and no it was not more than I wanted to know. Designing algorithms is way out of my league but I am grateful it is not out of yours. Thanks for explaining.

-----

My house stinks...the substance he used on the cabinets smells and gave a major headache. I went to my friends tea house with my iPad and drank tea, ate a salad and played on my iPad until I could not keep my eyes open. I opened the windows before i left and I am home now and it is much better and helped it dry which removed the bulk of the odors. The painters are DONE now....they did a phenomenal job plus and I learned the meaning of my refuge here as well as some patience and gratitude that they did such a good job.

Nap time soon

Mary

[kayc]

I don't even know what it is but I guess if I've lived 60 years w/o it, I can survive in ignorant bliss!

[mfh]

Kay, I assume you are at work. How much damage was done to your car and will insurance cover it.

I was rear ended right after Bill died and thankfully the $8000 bill was covered by the driver at fault's insurance including a rental. I was the first car, one in the middle and the one that came bombing into us...was the responsible party. I was sitting still waiting for a fire truck to pass.

The MUST be the end of this long long long string of bad luck now. Glad you are ok. Are you sure you are? No neck stuff?

Mary

[kayc]

I think the only stiff neck I have is from the stress!

I'm confused about whose ins. is going to pay, one in the middle or back one. One in middle was fishtailing before I was struck so I think both of them were out of control...back one hit guardrail and went sideways before striking middle vehicle. It's a miracle it wasn't a ten car pileup, there was heavy traffic and everything was going nuts back there! I was just trying to mind my own business and slowing to a stop...I could have stopped abruptly but then I would have been rammed harder, so I pulled to the left as much as possible (I was in left lane) and kept traveling, slowly and didn't stop until after he hit me. There wasn't room for me to totally avoid him. Both behind me were going too fast and I don't think they were paying attention to what was going on and that's why they were taken by surprise.

[mfh]

It sounds like they both deserve a ticket but I won't be surprised if only the last one because it sounds like that is the one that actually made the first hit. In my case, I was sitting still because the traffic was backed up for an accident about a block in front of me. The woman behind me was also sitting still in a huge 1980s boat...i.e. big heavy car. The third driver came barreling through the intersection speeding and did not notice (she told us) that the traffic had stopped. She hit the big car behind me so hard it smashed into mine and did 8 grand in damage. The third driver's insurance had to pay. I don't know about that second driver...your insurance company rep should be able to manage this for you. Mine did...

I am just sorry. I am glad no one was hurt...that is cause for celebration.

Mary

[Cakes01]

Anne

Took me long enough, but i found what you posted. I'm glad your numbers weren't worse and i pray that you reach that goal of not having to go back for a month. Hugs to you and Benji

[Wifflesnook]

Fae that isn't more than I wanted to know. I am intrigued by the breadth of your interests. As someone who has always been on the arts side I envy those like you who can straddle both arts and sciences as it makes you a much more rounded individual. My Pete, who was a librarian (Chief Cataloguer at a time when such skills were needed) always prided himself in taking an interest in the sciences though his specialities were languages and history.

[feralfae]

Oh, Jan, how lovely that Pete was a librarian.

Partly because of the Franz Boaz collection, I became good friends with the librarian at the Deering-McCormick special collections library at Northwestern. He also collected very old, movable type screw presses. He had such a knowledge of Knowledge. What resources are our librarians!

I hope your day is going well, dear Jan. I am holding you in my heart as you move through these days so filled with remembering.

*<twinkles>*

fae

[feralfae]

Nattering.

I woke up this morning feeling able to take on the day. I decided to have a good day, even without Doug here to play. I think it will be okay today to be alone.

It is a gray, overcast morning, and I am hoping for rain. Here where I live, as Mary figured out, it is high desert with ponderosa pines, cactus, grasses, a few juniper, which get pretty big up here, and of course sage. Big sage. Ponderosa pine dominates the land. Doug and I decided we were merely visitors in the land of the pines.

If things go well in the studio, which is very cold this morning, so I have already turned on the heat, I will finish the dragonflies today. The studio is designed to be solar, which usually works pretty well, but there is no sun today, so I am hoping the heating system can warm it, because with 12 foot ceilings and a fairly big space, it is not easy to heat on cold, cloudy days, but I am hopeful. When it is cold and cloudy, I generally just skip the studio, because heating it is expensive. But today, I want to get some sorting and packing, and there is a huge stack of things in the studio to sort and pack, of course. It is becoming the staging area for those activities.

Something has shifted again, and I am feeling more peaceful and settled that heretofore. Maybe it is being able to let go of the anger toward the ruffians. Maybe it is simply that I am feeling better physically, At any rate, I am feeling more optimistic about life today, and it feels good. There is a settled acceptance of Doug's departure some of the time now. Mostly, though, I think that it is that the ruffians and their darkness are leaving my heart and psyche, thank goodness. I may do one more session on clearing with the healer.

Here in the yard, things are still looking mostly dormant, except for those two daffodils which are still bravely smiling at the day. This morning, there were three whitetail does in the yard, nibbling up the last of the (organic) chopped carrots and apples I had put out. White tail and mule deer are here every day. I have not seen any elk this year, and have not seen a moose here, although they are down along the Missouri river, just a nice walk from the house. I think it is too dry up here for moose. But the occasional black bear comes through and inspects garbage cans left outside, and I've had at least two mountain lions in the yard. The lions seem to favor the park in town, which is actually a couple of mountains with hiking trails. Deer are a standard traffic nuisance in town as well: I have seen them on the main street downtown. Of course, in Alaska, we routinely have moose in the yard and on the roads. Not bears so much, though.

I hope everyone has a good day. Jan will be walking paths through her field with her family and celebrating a birthday. Mary is at a conference, I think. Anne will be enjoying Arizona and flowers. Kay, take it easy today and do be mindful of your body just in case. Kristen, if you read this, I am glad you are here. To everyone, I hope you have a restful and enjoyable day. Oh, and Hello to Marty, too.

*<twinkles>*

fae

[enna]

Pines are very beautiful, fae, and I so agree with you that we are only visitors in this beautiful land of magnificance. I am continually grateful to be able to witness the beauty of color and uniqueness all around us.

It makes me think of the beauty in each one of us. I love our individuality and I am always in awe at how caring we are to one another.

I am glad that you are letting go of any anger (if it really is anger on your part) when dealing with the 'ruffians'. Life is too beautiful and short for any of us to waste our energy of things that do not life us up. Our physical health has a lot to do with our dispositions, I think. I am trying to use the technique of breathing in and letting go of so many thoughts and feelings. It does work and maybe someday I just might be able to 'sit still' and be in the moment! It's a goal.

As you paint and write, fae, I write and play the piano and marvel at beautiful colors in nature. Oh yes, Benji is a part of my soul now.

I am finally reading with understanding now. Something that I wasn't able to do early on in my grief. I try to mix my reading so I'm not reading only one genre. Two books I'm reading right now are A Dog's Purpose and The Language of Flowers. Most all the others focus on grief or dogs!

Enjoy your weekend. Anne

[feralfae]

Dear Anne,

Thank you.

I hope you are enjoying this weekend as well.

I think you are on to something: this is less my anger and fear than what I have allowed in from others. I am not usually an angry or fearful person, actually.

I am smiling at sitting still. I was watching a Tara Brach video on YouTube, and she tells of a necklace, shaped like a dog's bone, which has engraved on it, "Sit. Stay. Heal." and I thought that all the dogs I am knowing here deserve one of these for the healing they give to their families. Benji is truly a blessing to you, as you are to him. Does he have music preferences when you play the piano? My aunt's corgis are totally in to Bach, Mozart, and Joplin, but leave the room if someone is playing the Russian Romantics. They are very funny to watch, because they will be Under the piano for Bach, but out the door for Rimsky-Korsikov

I know what you mean about reading with understanding. My great solace was that I went back and read Madeline L'Engle's books for children, and even read some McDonald fairytales. I could not watch videos in the room where Doug would rest and "watch movies when he could not move", as he would say with a wry smile.

But I read all those wonderful children's stories, and some of them two or three times, to lose myself somewhere, and to find comfort and solace in values and situations that were a bit familiar to my own life and childhood. It was a superb comfort, and I could follow the stories, too.

Thank you, I am enjoying this day, although the studio did not warm up enough to use paints. Instead, I am sorting things a bit, and reading a lot, and working outside in the cold, cold gardens.

It is good to have a day of simply settling in to peace, actually.

*<twinkles>*

fae

[mfh]

fae, I am not at a conference. Just home today recovering from my month of chaos. My body is pretty inflamed today...so I watched the kids who cleaned up the flower beds today and moved stones for me and took Bentley for a walk and had a VERY long nap..woke up not even knowing what day it was...really slept soundly. The month of chaos has taken its toll physically and emotionally so am laying low for a couple of days. Conference is in June..early like June 2 or close to that..for 3 days. Chicago is Wednesday for eye doc so I will keep a low profile until then. I find over these 3 years that following a time of distraction due to a project, trip, being too busy...all the feelings that I ignored rear their head...so today I am calming them down after they have risen from the deep sea.

I do love children's stories. Here are some I like: Velveteen Rabbit, The Giving Tree, Old Turtle, Winnie the Poof, The Tao of Pooh (adults) off the top of my head. I have a collection. Oh, Hope for the Flowers...a real gem.

Take care

Mary

[Cakes01]

Mary,

I'm sorry things have hit you all at once i hope you are resting and enjoying those books. I loved the Velveteen Rabbit! My grandfather gave me a copy when i was 10 or 11. The cover had velvet on it and the pictures were all glossy, but it was the story i loved reading. It's a great idea reading books that bring you back to a place that makes you happy-watching movies too. Big hugs to you.

[feralfae]

Dear Mary,

I am truly happy that you are not at a conference. I was a little worried about your energy levels with all that was going on at the house, and then taking off for a conference. Your life seems very complicated to this simple Montana mathematician. And my memory is not as organized as it could be: I need to start a calendar for this Tribe of ours here, so I can keep up with everything going on with people. Or just be waving bon voyage to people who are actually coming rather than going. J

I am glad you are having a quite time, or at least more peaceful. I often find these days that if I let myself stop to rest, I almost collapse. My body and heart still need more recovery time, obviously. I feel rather behind on things, but I also know that I need to let all this healing progress at its own pace.

Thank you for the reading list. I have read some of those books, but I think it would be good to have them all in the library for the little ones who come to visit occasionally: most of the books for the Godchildren are for those at least 12 or so. And I gave the boys the Great Books for Christmas a couple of years ago. They are all avid readers.

I came here to make a looooong post about a healing exercise I learned last evening from a friend, and so I am going to see if I can make it into a coherent communication and post it here.

Much Love, resting one and I hope you keep resting as much as you find time to do so for a few days.

<twinkles>

fae