mfh Posted July 18, 2014 Report Share Posted July 18, 2014 Karen, I am holding you and Debbie and your family in my heart as you walk through these very difficult days and nights. Please know we are all here with you and many of us know how hard it is to see her in pain and to struggle and feel so helpless. I send you my love and am praying for you, Debbie and your family. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 18, 2014 Report Share Posted July 18, 2014 Our heartfelt gratitude to Anne for being our faithful messenger during this vigil ~ Holding Karen and Debbie close in our hearts, lifting them in prayer as we send them love and light . . . ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted July 18, 2014 Report Share Posted July 18, 2014 Dear Karen, I am walking this path with you. Besides keeping the pain meds going so that Debbie is comfortable, I think the only other thing you can do is offer loving reassurance that this is merely a door, a different path, and that the love goes on and on. I am very sorry you are on this journey with Debbie, but also very grateful for everyone there that you are all together. This is a difficult time, but also, in another way, a beautiful time. You are holding her spirit in the Light, and surrounding her with your love and presence. I know that means more to Debbie than anything, and I know that it also means more to you than you can now imagine. And although Debbie may be hallucinating, she may also be holding discussions with the angels. I have come to take such things seriously after being with Doug those last days and hours. I know your reassurances of your continuing love, your comfort for her as she moves through this time of shifting of her spirit, and your presence to help her will also sustain and comfort you as you hold on to the memories of the love that surrounds you and holds you both in Love. I wish I had better words for what I want to say to you, dear Karen. But although this is a painful and terrible time, it is also a time of great beauty, when we are given the gift of being present for a part of the greatest mystery. Nothing stops love. Nothing destroys love. Nothing overcomes love. As long as you can stay centered in your love for Debbie, everything will be all right. I wish I could give you some big, warm, long hugs. Maybe you need to ask Debbie if there is anything she needs to tell you, and listen with your heart as well as your ears. Some of Doug's last words to me are the most precious, and I will always hold them in my heart. I am sending love, hugs, and more love to you through this time. I hope the love you share can sustain you through each moment. Much Love, fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 18, 2014 Report Share Posted July 18, 2014 fae, I felt that too when I went through with it with my MIL, LeNore, she was the mom I always wanted and my best friend. While it was hard knowing she wasn't going to be here for me to call and see, it was a very precious time, ushering her into what was next for her, and I know we will be together again. I am sure that you, Karen, also feel this poignancy, even while you are facing the daunting realization of her leaving. They never truly leave us. As JeL said, it is a transition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted July 18, 2014 Report Share Posted July 18, 2014 I do so hopes that Karen gets to read these wise words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 22, 2014 Report Share Posted July 22, 2014 I'm not sure where to post this, I don't want to put it on another's thread and it certainly isn't a "positive", so I figure "talking" fits it best. I had a very difficult day yesterday. I had a doctor's appt. and in it learned my uric acid and white blood cells are elevated and unsurprisingly, my blood sugar and triglycerides...the triglycerides always are, just genetic, the blood sugar is something I've struggled with lately and have concluded it's stress related not what I'm eating, but at any rate the doctor wants to add another medicine, very low dose, and I'll have to continue to closely monitor my levels. The white blood cells she feels is a result of my having been sick five days before. The uric acid she says is genetic, because gout runs in both sides of the family, and she said to cut back on meat...but I hardly eat meat, rarely buy it! I went to see my mom and she is way worse than a week ago, has really gone downhill, in very bad shape. She isn't eating at all and I asked them if they're giving her Ensure and they said they're giving her chocolate milkshakes. I looked at the ingredients, high fructose corn syrup, milk, etc., no nutrition, just sugars, and she's diabetic! I told them to get her some Ensure that I do NOT want her starving to death, it's a hell of a painful way to go! She kept saying she wanted to die, that she has nothing left, no friends, her kids have abandoned her, etc. I told her I'm her kid and I'm here, and to hang in there, God will come for her soon and make everything right. I also told her Daddy loves her and is waiting for her in heaven. She's lost almost everything she knew and believed, doesn't remember so much. She again asked about her mom (whom she always seemed to hate) and wondered why she wasn't there and I again told her she'd been gone for years...she surprised me by saying she loved her mom. I've never heard her say that in her entire life. The way she said it, there was a hesitation, so I know she knew there was something not good about their relationship, but still, to here her say she loved her, that amazed me. My mom looks worse than I have ever seen her, even just a week ago she looked cute, I can't explain it but it's like she aged 40 years in a week. I made the decision to get my eyes tested yesterday, it's been nearly 1 1/2 years since my horrible experience with Rainbow Optics. The doctor told me the stigmatizm and the prisms are opposite of what they should be and there's very little correction in my left lens, and there is nothing in there bringing my lazy eye in, even though I paid for it to be. he also said there isn't enough height in my lens to accommodate reading Rx, so I need new frames. I am hoping and praying that the ensuing glasses will give me good vision. He said the left one will not be perfect because of my cataracts, so evidently it must be worse than the right cataract, something the eye doctor I went to last month did not indicate. When I got home, I decided to take Arlie to play with the neighbor's dog since he'd been penned up all day. I let him loose in his yard, and when I was closing the gate, I was converged on by hundreds of wasps at my feet. I had a very difficult time closing the gate and knew if I did not, Arlie would make a beeline for it and get stung, so I persisted until I got it closed. I have tons of stings on top of, below, and in between my toes, as well as some on my tendons that already hurt and my legs. My toes swelled up, and I had a hard time hobbling across the long lawn/driveway, to get help. I iced them for about an hour, then my neighbor drove me and Arlie home. Turns out, he was stung twice last week yet did not investigate or spray them, had he done so, this would not have happened. Apparently they have a nest in the gate so that if you open or close it, they come out to protect their own. I spent my evening into the wee hours with baking soda paste wraps, and then cold water baths for my feet, and took antihistamine and Ibuprofen. They are very painful and swollen still, and I don't know how long it will be like this, but I have to drive my sister to town Friday and am concerned about that, it's hard enough without this. I know that in and of itself, this is nothing, but it's this daily stuff that life is made of and sometimes it's a real nuisance to deal with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 22, 2014 Report Share Posted July 22, 2014 Kay, my dear, if this is NOTHING then I don't know what you'd consider to be SOMETHING. I am so sorry to learn of your terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day ~ and please know that you have every right to complain to the Heavens about it. I rarely if ever see you complain about anything, and you are way overdue for a good old legitimate rant. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers, and again, I am so sorry this day was so awful for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted July 22, 2014 Report Share Posted July 22, 2014 Kay, I hope the stings are feeling a lot better and that the swelling is going down. I agree with Marty—that was an entirely crummy day! I hope today is better, and that the health problems can be easily resolved. I think it is stress, too. I hope you can find ways to make life a little less complicated and easier today. *<twinkles>* fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 22, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 22, 2014 Oh Kay, what a terrible, horrible day you had. Are the wasp stings easing up? I hope they are gone away by Friday so you can be with your sister without pain. Our health can be a problem and I hope you find all the right combinations of meds. to help you. Quite frankly, with all the events in your life over the months, I am not surprised that you are stressed. I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I can only imagine the confusion you feel when you see her week after week as she changes. You sure have been on a journey with your eyes. I remember you talking about your “horrible experience” with Rainbow Optics. Eyesight is such a precious gift. Are your cataracts ripe enough for surgery? Sometimes doctors have us wait too long before they take care of cataracts. My eye doctor said I have the beginnings of cataracts but that I’ll know when they should be taken care of myself. My hope for you today is that the sun shines down on you and the weather cools and you have no pain from those wasp stings. Wishing you NO earthquakes... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted July 22, 2014 Report Share Posted July 22, 2014 Karen, thinking of you and Debbie so very much, just know you are in my prayers, and in my heart. I know how hard this is for you, but I am so grateful that things worked out for you to be with her at this time. Big Hugs. Kay, bless your heart, wasps scare me to death! Your neighbor could have at least warned you! Hope you are much better today. Sorry about your medical issues, hope they can be controlled easily with your meds. I know how hard it must be on you, to see your Mom like this. How could they possibly think a milk shake had the nutrients that Ensure has???? Hoping by tomorrow the swelling from the wasp stings are much reduced, and you are feeling better. Good luck with the new glasses, fingers crossed!! QMary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 22, 2014 Report Share Posted July 22, 2014 Thank you all for your moral support. Marty, "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" has always been one of my favorites. Shortly after George died, I remember my daughter and I going to see a play of it at the U of O campus, it was a good day in a sea of sadness. Yes, I guess you could say this was a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. My feet are swollen and painful...I am dreading the itching stage. Am going to go sit down and have another foot soak, that seems to help. I was up to 2 am this morning treating them, I may take a nap this afternoon. Can barely hobble! I do with we could hear from Karen, she is in my heart and I wonder how Debbie is today. Anne, if you hear anything, please let us know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wifflesnook Posted July 22, 2014 Report Share Posted July 22, 2014 Oh Kay. Poor poor you. I'm so sorry you had such an awful time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 23, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 23, 2014 I did receive an E-mail from Karen today. Her Debbie is failing quickly. She is not able to get up anymore and is eating very little. Most of the time Debbie is incoherent and does not recognize anyone. The Hospice Team is there and is guiding the family through this process of dying. Karen is feeling the full brunt of losing a child. I have not lost a child so I cannot imagine how excruciatingly painful it must be for her. Deb’s husband moved the horses up to the front yard so she can see them. It seems to give her some peace. Please continue to keep Karen and her family in your prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 23, 2014 Report Share Posted July 23, 2014 Thank you, Anne. Dear Karen, Please know you and Debbie and your entire family are in my heart and thoughts and prayers as you walk through yet another huge loss. I can not imagine your pain at losing your daughter. You are loved and your are not alone. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 23, 2014 Report Share Posted July 23, 2014 Dear Kay, Your day sounds just horrible...pulling you in so many directions from knowing your mom's condition has worsened, to all those stings and so much more. I think venting here is exactly what you should do and may need to do a couple more times. I hope you can just stay home and put those feet up. That many stings is not to be taken lightly. Do take care of yourself. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 23, 2014 Report Share Posted July 23, 2014 Anne wrote: I did receive an E-mail from Karen today. Her Debbie is failing quickly. She is not able to get up anymore and is eating very little. Most of the time Debbie is incoherent and does not recognize anyone. The Hospice Team is there and is guiding the family through this process of dying. Karen is feeling the full brunt of losing a child . . . Please continue to keep Karen and her family in your prayers. To our dear Karen: May the love in our hearts be carried directly to you, and may your precious daughter Debbie be held in the light of this love. May your family feel the love that everywhere surrounds you, as we hold you in our hearts, lift you up in prayer, and wish you peace. ♥ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted July 23, 2014 Report Share Posted July 23, 2014 Amen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeL Posted July 23, 2014 Report Share Posted July 23, 2014 Karen...you, Debbie and your special ones are in my thoughts today and as you make this transition...Jo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 23, 2014 Report Share Posted July 23, 2014 Karen, You're in my prayers continually. I know this is one of the hardest times of your life and we all want to surround you with our virtual arms and love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queeniemary Posted July 24, 2014 Report Share Posted July 24, 2014 Karen, praying for you and Debbie as you travel through this time. I know this is hard, only wish knew what to say to help. Just know you are loved, and being held in our hearts and thoughts. QMary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
feralfae Posted July 24, 2014 Report Share Posted July 24, 2014 Karen, I am thinking of you and Debbie and keeping you in prayer. Please feel the love we are all sending, and know that we are with you, dear Karen. namaste, fae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 25, 2014 Report Share Posted July 25, 2014 I had a very rough day yesterday, I will post more about it in the anticipatory section. My doctor was out Wednesday, I tried to get in Thursday but she was double booked. I called back again and asked about her Friday schedule and they said it's booked up and I should go to urgent care. I called my insurance to ask where to go and they told me Riverbend Hospital. I sat there for hours, meanwhile, my toes are getting worse. I had red streaks coming from them and a couple of the toes were red/purple around them. When they finally saw me they said they have blood poisoning and infection from the venum (wasps bites). I think I got close to 100 bites, but no way to know how many for sure. They said I'd done all the right things but there was just too much venom in my system to tackle it by myself. I am ordered to bedrest the next few days and must keep my feet elevated. I got home at 8:20 pm. They did give me permission to give Arlie two short walks a day and prepare my meals, go to the bathroom, that's it. I'm on for driving my sister to town today but told her I can only do lunch and if she shops I will stay in the car and prop my feet up and I want it to be a very short day. I cannot help her with her walker, etc., she'll have to fend for herself. My other sister is having her husband drive her down so perhaps he can help her...that sister can only see four hours a day (long story) and will want our time together to be short also. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mfh Posted July 25, 2014 Report Share Posted July 25, 2014 Kay, I am so sorry about this. I was really worried that this might happen. I do wish you would NOT take your sister shopping. Driving with your foot down and leg bent is not good for that foot. Do reconsider this. I am just so sorry this happened. I hope those wasps have been dealt with so it does not happen again. Please take care of yourself. Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 25, 2014 Report Share Posted July 25, 2014 Dear Kay, I can only echo what Mary has said already. This is serious, and we are worried about you. Please put your own needs first this time, ahead of your sister's need to be taken shopping . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted July 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2014 Kay, I am so sorry that you are going through all this pain. Please do what is best for you these next days. I heard from Karen today. The family is holding on and appreciates all prayers. Karen wanted me to give you this message: "Please tell everyone I am thinking of them & appreciate their constant support & prayers." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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