loulou

Butterfly...hmm,when I was in high school,and living with my dad,(that was the closest we ever were),my favorite thing was butterflies.Any-hoo,I'm really feeling better about my the whole life-after death.That's so cool,that he said he was holding a b-day cake!I can see it in my head.My b-day was about 2 weeks after dad passed,and it sucked!Then my dad's b-day was a week later.I'm dreading father's day.I really hope he sees how much I miss him.I never got to tell him all the things I wish I did.He ment so much to me,and I'm not sure I made it clear.I just wanted to thank you for being so strong on you beliefs,it has helped me.I needed some help in that department.I'm off to read some of those post Marty put up...take care honey.I'm all ears if you ever need to talk.

Ok.This is unbelievably close to my story.My dad died in Jan.of a massive heart attack.He was 49 years young.He was at a side job,shoveling snow.He all of a sudden not feeling well,so went to sit in his car,until my cousin came to drive him home.When she got there he was already gone.The paramedics came and tried to revive him all the way to the hospital,where he was pronounced dead.I got the call,and drove to the hospital fast as I could,just to give a positive id.it was awful. Im glad you and your stepmom,have each other.My dad's girlfriend dosn't seem to be upset by it.She cried maybe once,that I have seen.It makes me sad,because he loved her alot.My dad also had two very young kids,1yrs old,and 8 yrs old,and my heart breaks for them.I also lost about 15 pounds in 2 months after dad passed.I was on anti-anxiety medicine,and sleeping pills,too.I have had to stop taking them because by some freak incident I turned up pregnant last month.It was hard for me to let them go,cause they helped me so much.My fiance was so great after my dad passed,and he still tries,but 5 months later,and I think people expect me to be moving on,but I cant.I miss my dad so very much.My dad was like your dad...a zest for life,happy,always being funny...so full of life.It's a very hard road dear,and I feel so bad for you,having to endure this.This site will help.Please keep posting,and I'm so sorry for your loss.

I have only read the FIRST post,Marty,and I have goosebumps all over my arms!I had that same thing happen as Kat,with the songs.I feel better already.

Wow Marty!I needed this:).I wasnt sure if people discussed this alot,because it touches on personal belief,but I'm so glad they do!It's a topic I'v been obsessed with for months. butterfly-How exciting!It really gives me hope.I'm honestly not sure why I question this,when I have been having episodes my entire life.I never questioned it before dad died....He did come to me in 1 dream,shortly after,but he didnt speak to me.He just looked really sad.(but healthy,no wrinkles)I have had songs sent to me,I think from him.And a crazy incident where my brothers girlfriend and I were driving,and talking of my dad,and crying,and the hazard lights kept coming on.We would turn them off,and they would come on again.It hasnt happened since.I guess,short of seeing him in front of me,I will always want more.The feelings and incidents have since tapered down to nothing.I dont know what that means.But I'm gonna once again start reading everything on the after life that I can get my hands on.I love to read too.I'm always reading something,sometimes 2 or 3 books at a time.It really does help to think they can still hear us and see us.I miss him so much.Thank you for sharing with me.I think maybe it was our fate to bump into each other here,so you could help me with my doubts.You never know!Cant wait to hear from you,-lila

Hi Ben,I'm sorry to welcome you,but whoever pointed you to this forum was right.You will find people who are kind and caring here.We care about each other,and this has helped me more than anything else.I just want to say sorry for all the pain you have been put through.i cant imagine all of that trauma,and you are strong.There is no way you are not.You took care of your mother,after the suicide of your brother.You did so much for her just by being there.Those 2 passings alone would be enough to destroy anyone.I'm glad you didnt finish that night,with the pills,but I do understand.I have had clinical depression since I was diagnosed at 12.I also understand having no one to grieve with.My mom hated my dad,and my brother refuses to talk about it.I have friends who cant express their grief,and I dont know how to help with that.I'm sorry about your wife,too.Its very hard dealing with peoplewho dont understand.I hope this site helps you release some of your pain.You can grieve with us.-lila

butterfly-I would be lying if I said I hadnt had strange things happen to me alot over the years.I had some little things happen after my dad died,that made me feel like he was around,but lately nothing.(my cat has been doing that,too)I have had unexplained things happen through out my life,I guess now I just want hard-core proof when it comes to dad.You had a reading with a medium!?!I have wanted to ask someone who had a reading how it was,so-how was it?:blush:Who did you see?Im seeing allison dubois in august.I feel like it was ment to be.It all came together shortly after dad died,and seemed like a path I was supposed to take.I also hope Niamh's daddy has a message for her,because she deserves it.I would love to hear about your reading,because I'm so excited for mine,and have been waiting for a long time.please,do tell...

Thanks Marty!I will be rolling up my sleeves,and diving into these,and I cant wait.It seems it would be so comforting to actually believe 100%.I always believe in other peoples accounts of stuff like this.It helps,and I need something solid right now.

Niamh,I didnt think too much about it,but time is going slow for me also.The days are disgustingly long.By noon everyday I'm like,isnt it bedtime?Although,for me,the 5 months since dad died seems so long,too.I feel like that happened a lifetime ago.I wish time would speed up,but I dont know what for.-blah!

Donny,welcome to the site.I cant help much,but I want to say that people are so rude and uncaring,I dont know where they get off.I know how hard it is to lose a father,or father figure,and I have been having trouble with other"sides"of the family since it happened,if not before.I can understand being angry for your moms sake.Through the loss of my father I have started to see people in a diffrent way.I guess all you can do is be there for your mom,be good to yourself,and try to stay away from toxic people.Thats what Im gonna try to do for myself.Good luck to you.

Sharla,I too will be thinking of you and your dad all day.I'm so sorry for you and your family,and your poor,sweet dad.I hope it all goes well today,and you are so strong for being there for him.luck and love sent your way.

Butterfly,I have a question for you....You seem so solid on life after death.Is it faith that makes you believe?I(like some of my dear friends here) want so badly to believe in it.I always have,but when dad died I didnt have signs of my dad around.I understand Im emotionaly blocked with grief.I have been reading,and researching,and I go strongly back and forth.I even will be seeing a famous medium in 2 months.(CAN NOT WAIT).I guess I just wanted to hear your thoughts,since you seem so sure.I want to have a solid belief,and an understanding of life/death.-lou

Shelly,your simple,honest post,made me cry even harded today.My 5 months of the loss of my dad is today,and my heart is so sad.I want him back.I want him to hug me,and make me laugh,like he always did.I'm heartbroken still.I'm so sorry for you missin your mama.Hopefully they are hugging us,and we just dont know it.I'm alone,too,as no one misses or talks of him....I miss you dad,so,so very much,I love you...

welcome,and Im so sorry for your loss.I too lost my dad (bestfriend)in Jan.I miss him everyday.I still cry everyday,and know what your feeling.Your story is heart-breaking.My dad passed suddenly,2 hours after I had just talked to him.When I was reading your post I thought of how sad that they put him to sleep,and you thought he was gonna awake,just for him not to.I cant imagine how that felt.I just wanted to say I was sorry,and that hopefully being here will help,like it has helped us.Try to take care of yourself.

daughter,Im sorry for your pain,but I do understand.I miss mine too,so much.I cant really get used to it.Everyday I at least have a moment where I think,hey I should call dad.I cant get my head to except it.I think I see my dad all the time,and its heartbreaking.I'm coming up on 5 months,and still dont understand how people move on after something like this.I also feel so weak,because I think Im the only one having a hard time.And about being mad when you see older people,ha,I know about THAT.I get mad at people I work with,because alot of these people are alot older than me,and havnt lost a parent.My dad was still in his 40s,and Im pretty young.Its not fair that many of these people I work with are my dad's age,and they havnt lost a parent.Oh and I love that they try to tell me to cheer up,and say all these other things that kinda p*ss me off,when they have no idea how I feel....I just miss my dad,I want him back.my life will never be the same without him,and right now,no one else seems good enough.I need him,he was my bestfriend.

I have nothing to say that will help.I just wanted to say that you sound like a caring,wonderful person,and my heart absolutely breaks in half for him.Poor soul.God bless you for looking after him.

Lab..I'm also so sorry for your loss.I just lost my dad suddenly on NewYears.I'm devastated,heartbroken,and so so lost.I want to say that you have done so many good things since you lost your dad.You made it through highschool,and went on to collage.I'm sure your dad is so proud of you.That takes alot of strength,and you should be proud of yourself too.I also understand your "shutting down".I have done that,too.I have lost my friends,even family.You should not be hard on yourself,because you are in pain.Let yourself grieve for him at your own pace.I think thats the only way to heal.(If we ever heal from this).Your father does live inside you,and I have no doubt you are a beautiful,caring,strong,very intelligent,person.I know this is hard,I hope you keep coming to this site.It really does help to talk to people who are feeling the same way.Not alot of people in my life have lost someone they love,so its easy to feel alone.I feel bitter,too,that so many still have their parents.My dad was only 49 when he died.Its not fair,honey.I know your pain.You were very young to loose him.keep us posted on how you are,-lou

shelly,Im so sorry for this conflict you are having.Family is so hard to deal with.I know this first hand.I too, need to do something with my dad's ashes.My dad's girlfriend has them,but dosnt want them.(nice,right?)She had someone put them away in a closet.A CLOSET!Im gonna get them,I just havnt wanted to see her.My dad wanted his ashes spread over his favorite football team's field.That will be funny...throwing ashes like a criminal:wacko:My dad would be laughing so hard at us.I,though,have some other things I want to do.i would like to spread some on my grandparents graves,(so they can be together)I would also like to have some in my home.Do you think it's weird to split them up?They also have on line where you can send some ashes in and they crystalize them and make it a ring,or whatever.I would love that.The rest of the family dosnt even want them,so I guess I'm lucky I wont have to fight with them.It makes me sad though...nobody else wants his remains.Goodluck Shelly,I hope you can get your closure soon.

the first few months after dad died I was a WRECK.I have 2 little ones,and I did have the hardest time dealing with them all day alone everyday.I wish someone would have helped me more.My mom and fiance made some comments about me being "fit" to care for them.I felt like "f*ck you...how about some help!"Coming up on 5 months now,and I'm better with the kids.I think I got used to the grief more.I dont know.I understand the concern,and I feel bad for your sister.It's hard.You do sound like a good sister,and she is lucky to have you.

I dont have any advice on Hospice,my dad and grandpa passed quickly.However my grandma passed of cancer.My father moved in and took care of her until it was the very end,and then she had maybe 2 days in the hospital.I have always thought that my dad did the most selfless and stand up thing by being there for his mother.I know it was extremely hard on him,but he was there.And I KNOW it helped him after she died to know he was there for her when it mattered the most.My aunt is a nurse for gosh sakes!She didnt really help him...I agree with you 100%,she should be at home where she will be the most comfortable.Why would anyone argue with what she wants?I'm a pretty stubborn girl so I may be saying the wrong thing,but I think you should stick to your beliefs,and go head to head with your siblings for your own piece of mind,and your dear mothers.Good luck to you,and I'm so sorry for your situation.

2 sweetgirls,Im sorry for you 6 months.Its so hard to face it,but my 5 months is in a week.It seems like no time has went by.But it seems like a lifetime since I heard my father's sweet voice.My heart breaks for all of us children left behind(and spouses,siblings,and friends,children).I never would have imagined it to be this hard....

I understand this,too.I get flashbacks all the time,over every little thing.Indiana Jones was on tv not too long ago,and I thought of my dad.When it rains I think of him.When I drive past the hospital,I think of him.Songs on the radio,the river we fished in.29 years of memories and I cant get away.Something happens to me that I dont hear people talk about,but I think I see my dad everywhere.Driving in cars,walking down the street,shopping.Of course they are never him,but people always resemble him.It sends me into fits.It's heartwrenching.Good luck to both of you sweethearts-xoxo

you are not alone!I'm right here with you.still having every relationship I have has crumbled.My fiance and I are so close to splitting its scary.My children drive me nuts.My friends are not really friends anymore.I'm so angry inside,that it just bubbles up and over,like a volcano.I'm stuck in this place inside my head and I feel like there is no answer or hope at all.My fiance keeps blaming our problems on me,but that makes me want to be alone.I'm HURTING and no one gives a crap.I dont know if life can keep going on this way.I just dont know what to do anymore....

Go right ahead and scream.I kinda know how you feel.My dad died suddenly on newyears.Within 1 month I had his funeral,my birthday,then his birthday.It felt like tidal waves.Now I'm dreading fathers day....And I too wish it would start getting better.

Christine,that was beautiful.I'm sorry for your pain.For all of our pain.I'm having a hard time posting right now.I read and feel for every single post.My thoughts are with you,and all the people here.

I'm sorry for your pain Gamer,(the guys in my family are 'gamers' too!)I miss my grandma too.She died years ago from cancer,but I still miss her.Now her son(Daddy)passed on and all I can do is hope they are together again.Along with Grandpa,who I also love and miss dearly.To have that huge part of my family and life gone is strange.It feels like I lost me,if that makes any sense.Its lonely.I just wanted to tell you Im sorry.