loulou

Ron,thank you for responding to this post.I wasnt sure anyone would know what to say.I like the fact that you showed me what selfish and heartless people do to their selfs.It is true,hopefully,that what goes around comes around.I would think I would be mad enough to spit nails at her,but instead I feel this tired resignation.I feel so sad that not only his bestfriend,who is like a uncle to me,would do this,but the women he literally gave his life to,could move on after 2 small months.I wish the anger would kick in because it feels better than this blah state I have been in for the last week.Thank you again Ron,you helped me just by letting me know there are betrayals,that it wasnt just my dad,but that people everywhere deal with these kind of things.It's hard for us 'good' people to understand how people could treat others so thoughtlessly.

Joe,I won't pretend that I'm in a position to give advice,but I do want you to know that you are not alone in the way you feel.I felt compelled to be around all the people that my father was closest to at the time of his unexpected death.I also pushed away alot of the people that I was closest to.I'm still struggling with that.It has been a little over 2 months.Also I'm sure you are a huge comfort to his kids.[my dad was 49 also].So I can say that just being around you helps them feel closer as well.There is nothing closer to him then his brother!I was obsessed with being around my brother because he is alot like my dad and I wanted to cling to him.About your wife,that is where I don't know what to say,because I'm doing the same with people that love me.I will be curious what other posters have to say because I feel that Im behaving oddly when it comes to relationships.But you should spend time with your family if you need to,your wife may not understand,but like you said,she wasnt around alot at his end,and that is a traumatic experiance,and they went through it with you,so do what helps you.I dont see anything wrong with being close to them.

I have actually wrote on your post,I cant remeber my log in name,so now instead of Bell Im lou lou...Thats what my dad called me,Loulou Bell.We are in the very same boat,the 2 of us.I don't know how many girls were "bestfriends" with there fathers,but I feel lucky for such a great dad,but it makes it hurt so much more cause I know It's over.Me and him would chat for hours on the phone everyday,and now I feel so alone.I wonder if its normal to start picking people apart and seeing the negative in the people closest to me.I too want to KNOW that he is around.I look for every sign I can.[even reaching]but in all honesty I don't feel him at all.I even bought exspensive tickets to go see a famous medium this summer.The only thing that helps is believing he is happy and still around.When you say you feel stunned,I think Im entering that phase.My emotions are hard to grasp,I feel numb...and then boom,I'm sobbing for hours.I don't know about your family,but in mine I feel like I'm the only one having a hard time.I dont know why,he was amazing,a truly beautiful person.He deserved so much more....thank you for sharing with me.Daddys girls forever!

Hi there,I'm having trouble with a situation,and decided to throw it out there since the only help I get is from this site.I will keep this as simple as I can.Most of you know that my bestfriend and dad died on Jan.1st.HE was 49 and had a girlfriend of 12 years,that was considerably younger than him.They have 2 children,a 1year old and a 8 year old [same age as my children].For the week after he died his girlfriend and I seemed close.Since then she has started ignoring me,wont return my calls,wont let my sister call me,she has been going to the bars and lying to me about her kids being in bed when they arnt even home,and now above all else has been spending alot of alone time with my dad's bestfriend.My brother and I are convinced they are "getting together",and I'm so hurt and mad,I wont even say what I want to do to her.I have started to tell myself there are no coincidences and at my dads funeral there was 1 open seat in the front row with the family and a strong urge came over me right before the sermon started to go grab my dad's bestfriend and sit him with the family.[i did].Now I'm confused,and don't know how to deal.I feel like they didn't even love him.[He loved her so much and was so good to her].He died in the snow working a side job for HER,she refused to work.Now she will be living off my dead fathers social security,and I'm left with nothing but a hole in my soul.What should I do?Any advice or words would help. Loulou

I want to share this.My father died 2 months ago,and since we were constantly chatting on the phone,and my dad never failed to leave a message on my voice mail[something I used to make fun of him about]I had 3 messages from the day he unexpectedly died.I would listen to them everyday and cry and cry.I called the cell phone company and was assured that as long as I kept saving them they would stay for as long as I had my phone.Feb.3rd,I woke up,dialed my voice mail and the messages were GONE.The girl I talked to didnt know what she was talking about.The messages always delete after 30 days,Thats what the phone company told me.I called them flipping out.If I could have kept them forever I would have.My brother got a new phone and wanted to put 'pops'# in it,but felt silly.I told him to keep dads # in there.It keeps him close.Like he is still there,not gone,wich is so hard to except.

I have been questioning my faith ever since my dad died.My mom is very religious,and raised me to be,but after my dad died,my beliefs and faith has been changing.I want to believe that dying and death is a beautiful and comforting thing.My father was not religious, and I can't keep believing in a faith where people who were not "close to god"burn in eternal hell.He was a giving and caring man.He had the most loving heart,more so then most of the religious people I know.My mother says that any signs of the afterlife or sense of it is evil.I know longer listen to her anymore.I believe in god,but for the rest...I will find my own truth.One that makes sense and feels right to me.

bflyrn...I have had only 1 dream of my father and it did not give me peace.I don't understand why I don't dream of him.He is always on my mind.He is all I think about,so why would I not dream of him?I'm glad to hear you took 3 weeks off.I took a week and a half off and cried all during work for the first few weeks.I should'v took more time off,but I felt like I was taking it so hard,and that since I'm 29 I should be stronger.Silly me,I should have gave myself more slack.I wish now that I did.I couldn't handle being a nurse...being around the sick and disabled,or just having to face a hospital,wich I'm still scared to face even after a few months.you sound very strong.

You don't have to have a reason to post.It really helps to just release your story.I'm so sorry about your dad!That is a heartbreaking story.My dad was also my bestfriend,also he died of a heart attack on Jan 1st.I also have issue's with his health care and the behavior of the hospital staff.My dad had been put off by his dr. for months.He made appt. and they would push it back.He was at that office a few times and they would send him home without seeing the dr.and tell him to come back the following week.Needless to say he died 4 days before his appt.And his DR. had to sign his death certificate,then called 3 days later to confirm his appt.!Thanks for nothing.I also think my dad knew in some way he was to go,or he wouldnt have been trying to see his Dr. so insistently.It breaks my heart...it really aches for him.I know how you feel about work.I also want to quit because I just cant deal with people,and I work with the public.No one really understands me,except maybe the people on this sight.I'm comforted to know that there are people that are still hurting for their parents even years later.People who havnt lost someone they love just make me feel bad for still being out of my mind.Most days I would prefer a dark hole to hide in then face reality.Hang in there honey...It has to get better sometime.It helps to think that they are happy,pain free and stress free now.Maybe their only worry now is for us.I wanna hug my dad.I wanna hear his voice.I know you want that,too.I will pray for you.

Everyone always says,"they are with you.They show you signs"I have been asking and waiting for a sign from my dad.It has only been 2 months,but I'm very open to signs.None have come for me,only 1 strange dream.It would make me feel so much better just to know he was around.I hope your phone rings.I hope you try to have a nice b-day.I know,it's silly.I had my b-day 2 weeks after my dad died and it was a very sad day for me.You sound like me.

My dad died 2 months ago today.He was my best friend.I talked to him daily,3 times the day he died.He was gone before I made it to the hospital.I'm thankful he went fast and didn't suffer,but I missed out on saying so many things I think he deserved to hear.49 is way to young to die,but Im coming to terms with the fact these things happen.Everyone says they are still with you.The thought helps a little,but I can't FEEL him.What I do feel is this tight pain in my chest,sometimes its hard to breathe.I miss him so much...His voice is fading in my mind,and his face is starting to fade in my mind.That hurts the most and almost makes me panic.Gone??I can't believe it.He was too beautiful to go so soon.I'm sorry to ramble,everyone else in my life is over talking about him,sometimes I cant help myself.The pain we all share is so powerful....

what a beautiful post.I can feel your love for your mother through your words.I'm sorry for your loss,and what a unfair way to have to say goodbye.I have so much anger over my fathers recent death,and that was a heart-attack.I can't imagine the anger when you actually have someone or something to blame.I know everything there is to say.I have heard it all in the past month,but I will say that the love for her will always be with you.The memories will always be there.I can sometimes hear my dad's voice in my head,and I know that although it rips my heart up,I never want to forget that voice.It's unfair,I know.The anger is real,the pain is overwhelming,and there is no relief until the day we see them again.Stay strong,and thank you for sharing.

everything you are saying about your father,I also feel.I have 2 posting names and I can't remeber the password to the one I use.You posted on my sight,that name is under Bell.I can't believe how similar we seem in our situations.My dad died suddenly at the beginning of jan. this year.Everytime I'm in the car I hear a song that makes me think of him...everytime I watch t.v.I know exactly how you feel.My dad was the coolest dad that everyone loved.His death left such a hole in me,but everyone else is ok.I get angry at everyone for not being more upset.I know that's crazy.I think it's starting to sink in.I miss him.Thank you for posting.It helps to know there is people who know how you feel.I'm a adult, but right now I feel six,and I just want my daddy.My protector,my friend,my father.I know how much you are hurting.

I lost my father on jan.1,2010.One week earlier then your dad.I am also a daddy's girl.I was very close to him,my whole life.He died on a side job out in the snow.He was 49 and he had a heart attack.I spoke to my dad three times the day he died,and even though I spoke to him,it wasn't at all close to the many things I should have said.I miss talking every day to him.I miss everything about him.I think of how my 2 boys wont know him.Not only that but my dad had 2 very young kids of his own.The loss of him is ingrained in everything for me.Every moment of my life.He was that huge of a man.[personality wise]He had the body of a 19 year old...no fat on him.He died of a heart attack in better shape then me.A heart attack?I can't handle the pain,and I have never felt so alone,as it seems everyone else has excepted that these things happen and move on.I'm stuck,and the reality is sinking in.No dad,ever,ever again.A huge part of me that no one else knew is gone forever...he took it with him.Hold on honey,you are not alone.Our stories are alot alike,and just knowing that there are people who know how you feel has helped.

wow.Im struggling with this exact thing right now.My 49 year old father just passed suddenly a month ago.My close friends will call during the day[when I'm in bed in a fetal position bawling] and they say "why are you crying?I want to say "why am I friends with you?"I hate to hear,"he would want you to be happy"I just miss him.how could I be happy?People are always telling me how to feel.I get so angry at people, even my own family is cold about it and I get mad that I have to feel like the crazy one.

I have had a number of little strange things happening to me and my family in the short month of my dad's sudden passing.Most could be brushed off as a coincidence but all of them together....I hope so,because the thought of him messing with us[he was the type to love to mess with you]brings me some sort of comfort.

I lost my dad suddenly last month.Aside from salt in the fridge and jelly in the cupboard,crying while waiting tables at work,and getting angry at every person who wasn't as devastated as me,I have started reading books on mediums and the afterlife[weird for me...not my upbringing].Me and some of the closest people to this death have thought we have been experiencing strange things.I don't know if it's my imagination or something real.And I always listen to his favorite songs and I put his picture on my screensaver.The list of crazy could go on and on.